J&j Party

No. We paid for our own wedding without throwing any fundraisers.

I’m not sure what a J&J is but I personally don’t feel like I should have to contribute/donate in order for someone else to afford a wedding. If you can’t afford it, either push your date back, have a super small wedding or get married at the courthouse. Just my opinion.

View Quoted Comment Often stands for Jack & Jill, Jill & Jill or Jack & Jack!


Yea, I can understand that. Maybe I just know a lot of people who had one, so it seemed like a thing to do lol. Thanks for the input!

View Quoted Comment We have our budget lined up, for the most part, so maybe this question is irrelevant after all lol. Maybe the aren’t as common as I thought!

What's a J&J? Sorry not answering your question, but I'm curious.

I'm sorry but the words "fundraising" and "wedding" should not be in the same phrase. If you feel you need to fundraise then you should push your wedding out or cut back where you can.

I had to Google what that is. Charging admission for a party to fund another party sounds counterintuitive to me. It seems ESPECIALLY tacky to invite people to the J and J when they're not invited to the wedding. That's saying, Hey, we want your money for this even better party you don't get to attend!


If I want to subsidize your wedding, I'll give you cash as your wedding gift.

A few people on the outskirts of our social group have had them and honestly? I’ve always hated the idea that people were looking to make money off their friends to pay for their wedding. To me, this isn’t really any different than the idea of inviting guests to the wedding and telling them they need to pay for their own meal.

View Quoted Comment Jack & Jill /Jack & Jack / Jill & Jill. It’s a party that the couple throws and sells tickets to raise money for the wedding. I guess they aren’t as common as I thought lol

I had never heard of a Jack & Jill until this forum. I think they are a regional thing, we don't have them in NJ or not that I know of or ever been invited to. I would not attend one.

I grew up in San Diego, and now live in Denver. Jack and Jill parties aren't a thing in either area, so these parties seem super weird to me. In my opinion, if you can't afford a wedding then you don't have one. But asking guests to pay for the wedding shouldn't be an option.

Never heard of it and would be a little confused if I was invited to one to be honest!

We didnt. In my culture people give cash as wedding gifts almost like we pay per plate as a wedding gift. Even if we didn't get a lot of wedding gifts we budgeted out what we could and are ok with affording