Jennifer
Beginner October 2020

Is a post wedding slump normal?

Jennifer, on October 20, 2020 at 5:28 AM Posted in Married Life 0 11
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We have been married since 10.3.20 at the time the wedding felt beautiful and fun and everything I dreamed. Now the honeymoon is over, back to busy season at work. We've been arguing more, about stupid stuff. Which scares me for the future.
The photos are coming back and I'm disappointed. I don't look nearly as nice in the photos as I thought I would. No one told me there was a giant crease across my gown, and I hate how my hair looked. People have been saying how my sister was prettier than me on my one day to look my best. I am having trouble banishing these thoughts and remembering how I felt on that day, and not sure how to be a g

11 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on October 23, 2020 at 9:36 PM
  • Jennifer
    Beginner October 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    * not sure how to be a good wife


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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Awww I'm sorry that you feel this way. I would just try to relax and not stress. First off, no one should even be comparing you to your sister. It was YOUR big day not your sisters. Secondly, arguments are apart of every single relationship, just make sure you discuss your problems with your husband and I'm sure it'll be fine.

    As far as the crease and hair, don't stress over that because there is nothing you can do about it now. The day is done and over with and you can't change that, so no need to stress about that. I'm sure you looked great! Brides tend to overthink and this may be one of those moments, don't stress it.

    Lastly, not being a good wife? Is this your first time being married? It's a learning experience for everyone. Just like being a mother, you have to learn and figure out what works best for you and your husband. Their isn't a manual telling people how to be a good wife (well there actually probably is in this world lol) but every relationship is different and what works for everyone else may not work for you and your husband.

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I agree with all of Yasmine's comments, and would like to add a suggestion for a book that may be helpful for you and your husband to both read separately, and then discuss together: 5 Love Languages. It might help you and your husband to understand each other a little more.


    I'm sure you looked absolutely beautiful on your wedding day!! A crease in a dress doesn't make someone look ugly. Remember the positive feelings and happiness that you had on your wedding day and all throughout your honeymoon and focus on those. Marriage is difficult, but absolutely worth it!
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Yes! My husband and I took an online test of the 5 love languages a few years ago. I didn't read the book but I definitely would recommend the test online!

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I didn't know there was a test online too! I'll have to check it out once we finish the book, we've got like two chapters to go. Thanks for the info! My fiance and I found the book (and especially the discussing after each chapter) super helpful. I'd highly recommend it for anyone.
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Yes the test definitely helped! And we discussed the outcome afterwards for both of our love languages. And its free, so why not lol.

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Oh my! I know comments like that all too well. Many have told me that my sister is a lot prettier than me. I recommend seeking couple's therapy
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Oh! That’s terrible, no one should be comparing you to your sister and especially not on your wedding day. As for a slump, there’s so much excitement leading up to the wedding that a slump is nothing to worry about. I’m sure that your dress and photos are beautiful. Just try not to overthink them. As for the fighting, did you fight before the wedding. Maybe it’s just the pressure of being married. I’d echo PP that couples counseling can be really helpful.
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Oh my gosh i am so sorry to hear that - you are beautiful and don't think of yourself any less than because of someone's comparison of you.

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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    I'm so sorry people would be so rude as to compare weddings. You can't compare them, they are different and I'm confident you were absolutely beautiful.

    Talk to your husband, the first year post wedding is the hardest, things are the same, but they're not. You could walk away before, now there's a contract and it's a stronger bond, silly fights happen, but what you learn from them is what really counts.

    Just because the "honeymoon" is over, and we're back to the real world / life it just means we have to be more conscious of each other. Wedding stress postponed a lot and now that the day has come / gone it's just even more important to keep up teh communications.

    Did you two wear a special perfume, scents on your wedding day? My husband used his wedding cologne for the first time since our day yesterday and we both were brought back to the glorious day we got married. The smell brought back all those emotions, memories, everything good.

    Create a photo book, chronological of your favorite pictures and moments and just look at them and relive all the GOOD MEMORIES and forget all the sad ones. We got a ton of pictures and we both laughed because our photographer took like 8 pictures of my husband and his son putting his son's shoes on, but then only got TWO pictures of some random shots that would've been great to have 8 pictures of. He got a lot of pictures of us "talking" and these silly looks on our face and yet took 12 each of two of our favorite guests. Find the pictures you love and relive in THOSE moments. I promise it gets harder, but it does get better.

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  • J
    Savvy October 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I can relate a little bit. I have anxiety--and therefore a tendency to stress about small issues (even those I can't change). I got married on October 10 and haven't seen the photographs yet, but I'm nervous. I hated my MOH's shoes, which just didn't look right with her dress. At the end of the night, I discovered that a giant safety pin was showing near my butt and I don't know if it was visible all night or not. We forgot to get a photo of us ringing the church bell, and I'm so disappointed in myself for not remembering. I can't change any of this now, and yet it still gets to me--even though I feel overall satisfied with the events of the day.

    I've only been a wife for 13 days, and this is my first marriage, so I don't have advice for how to be a good wife. :-) But I think it might be normal to be having some arguments now that the two of you are not as distracted by the wedding as you were before. Also, the stress of work, COVID, and the emerging holidays can contribute to arguments.

    Finally, shame on people who would compare you to your sister. I don't know you and I didn't see you on your wedding day, but I think all brides are beautiful. You may have had a crease in your dress and I may have had a giant safety pin near my butt, but we're okay; in the end, we managed to have a wedding in the midst of a global pandemic and marry people we love. ;-)

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