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Madison
Beginner November 2021

How to ask for money instead of gifts without sounding rude

Madison, on May 11, 2021 at 8:30 AM Posted in Registry 2 25
Questions!! Me and my fiancé have a small registry of stuff we need but we mostly would like money. Is there a way to phrase it without sounding like give us all your money 🤣

25 Comments

Latest activity by Kathy, on June 13, 2021 at 10:23 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Just keep the small registry. People know cash is a good gift, and they will default to cash after everything on the registry is gone.
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  • J
    Devoted September 2021
    Jay ·
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    I would say either don’t have a registry at all or add cash funds (for honeymoon, house down payment, car, etc.) to the registry. Gifts are gifts. Some people will give money, some people will want to give items (& if you have a registry they’ll likely go off that), & some people won’t give anything anyway.
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    There is no polite way to ask for gifts at all, much less money.

    The only time it is acceptable to tell your guests that you want gifts (cash or otherwise) is if they ask. You should not put this information in the invitation or any other stationery. Most people will ask where you are registered, or will give you cash by default.

    Because you have a registry, they probably won't ask unless they don't see anything they really want to give you on the registry, or all the items have been purchased.

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  • Brigitte
    Dedicated May 2021
    Brigitte ·
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    I'm guessing you're not having a bridal shower, so I just wouldn't mention gifts at all. Most people will default to cash as a gift when a registry isn't available.

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  • Madison
    Beginner November 2021
    Madison ·
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    I am. But we don’t need a lot. And I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to get me this expensive item. I guess I want them to know that there are options 🤷🏼‍♀️
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Everyone knows they can give someone money. It’s the universal gift! It does not need to be mentioned explicitly.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    There really is no option besides a gift at a shower. People only give physical gifts at showers. If you don't need anything, might be best to have a Stock the Bar shower. Otherwise, PP are right that there is no polite way to ask for money or mention gifts at all.

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  • J
    Devoted September 2021
    Jay ·
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    Ooo, didn’t realize you wanted a shower. I would not have a traditional shower if you don’t have a registry with enough items for everyone to purchase. At least where I am, cash at a shower is considered super rude & is not done. I expect people will likely purchase random items if the registry runs out of things. You could always have a gift-less shower (bring a family recipe, bring an alcohol) but people would still not bring cash. People might give cash on the wedding day.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    You can just put a cash fund through zola. most of the time people see it and just rather give you cash haha but i mean that is also a good hint that you want cash

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Everyone knows money is a good gift. If you have a small registry, just keep it at that and don't say anything else. PPl will get it.

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Since you mentioned you're having a shower, I'd have a traditional registry that's at least substantial enough to give your guests enough options to buy you gifts for the shower, since monetary gifts are not really appropriate for bridal showers. Then, you could have a teeny tiny registry for your wedding. Once the gifts are purchased, the rest of the guests will take the hint and give you cash.

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  • Courtney
    Expert September 2022
    Courtney ·
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    There's always things you can upgrade around your home. New towels (I highly recommend investing in some bath sheets instead of towels, they're bigger and amazing). Higher quality sheets. Stuff to help host parties at your home including glass ware, serving trays, etc. There's probably a lot more than you realize that could be nice to upgrade or add to at your house.

    I do second the stock the bar parties if you're not up for a more traditional shower.

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  • Maddie
    Expert February 2022
    Maddie ·
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    I'm in the same boat only I'm not having a shower. Either don't say anything and people will figure it out, or sign up for one of those honeymoon funds. I think someone mentioned Zola, there are a few others out there as well- honeyfund, traveler's joy. And you can set it up for more than just a honeymoon (house down payment, etc)

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Where I come from (Australia), we expressly include a note in the invitation suite that there will be a wishing well, or where to find the gift registry if there is one. On this side of the world it is a common practice that is well accepted and generally preferred as it indicates what gift the couple would prefer if a guest wishes to give a gift.

    In my time on WW, Americans frown upon this practice and find it rude/tacky - some going so far as to say they wouldn't dare attend a wedding if they had the bride and groom do this. If you have a crowd who likely wouldn't respond well to this, don't say anything.

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  • Jennifer
    Savvy August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    We aren’t ACTUALLY saying anything... but when you go to our website, and click on registry, there’s only one thing on it....”new house fund”😂
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  • Christine
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Christine ·
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    My Fiancé and I are using Honeyfund for a "New House Fund". It is also a great website to utilize to help pay for a honeymoon if you'd like! A friend of mine used it for her wedding and it worked pretty well for her!

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  • devotedlydavis
    Expert March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
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    I'm struggling with this as well - I got the idea from another bride (modified the wording), but am thinking about doing something like this:

    Your Presence is your Present. We're extremely grateful to those who have taken time out of their busy schedules to celebrate with us. As we are blessed enough to have all home necessities provided for, we've opted out of a formal registry. Should you wish to bless us further, there will be a table and card box at the reception and we have included a link to our honeymoon fund here. Our most treasured possession is memories that we've made with each of you and we cannot wait for the ultimate blessing of creating new, lifelong memories together and with each of you on our special day. Thank you to all of our family and friends. We can't wait to celebrate with you!
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    My husband and I created an online registry
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  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2021
    Lauren ·
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    OMG my mom just sent me one that read "Our worldly possessions are plentiful as such, on our registry list there isn't much. A gift of currency is all we ask to help us with our lifelong task."

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  • M
    Just Said Yes March 2022
    Miranda ·
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    If you are both established, I wouldnt feel bad for not registering anywhere- and have a honeymoon fund set up with or by the cards. No matter what, you do not want to offend not everyone has something to offer, you could even include something about the honeymoon fund to skip gifts.in this day and age- most people have blenders and decor and things of that nature, most people give a card/or cash or something sentimental or universal like towels lol. You could even mention having the wedding of your dreams and now to plan a honeymoon
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