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Beginner September 2019

Invited to a shower where the only registry is Honeyfund. Help?

LaurenAOK, on May 1, 2019 at 1:53 PM Posted in Registry 0 23

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So I found lots of perspectives on this from a bride/host angle, but I’m a guest here and don’t know what to do.

A friend is getting married next month. We’ve already RSVP’d and planned to contribute to their honeymoon fund, which is the only registry on their wedding website.

A couple of weeks ago my friend told me that her MIL wants to throw a last minute co-ed shower for them. My friend didn’t originally want a shower but she agreed. The MIL did reach out and invite me and the shower is this weekend.

Issue is... the only registry is still the honeymooon fund, so I have no idea what to do for the shower. Do I just bring a card saying we’ll be contributing to the fund? Do I guess a gift and bring that? I texted the MIL to ask about a registry and all she said was “there is no registry for the shower but there is one for the wedding on the website.” Well the only one on the website is the fund so does that mean no one is bringing gifts to the shower? I’m so confused.

Im thinking of just reaching out to the bride and asking her directly what she prefers but that feels tacky. Help!

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23 Comments

Latest activity by Scarlett, on May 14, 2019 at 9:39 PM

Master August 2019
Allie · on May 1, 2019 at 1:55 PM
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That's awkward... Usually showers are for physical gifts. I would reach out to the bride and ask what her expectations were.
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VIP July 2019
Summerbride77 · on May 1, 2019 at 1:56 PM
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That’s a tricky one. Is it possible the MIL doesn’t know the only registry is a honey fund? If you are close to this friend you could always ask what she would like. Otherwise maybe a card and nice bottle of wine?
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VIP March 2019
Abby · on May 1, 2019 at 1:58 PM
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That sounds like a really awkward situation and that it kind of tacky on their part. I'd just reach out to the bride if possible and ask what her expectations are. Or maybe bring a gift card or something and call it a day.
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Expert July 2019
Natalie · on May 1, 2019 at 2:00 PM
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That does sound awkward I think if I were a bride with only a honeymoon fund It would be to expect more cash than gifts? So maybe bring an envelope with a note and some cash you can always add a a nice bottle of wine or something
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Master August 2018
Nemo · on May 1, 2019 at 2:01 PM
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Ahhhh. I'm so sorry! I would feel so awkward going to a shower and giving cash. I would probably do a bottle of wine as another poster suggested. The Caymus Conundrum red or white blend would be what I would bring, depending on what the couple likes. Maybe even a wine and cheese basket?
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VIP June 2019
Future Mrs. K · on May 1, 2019 at 2:01 PM
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I agree with Abby, maybe just do a gift card to a restaurant or a nice bottle of wine and some nice glasses or something as others suggested. You could also do champagne? We got a champagne bottle engraved with our names at our engagement party and loved it!
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Rockstar July 2018
Mcskipper · on May 1, 2019 at 2:05 PM
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MIL’s response is super weird and quite frankly, obnoxiously unhelpful haha. I agree with the idea of a bottle of wine/alcohol. I think it’s fine to keep it small and simple especially given that it’s last minute, no registry, and knowing the friend didn’t want one to begin with. I certainly wouldn’t contribute to the same fund twice.
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Expert October 2019
Jennifer · on May 1, 2019 at 2:05 PM
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I was invited to a wedding and shower with the same. The main difference was that the shower invitation specified a request for gift cards. The couple is living in a small, temporary apartment, so I think they're really trying to just wait to acquire their startup stuff, until they're in a place with more room for it.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 1, 2019 at 2:08 PM
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I would decline the invitation or gift the tackiest bedazzled picture frame I could find. I have no tolerance for couples that allow people to throw them showers without the common courtesy of setting up a registry.
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 1, 2019 at 2:35 PM
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I'd imagine you are not the only person asking questions about this shower. If you care to try and get specifics, keep asking lol. Otherwise, PP gave good suggestions.
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Super September 2019
Selena · on May 1, 2019 at 2:56 PM
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Date night basket? But yes that is weird not to have a registry
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VIP May 2019
Mandy · on May 1, 2019 at 3:05 PM
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I'd reach back out to the host (MIL) and explain that you'd love to get them something off their registry, but you only see the honeymoon fund. Maybe ask if there's another registry you weren't aware of. If it's only the honeymoon fund, I'd probably get them a gift card to a restaurant for a date night. I personally dislike honeymoon funds - not because they are asking for money, but because it seems like the only way they can go on said honeymoon is with financial help and I think people should plan the honeymoon they can afford.
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VIP August 2019
Alicia · on May 1, 2019 at 3:46 PM
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This is a good idea. Or a gift card to a store you know they'll shop at? This does seem really awkward and confusing. Good luck figuring it out!
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Super May 2019
Kiki · on May 1, 2019 at 3:52 PM
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I would bring a Sephora gift card so the bride can buy some sort of makeup for her big day and maybe a nice bottle of wine. I don't like contributing to those funds websites because they take a cut. For the wedding I wouldn't either I'd bring a card with cash in it.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on May 1, 2019 at 4:03 PM
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If it were me, I'd probably just bring a gift like a cutting board, picture frame, bottle of wine, etc.
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Master August 2019
Allie · on May 1, 2019 at 4:06 PM
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Yeah.. depending on who they were to me, I would probably just not go.
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Devoted June 2020
Kimber · on May 1, 2019 at 5:26 PM
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I agree, when in doubt, wine is a great gift! It will be used, so folks can't complain that they don't have room for it. If they aren't wine, a nice bottle of their favorite liquor is a thoughtful touch as well.
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on May 1, 2019 at 6:06 PM
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I'm just so awkward.
I would just completely decline the invitation and only attend the wedding.
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Dedicated February 2020
Elizabeth · on May 1, 2019 at 6:11 PM
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I personally don’t find this tacky at all. I’ve been to plenty of honeyfund showers- definitely depends on the couple. I always bring a bridal shower card and mention the honeyfund in the card. (It’s becoming more and more common at least where I live)
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Super September 2019
ASMini914 · on May 1, 2019 at 6:16 PM
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I would go to a store like Crate & Barrel, or a department store and buy them something like a cutting board or something small.
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Invited to a shower where the only registry is Honeyfund. Help?

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