How to be my own happy

Sometimes I have days where I go through this every blue moon but you have to remember you are your own person! I love to bake, cook, watch movies (like holiday movies, lol!) so when I start to feel lonely I just get up and do something that will cheer me up. I'll paint my nails, take on little home projects, etc.

I'm not going to lie, I watch Christmas movies year round because they make me happy and cheer me up. I also enjoy being in the kitchen, so sometimes I find recipes for a good dinner, go to the grocery store, and buy the ingredients to make it for dinner!

I'd find little things that make your days alone enjoyable because its really really healthy to learn to enjoy how to be alone.

Find a hobby or group you can join. Try an exercise class, a crochet class, anything!

i think it’s very important to be your own person outside your relationship. It’s just not feasible to be together all the time.

Join a book club! You'll make new friends and give you something to do while you are home alone.

I think it's very sweet when your life becomes dependent on your spouse and you two are a team. But for your own health, and the health of your relationship when one has to leave for a business trip/etc., it's always great to be active and not sit at home (you just get more sad). For me, I work out multiple times a week then more when my fiance is gone. My fiance leaves for 2+ weeks during hunting season, then several long weekends after. Usually during those times, I run/walk/hike more with our dog, work out more myself, do a TON of house chores & cleaning, and get projects done (whatever I've wanted to do during that time). I also try to do things like reorganize our pantry, clean our cars inside & out, and random things I don't normally have time for during the week when we are busy. Also seeing friends & family can help!

I completely relate to this. My fiance and I moved to a new city earlier in the year. We're four hours from our family and friends and we know absolutely nobody here. He works out of the home, and I work at home so I'm here all the time by myself, and he's often out of town for a week or two at a time. I get very depressed and lonely, but lately I've finally been learning how to cope. I make sure to do the things I love, like read or journal. I talk to my friends from home and make plans to go home and visit every few weeks. If I feel like I'm about to lose it I will go to a coffee shop or go out for a walk or something that will expose me to outside society, ha ha. Try to stay busy, but also learn to appreciate the time you're able to spend with yourself. I know it's hard to make yourself do things when feeling down, but I promise you'll feel better once you try to enjoy your own company.

I get like this too. I don't really have any friends except for my FH, to be honest. So, if he's not home, then I'm alone. If I'm off from work for a couple days in row and he's not here, then I do get bored or lonely. I agree with PP with hobbies or other activities! Or try and go out with friends!

Find things you enjoy doing. As cute as it is that you love him, it's not healthy to cry that he's not near. You need to be on your own. You need to be comfortable in your own skin.

Go for walks. Join groups. Make friends. Read books. Make art. Go to the movies alone.

Can I ask how old you are and if you have ever lived alone?

I understand where you are coming from. I feel the same way. I spent so long in a miserable relationship with my ex, that I want to spend every waking hour with FH. Luckily he feels the same way. But, things happen and we have to spend time apart. I used to love to be alone. Now, I could cry when FH says he has to work late. I have been pushing myself to get out of the house more and to go places without him if I have to. But it is not easy.

I wish I had a good answer for you. All I can do is empathize!

I really used to feel this way towards my (now) fiancé. I never lived on my own so I went from living under my parent's care to his home. The first weekend he left me for a little trip I felt devastated and when he would go out for the evening I was feeling like I would do anything to have him back home. Which is not healthy for any of us. Now when he goes out I'm like yes! I'm using this opportunity to deep clean, watch a girly show he would groan at, etc. Lol. It's good to find things that are exclusive to you. Whether it be a spa night, maybe making some plans with your friends away from him to learn how to love yourself on your own! You're a complete, interesting person all on your own and it's a process to learn to appreciate that. For me, I didn't have many friends or hobbies at the time so adding those into my life allowed for us to be our own individuals. We've never been happier! It's nice to miss each other and come home and appreciate the company even more.

Also: Aren't you expecting? You have a little baby to plan for!

Hi Makayla! My sister gets this way with her boyfriend as well, she's a nurse so she works night shift so she is always home during the day when he is not. She has gotten really into working out as well as redecorating and doing house chores. Is there anyone that lives near you that you could run errands with during the day? It's always nice to have somebody to do things like that with!

It stinks that you feel so low when ypur honey isnt around but you need to find interests and hobbies of your own that make you happy. Relying on someone else as your sole source of happiness is not healthy.

I find myself in the same situation at times. As much as you enjoy with each other, it is healthy for both of you to spend time apart.

When you are alone, don’t focus on the alone part. Find a hobby, read a book, watch a movie, go walk around the mall. Enjoy being you.

I’m in the same boat.
We moved away from all of our friends last year, and I don’t have a car anymore, so it’s hard to get out of the house.
Hopefully I’ll be starting school soon so thatll keep me occupied and maybe I’ll make some friends too!

While I absolutely have days that I am so looking forward to him coming home or getting to see him, for the most part... I am totally fine on my own. However, I think that I like alone time more than the average person. Try thinking about the types of things you did before you were a couple. How would you spend an afternoon alone? And try getting back to those things. I Also agree with some of the other suggestion like finding an exercise class or something else that interests you. It would help you get your own hobbies or interests.

I prefer being alone 99% of the time. I attribute it to being an only child and having to entertain myself.

Im not sure how to answer this. To me, it seems unhealthy. What did you do before FH was around?

Sign up for something that’s just for you (like a yoga class or a meetup) or try out some hobbies that appeal only to you. Even just getting hooked on a TV or book series that you binge on your own. It sounds like you’re struggling to build an identity that is separate from your FH, creating something that is YOURS can help with that. I’ve found being able to spend time apart is important in any relationship.

Find your own interests and passion. Join a gym or fitness classes (yoga is awesome) or start a book club with friends. Take an art class. Explore what makes you happy. Being happy alone is really important, imo.

I think it's great that you realize you should be happy even when you guys aren't together and are addressing the problem. I think you should take yourself out on dates!

Go to the movies, take a yoga class, go to a coffee shop with a good book. Spending time with yourself is super important.

If you feel like this is a bigger problem than just getting a hobby I'd suggest finding someone to talk to - a counselor or therapist may be able to help you sort out your feelings and why you may be reacting this way when you guys aren't together.

My FH is also my best friend and I definitely miss him when he’s not around (usually) but I think it’s so important to have your own identity outside of your relationship. I also think it’s SO important that you’re recognizing this and working to change it. I want to commend you for taking control of this before it gets bad! I moved to a new city a few years ago and found myself in this situation, so I totally understand it’s so hard to make friends as adults. Do you live in some sort of complex or neighborhood? Getting to know my neighbors was so helpful, which I did slowly by saying hi while checking the mail or walking the dog and eventually leading to longer conversations and getting to know people. I also volunteered at the local animal shelter, which helped me do somethigngreat for the community as well as meet people with similar interests as me. What did you do in your spare time before FH? Plugging back into that in some way will be so great for you! Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in each other and so hard to make friends, but I seriously am so happy you’re trying to make this better before it spirals! Be proud of yourself for that.

Find something. I used to feel like this everyday!
My husband has always been a loner and when he is not with me he is fine but me I am bored and just waiting for him to get home!!!! He has his gym time and I go to the library when I am feeling like this and get cookbooks or I love to plan my wedding so I will search and watch florist videos until I don’t think about him for a while.