Jack and Jill Etiquette

I think for her destination bachelorette especially if SHE asked for it to be destination, she could cover something like flights or her portion of hotel at least, because it is kind of a ton of money to do that

Definitely extreme. That’s a whole lotta yikes & unfortunately I have no advice :/ what do the other girls think about this?

Wow. That is extreme. I would remind you that you are under no obligation to follow through with any of those requests. If that’s what the bride wanted she should have made that expectation clear BEFORE you accepted as it may have changed your answer. Don’t feel pressure to spend money you don’t want to or cannot afford to spend.

You are most certainly not "solely responsible" for anything. That includes a jack & jill, destination bachelorette, etc. She cannot dictate any of that and, frankly, I'd rethink a friendship with anyone who feels that entitled.

Additionally, I know they're really regionally-specific, but jack & jill showers, as a generality, are incredibly rude to host period.

It's not extreme because it's straight up just not going to happen. The better word here would be unrealistic.

"That's not going to work for us/me and our/my budget" on repeat.

Sounds like she’s expecting way too much from the bridal party. If it’s too much, don’t feel bad about bowing out. Sounds like she wants everything, with no responsibilities to pay for what she wants

Did you guys ever discuss a budget for any of these events, did her MOH? This is pretty crazy that she'd just expect all of this and not consider those who'd have to pay for it. I would not move forward planning any bach party stuff unless there was a budget and everyone is in agreement.

I originally was not going to have a bach party since I had no bridal party but my sister and cousins took me to Vegas a few months before to celebrate. They all set a budget and planned it out in a way where it was super cost friendly and everyone was comfortable. I paid for a few things like my luggage on the plane, a few lyft rides and maybe a round or two of drinks. It might have helped a lot that we went on a low season to Vegas (November) but that decision was also made for us to take more advantage.

Thank you so much, ladies. This is so hard because of course I want to celebrate her, its HER day we have both dreamed of for each other! But the Jack and Jill just took me by surprise. I was fully prepared for the bachelorette!

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The wedding is her (and her future spouse's) day, sure. But those other things are completely optional, non-essential, extra parties. Setting boundaries that protect your budget and your sanity doesn't mean you are hurting "her day" in any way. Be upfront with her about what you will and will not pay for, and then resist engaging if she wants to argue to guilt you.

Who Pays for a Jack and Jill Party? A Jack and Jill party can be planned as an engagement party or as a joint wedding shower. Depending on the goal of the celebration, a Jack and Jill is planned, hosted and paid for by the bride and groom, their families or the maid of honor.
https://www.reference.com › pays-ja...Who Pays for a Jack and Jill Party? | Reference.com

Who told you the wedding party is responsible for the Jack & Jill (& what is that?)? The wedding party is only responsible for showing up at the wedding. So whoever told you that you’re responsible for paying for all of these things is wrong.

Who goes around expecting people to pay for super expensive parties on their behalf? Yikes. Nobody can tell you what to do with your money or decide your budget for you. Time to speak up!