I’m starting to feel like house hunting is just like planning a wedding all over again. I’ll be frank- I just graduated from my masters program and got married last year. Realistically, we cannot buy a house, especially with all the wedding , honeymoon expenses. On top of that, I’m transitioning into a new career. A few mentors put it bluntly that because it’s a higher position, it will take a while. We happen to live in a suburb area where tech is taking over the city, therefore most homes are on average $800k. We can’t afford that right now and even if we could, we can’t just pull the plunge. We both knew that we wanted to be within the area where we grew up with an appropriate distance with each of our parents (far enough but not too far incase we need someone to watch the kids in the future on some occasions, of course). It seems to be the trend here that many couples move back with their parents to save. My husband is also against renting and would rather pay his parents money (way cheaper than rent) to stay at his parents for now.
We both have been with our parents going back and fourth. They live minutes away from each other. I had an understanding with my mom that we would be “at home” for at least a year to save up. My sister moved back a year ago from her program and she just moved out. Parents are not thrilled, as they wanted her to save. My dad also favors her and is co-dependent (I was the scapegoat child). When they found out, my dad projected on me and “threatened” that my husband and I move out. In his head- the married couple needs to have an apartment and save for the house; my single sister needs to stay at home and save for a condo. I’m upset bc this was all discussed prior to the wedding! We were all in agreement. My sister suddenly moves out and the rules change. Also, my mom has been pestering me about house hunting since we’ve been married, expecting us to buy a house like a pair of shoes. Now that my sister is out, she has taken “control” of the house hunting as if she’s finding her dream home through us. She’s either nagging us to buy a house now or planning house visits. She is NOT contributing financially.
I have some friends that ask me because they care - genuinely. Some friends ask me bc they wanna see what they’re up against and I can feel it. I have a friend around my age and she constantly asks me every month about the house situation, even though she knows we plan on saving up for a year. It’s like she wants to keep tabs. Then she gives me unsolicited advice that we should buy an apartment and forgo the house saving altogether. She doesn’t know our finances and who knows what her motives are.
It just bothers me so much now and part of it too is that I’m looking around for my job still. I don’t know why my dad is projecting on me more than usual and why the rules suddenly changed -since he makes up the rules and decisions? Not sure why my mom is in charge of the house hunting committee (even his mom is so eager for us to get a house now- only been married for 4 months). And I don’t get my friend constantly wanting to know the house situation and giving unsolicited advice. I feel surrounded by control freaks