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Emily
Super July 2019

How necessary is the rehearsal dinner?

Emily, on May 25, 2019 at 4:53 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 14
We are having a destination wedding and also are moving multiple states away one month before the wedding. To avoid stress, I booked my rehearsal dinner spot a few months ago. Well I just read a news article that they shut down. I emailed the manager there who confirmed. No money was put down, but it was a needle in the haystack because it fit our small budget. Now I’m packing up everything to move 500 miles away 1 month before my wedding and don’t really have time to search for another spot. Is it really terrible to just give up on it? With this move, we cannot send a penny more than we were going to. Ahhhhgg.

14 Comments

Latest activity by F, on May 28, 2019 at 1:33 PM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    If you don’t have a rehearsal you don’t need a rehearsal dinner. If you do rehearse you need to provide food for the people rehearsing. It’s fine if it’s something simple like ordering pizzas.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Agree with PP! You don't necessarily need a rehearsal dinner - only if you and FS want one. Of course, if you do, make sure you provide food and drink. Don't feel the need to have a fancy dinner if you don't want to Smiley smile

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  • Samantha
    Super August 2019
    Samantha ·
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    Also a bride moving and having a destination wedding! We moved across the coast just this month and are starting a new business. And having our wedding in Aug on the opposite coast! To avoid stress we’re keeping it simple and having a “rehearsal” via Skype with our Rabbi next month and the day before bringing our small bridal party (3 (plus spouses so 6 total)) and parents together with DOC to walk through everything. After we’re going next door to a Wine Dive and Saloon (it’s semi fancy but relaxed) and just reserving some outside tables with assorted pizza, some salad and bottles of wine, beers for the guys - 12 peeps total not everyone coming to the wedding.
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  • Becca
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Becca ·
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    Did you ask the manager for any recommendations? They could probably steer you toward a similarly priced and reputable restaurant in the area now that they are no longer able to provide the service.
    As PP said, the RD isn't necessary if you don't have the budget for it, but if it's something you would like to do it may be worth asking
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  • Mrscolón
    Super September 2019
    Mrscolón ·
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    I agree! You don't need to do anything big, if you do. My friend had a dinner at her in-law's house, where they got it catered for cheap. It was perfect!

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  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
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    We were planning on having everyone participating in the rehearsal come back to our place for food. I know you’re moving so that might not be an option, but having it catered rather than a fancy sit down could save you lots of money! I don’t think a fancy rehearsal is necessary when you’re having your wedding the next day!
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    The only necessary thing is that at some point you thank your wedding party for being there for you. Some people do it at a rehearsal dinner. Some, the groom takes out his people, and separately, the bride takes out hers, for a simple meal, or drinks and a snack. When the wedding party has traveled far from home for the wedding, B and G sometimes do these at the wedding location , before or after the wedding. These are 2 traditional times.. . . With family, and both bride and groom present, an RD is usually a couples affair if it is a formal sit down dinner, and SO of wedding party are invited. At very casual ones, pizza at home or across the street from rehearsal, it may be only for individuals needed for the rehearsal.. . . When a bridal luncheon or dinner, or a groom's, is just one side, it is usually not a couple's event. But when B and G do the whole wedding party together , sometime before or shortly after the wedding and not connected to the rehearsal , the usual social rules apply: Since it is for a group with clearly defined members ( wedding party) it may be just for them. Or may include SO. Host's choice. . . Given that you are moving, and will likely see your wedding party a day or 3 after the wedding itself, if you want to do one of the small meals or snacks just for one side, or both sides together, and give out any gifts or thank you gifts then, it is fine to close that gathering for wedding party only, their special thank you, and not include family or other guests. Just let them know that this will be instead of an RD, so they do not think they have been forgotten. . . Actual Rehearsal Dinners have always been optional. Rehearsals sometimes are just a quick walk through hours before the wedding. Or none at all. Bride and groom meet with officiant or clergy, and pass on instructions.
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  • A
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
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    Thanks for asking this question...I have been so consumed with planning the wedding that I did not budget a rehearsal dinner into the budget. I was curious what the answer would be,,,,I read some really good suggestions. Thank goodness for this site and the help we offer each other.

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  • Laura
    Master October 2019
    Laura ·
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    I didn't have one for my first marriage because my wedding was across the state from where we lived a the time and it would have been a hassle. A few of us just had pizza and it was nice. I don't plan anything this time either, unless it's a cookout or something

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  • Janiya
    Super June 2020
    Janiya ·
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    Hi Emily! We plan on having rehearsal the night before, but instead of booking a separate venue and getting food catered, we will be going to a nice Italian restaurant with everyone from the rehearsal. This took away the stress of planning and everything in between. This way, all I have to do is book a reservation at the restaurant for the amount of people we are expecting. Everyone is also responsible for paying for their own meals at the dinner. However, we will be providing the bridal party, our parents, our grandparents, and any out of town guests with their gifts.

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  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
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    You really don't need a rehearsal dinner.

    We skipped it entirely and had a post ceremony not-rehearsal-dinner (reception was the second day). It was a pj pizza party for those who were invited to the ceremony and we have wedding party gifts then instead of the rehearsal dinner.

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  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
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    For me planning an elaborate rehearsal dinner with rented space, catered food etc. a day or two before the wedding is kind of silly & unnecessary.
    If you’re having a rehearsal, you can just grab a bite or drinks with your wedding party in a restaurant/bar next door. If you can’t pay for everyone’s full meal, I see no issue with it. If I’m in a bridal party, I’d happily pay for myself rather than eat bad food, because it’s the only thing couple could afford, or put the burden on financially strained couple, planning a wedding & moving across the country 🤷🏻‍♀️
    If the money is tight you could also just host wedding party at your place with some drinks, finger foods & a dessert. That would be much cheaper & still lots of fun!
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    If you don't have a rehearsal, you don't need to host a rehearsal dinner.

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  • F
    Devoted June 2019
    F ·
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    You don’t need a rehearsal dinner. I’m not having one and I’m getting married Saturday. The coordinators are going to put people in place etc. No need to have a rehearsal.
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