i can't stop thinking about my Fiance's Bachelor Weekend involving strippers! Ugh!

I am so sorry you feel so upset about it. My husband and I sat down and talked and made sure we were on the same page. We didn't end getting to do our parties due to covid but we both knew strippers were a very big no to us. I would talk to him and just let him know what you are feeling. If nothing happened then maybe you will feel better about it in time. But make sure you set boundaries next time.

Was he aware before hand that he was having strippers there? Maybe his GM just "surprised" him with it. Does he go to strip clubs now/pre covid? If you feel so strongly about it it should have been talked about thoroughly before hand.
However just remember they do not give a f*** about your FH and are just earning their paycheck. You definitely need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. You don't want these nagging thoughts in your head on your wedding day.

It’s just women doing their jobs. You need to trust your fiancé that nothing happened and work on getting over it. Try to reframe your thoughts when they pop up: don’t hide them but accept that it makes you sad and move on. It sounds like maybe instead of joking about it, you should have had a serious talk. I agree that you should talk about your feelings now with your fiancé but don’t dwell.

Omg! I would keep thinking about that as well. I don't think you should have asked him for the details.

We didn't have our own parties due to covid. But before covid we did agree no strippers. It's hard to get that out of your head. Def let your FH know ita still On your mind and vent to him

Well, what’s done is done & there’s nothing you can do to change it. It seems that a serious discussion wasn’t made & now it’s bitten you in the but. Most importantly, has he ever made you feel or given you any cause that he hasn’t been faithful? In the end, you chose each other to spend the rest of your lives together.

Oh man! For anyone reading who hasn’t had a bachelorette/bachelor party yet, this is definitely something that should be discussed ahead of time!
You two really need to sit down and talk about this. Tell him you’re still feeling hurt about it and explain everything you’ve said here about how you didn’t think that would happen. Your feelings are valid and normal! A lot of women are not okay with their significant others viewing other women naked in person, and insecurity is a normal response for many. While you cannot change the past, the two of you can discuss your feelings and boundaries for the future. You need to be on the same page about where the line is drawn so nothing like this happens again in the future.

Everyone has their different boundaries and preferences and personally I would absolutely be super upset if that happened. I COMPLETELY trust my fiancé, but if he was in such a personal setting with half naked/fully naked women it would make me upset. Your feelings are absolutely valid but you also need to find a way to move past them because what’s done is done unfortunately! I hope you and your fiancé can have a good talk and you can move past this!

It’s totally normal to have boundaries, but it’s not helpful if you don’t discuss them until after it happens. Strippers are a “thing” at bachelor(ette) parties, so if you were against him having one, why didn’t you say that?
I think this is something you need to work on moving past. Your FH didn’t do anything wrong and he can’t do anything to change it now. I also think it’s important to understand that reciting vows and signing a marriage license doesn’t make you less human. Humans are attracted to other humans and it doesn’t go away just because you’re married. Your husband is going to see other women, maybe even naked or almost naked ones. You have to trust your FH and remember that he’s marrying you for a reason.

I'm sorry you feel that way about it, it's definitely something that should've been discussed. But honestly I wouldn't take it personally. Strippers are professional entertainers. The expierience of watching a stripper is not intimate in the slightest 😂 I hope that can at least give you a little peace of mind

I'm sorry you feel this way and keep thinking about it. I know a lot of groomsmen plan them even if the groom says he doesn't want them there or can't have them there and it's out of your control even if you had a conversation about it. I think the most important thing about this is that you guys were able to have open and honest communication about it and he was able to tell you everything that happened. That should give you hope that there is Trust in your relationship and there is hope in the future.

I am SO sorry this happened to you. I would be just as bothered, if not more bothered if it were me. I definitely would feel cheated as well and It would be a blow to my confidence. I agree that it should have been talked about but there’s no point going there now. You honestly have every right to feel the way you do. The best thing would be to be completely honest with your FH and Talk it through. Whenever bad thoughts come to your head, replace them with thoughts of how wonderful your FH really is, how much he loves you, and how excited you are to spend the rest of your life with him. Easier said than done.

I would feel this way also, honestly. I would have a heart-felt discussion with him telling him how this has affected you and how it really makes you feel. Seriously and no joking.

I am sorry you are sad. It’s so hard when you have nagging thoughts you just can’t drop. As someone who has been to many a strip club and personally found them entertaining yet really nothing special, I think of strippers as like, people who play sports.. (I’ve never seen them get fully naked that part surprised me. I think I said “ew” outloud but anyway lol.) He isn’t still thinking about them... I can *promise* you that. I’d bet my entire bank account. Literally. So the fact that he’s already forgotten about them should be a very good push in the right direction to letting it go. If this persists, I’m a huge fan of therapy, and I’m being serious! I love having professional help when I need to get over something or learn something new about myself. 💗 There’s a deep reason why this isn’t easy for you to let go.

Strippers are very common for bachelor parties, often the best man/groomsmen will set it up. If you don’t trust that your fiancé didn’t do anything extraneous, you need to be having a serious conversation with your man. It’s all for fun.

Should you have had the conversation before the party? Probably. My fiancé and I had this conversation before we were even engaged, because I like my expectations to be out in the open and very clear. Strippers are a somewhat, but not extraordinarily, common thing at bachelor parties, so it probably warranted a conversation. But at the same time - really?

If your FH hid a huge amount of debt from you, bought a sports car without telling you, spent the night in jail on the bachelor weekend, bought or did drugs, or cheated on you with someone from the bar they went to, would we accept the same excuse of "oh well you didn't tell me not to..."? Would you really let your FI play dumb like that, or is there some baseline implied expectation to be a decent person?

This is an issue of your fiancé's character. A naked woman danced for him while his friends watched. And he let all this happen! He was free to say no, he was free to walk out, but he didn't. That's a character problem. You need to ask yourself if you are comfortable marrying this type of person. A lot of people on this thread are and that's fine. Others including myself aren't and that's fine too. No one is allowed to tell you your boundaries are wrong - that's for you, and only you, to decide.

One word of caution - "private strippers" at a house party is sometimes/often code for prostitutes. Not saying that's what happened here, but it's possible, especially given that they were completely naked. I would get tested for STDs as well.

I haven't experienced this, but I understand why you feel the way you do.

Yes, there should've been an explicit conversation beforehand about parameters and what you both are and are not comfortable with. I think we all wish we could go back in time at one point or another because hindsight is 20/20. DH has known my feelings on strippers and strip clubs since we first started dating.

However, the good news is that it doesn't sound like you have trust issues with him or anything, and it's not like he violated a boundary that you specifically told him about.

I'm not sure how to get those concocted images to stop playing in your head, but I do think having a conversation with him about how this is affecting you would be a good step if you haven't already. Try not to let your mind dwell on those thoughts - though I know it's easier said than done - and work on replacing them with others.

Maybe plan an extra-special date night or do something that makes you feel confident - like getting your hair/makeup/nails done, getting some new lingerie if that's your thing, etc.

It seems that you snd your FH are still together and moving forward with your March wedding. Also, it’s been weeks since the party and you’ve overthought this for so long. So what specifically is still bothering you about the party? What thoughts are stuck on your mind? Having a lack of trust and/or personal insecurities will eat away at your relationship. So hopefully you two can remedy those issues and not carry them into your marriage.

I trusted mine even tho he lied about going..said he had no choice but he drove them all there...in the middle of an argument that was caused by it last month he admitted to having another woman's breasts in his face..i should of post poned

Mine went and strictly told me there would be no strippers at the air bb. Come to find out there were strippers there, he never texted me that night and then straight up lied about it. At least your fiancé was honest. That’s worth something.