Inviting friends (that aren’t invited to wedding) to pre-wedding festivities?

Covid has changed many things, like you said in a “normal world” that would be rude, but I don’t think it would be as much of a problem now. I’ve noticed that many people are doing them at their house (if they have room) since Covid

View Quoted Comment I agree! Thank you ❤️

We had to cut our wedding guest list but are holding out hope our governor will raise the amount of people allowed to gather so i invited everyone to the bridal shower that would be coming to the wedding if the guest list isn’t cut. I’m a little stressed about what is going to happen and if people would be mad, but honestly no one knows what’s going to happen and I’m looking at it like, if they possibly can’t celebrate with me on my wedding day I want them to celebrate with me somehow. We’re doing it with the intention of celebrating and seeing our loved ones, not for the gifts. I think people are very understanding! Possibly talk to one or two of them to see how they feel about it, I did that and my friend said she’d of course be disappointed she may not be there to support me on my wedding day, but wanted to be there for me at my bridal shower. Just be honest, say you’re not sure what’s going to happen, and tell them not to feel as if they need to bring a gift to these events. Just like the government, us 2020 brides are making up the rules as we go, just remember you’re doing your best and with good intentions. There’s no handbook on how to deal with all of this, so do whatever you feel comfortable with. Good luck ☺️

I think, given the circumstances, that it's okay to host something yourself that's not a gift giving event and invite your friends to it, as long as you make it clear that they won't be invited to the wedding. I don't think it's appropriate to invite them to an event that someone else is paying for where they're also expected to give you a gift. Maybe you could do a bridal brunch and invite some of your friends.

Agree it’s fine just don’t have it be a gift-giving event. But a “hey this sucks so let’s celebrate together in whatever way we can” girls night.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this.

If it's a bridal shower or gift giving event, absolutely not. Don't invite people to give you gifts when they won't be invited to join you for the main event, the wedding.


If it's a lets make do with what we can type of thing, like a bachelorette party where you pay for all your own expenses, I think that would be fine in theory.
As a practical matter, I don't think it's polite or safe to have a noncritical gathering for the express purpose of celebrating you. A wedding is a very important event. A pre wedding party is not. If a pre wedding party guest sees that you're willing to relax covid guidelines to have a prewedding party, someone is bound to get salty and wonder why you're not willing to have the same lax standards for your wedding. A 40 person wedding is small, but it's not covid small. Also, someone who has never had a wedding before may not realize that 40 guests doesn't mean YOU get 40 individuals you want there. It actually means 10 guests plus their SO's for either side, some of whom may be obligatory invitees.
I think a Zoom event is the way to avoid any hurt feelings.

I think the other thing you can do is have some thing after your wedding like a post wedding celebration with them

As other PPs have explained, if it's a gift-giving event like a bridal shower, then that's probably not a good idea. But if it's just a celebration or bachelorette party, then I don't see any problem with that

I would do a bridal brunch instead of a shower with those guests. Gifts are not done at brunch. It’s totally fine to invite them to the bachelorette, too. I would just be honest and up front with them. Tell them that while it sucks you cannot invite them to the wedding due to Covid, they’re still important to you and you want to celebrate this important part in your life with them.