Is it normal?

Every relationship has its ups and downs ya know? There’s no relationship without conflict. What makes it different now that you’re married vs when you were together just as bf gf? Do you think perhaps it’s that pressure to stay married that gives you the anxiety?

View Quoted Comment I think that’s all it is. The title of husband and wife I think just added extra emphasis and pressure that I want expecting.

View Quoted Comment Congrats, first! I've thought about that part - we'll be 10 years together at our wedding in September, and I'm like how stupid would it be if we split up because of this party or this new title.
We've called each other "partners" for a few years in social situations or intros, and I think I'm going to stick to that. I'll just use *husband* when people are being a jerk/ disrespecting us (one of the dumb reasons we're doing this) or on official paperwork. Honestly the one time I had to get into the ER to see him after an accident, I just went ahead and was like "I'm his *wife* get out of my way please". 😂
I guess take it with a grain of salt is my advice to both of us - you're still the same team.

You're not alone. My fiance and I have an amazing relationship yes its not perfect but we are just so right for each other in every way. And I know we will be happily married forever. But because Ive been raised in a family that is old school and doesn't believe in divorce I get anxiety from that added pressure. I've been with him for 3 years and never once have I ever had the thought that we wouldn't make it. But with the pressure from my family it definitely gives me a little bit of anxiety about the what ifs.

I have been legally married for 23 years soon. Eloping due to pregnancy at 17(dh was 22), and we had TONS of problems but never drugs, alcohol, or 3rd person. I think we all had ups and downs which is normal, but important is how you guys handle and move on from those problems. No one is perfect, and no marriage is perfect either 🥂


As long as you guys still love each other, work on your problems. Good luck!

I’ve often had that thought too. We’ve been together for 7 years and just got married a couple of months ago. I think it’s what pp have said with the added pressure and new title. I just have to remind myself that we’ve made it this far, I need to focus on now by growing together.

I'll say it is ...due to a nifty and you finally being married. What thoughts are you having may I ask

Aniexty*******typooo

No relationship is perfect. I started to get scared a few months before my wedding. I want to be married forever and I love my husband very much. But I calmed down when I realized that if I did ever hypothetically get divorced life would go on. I would get through that if I had to. So I could be brave enough to make the commitment. And so far it’s going amazing.

View Quoted Comment Okay that’s reassuring. Like idk it’s so weird. In my mind I don’t see us breaking up or divorcing. Then here comes a random thought like you better do this to be a good wife and make sure. I’m just naturally self conscious and I’m super hard on myself (I’m always trying not to be) so maybe that’s it lol. I’m just doing too much thinking

View Quoted Comment Yes!!! Exactly. I think that’s all it is. And I already am really hard on myself. I keep trying to suppress that negative energy. Thanks so much !

View Quoted Comment Storm, I hate the thought of separation or divorce too, but there is always a limit for everything. If there is no love or respect, I think a divorce is wise if the necessary change is absent.

I truly believe that you are not alone in this girly. No relationship is perfect but it takes a strong one to continue to make it work. I would suggest to pray on this so you can have peaceful thoughts and enjoy your marriage. Take your relationship day by day without any expectations and enjoy the little things you do for each other. Sometimes social media can bring up this illusion of what a picture perfect marriage should look like or how we should be like and feel. Try to maintain all the positivity in your life and any negativity I would suggest writing them up in a peace of paper and shredding it it's helped me a lot when I do that and it reminds me that I am in control of my present and future and these thoughts are just thoughts and not the reality of my relationship. best wishes

Anxiety is a type of fear. This is an acronym that helps me: "F.E.A.R. is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. There's no true threat of immediate physical danger, no threat of a loss of someone or something dear to us, actually nothing there at all. F.E.A.R. is an illusion. Something we fabricate in our own minds and pretend is real." Sometimes our thoughts can be our own worst enemy. Work on changing your thought process. You can start with writing positive affirmations about your marriage and things you're looking forward to in marriage. And accept that differences will arise and it's how you guys handle them that matters.

View Quoted Comment Love that, thanks