How do you get over it when your wedding didn't go as planned…at all?

I would be livid and definitely getting a good portion of my money back. And then take it and either have an awesome anniversary party or vacation =) im sorry that happened but i understand why you would be mad.

I would definitley talk to the vendor. Look over the contract and have words to see about getting money back or something, unacceptable

I would contact the venue for possible reimbursement

Sorry your day didn't go as planned. Yes please contact them and express your disappointment maybe they can compensate you. If they can't then threaten to sue that usually get the ball rolling.

Yep!!! You should definitely express yourself and should get some form of compensation. I had a similar experience with my caterer. Not happy with them at all. I even got advice from the wonderful ladies of WW and am in pursuit of my money back!!! I don't think you can really get over it. As much as I try to, I just keep thinking about how good they were at the beginning and just effed up at the end. So disappointing!!!!

Wow, I didn't even think about getting reimbursed but that makes sense. Thank you all for responding, so many people have just told me to get over it but it's different when you're the bride and it happens to you! I really appreciate your input!

Goodness, gracious yes! Contact the venue and express your disappointment! Demand a refund.

@andeejai yes! They were great at the beginning, so nice and helpful. But they COMPLETELY dropped the ball for the actual wedding. Sorry you went through something similar!

@ Dani... girl me too!!! Let's all get together and make a time machine so we can go back and change some things lol

You should also leave truthful reviews on WW and other places so that future brides can be warned!!!

That is a bummer. I hope that with time you can find some humor in it - sometimes funny stories come back later. Compensation helps, and once you have that make sure you review them as a vendor so other brides don't run into that crap - be someone else's fairy bride-mother

It's a lot of money to just "get over," and it's so easy for an outsider to say to somebody else. I'd have a conversation with the venue, and depending on that experience, I'd start to review your vendors. Leave honest reviews on the ones that were disappointing.

Definitely email them AND call them expressing your dissatisfaction! I would ask for money back as well. Them trashing the cake/cupcakes is inexcusable!! And they should have been able to plan better in regards to your decor and such... Very unprofessional of them!

I'm sorry that happened to you and I would definitely be contacting the venue about it.

We had so many things go wrong, I completely understand how you feel. And unfortunately, getting money back doesn't really make up for the day of...

I don't have much advice getting over it since I'm still dealing with my own feelings about it. BUT, whenever I get to thinking about all the things that went wrong, I force myself to start thinking about all the things that went right.

DJ sucked? = But the cake was AWESOME!

Missed that photo with grandma? = She's alive and in good enough health to be there!

Ceremony music was an epic fail? = Complimented on my dress all night long!

Email a request for a refund based on your LEGITIMATE complaints of THEIR bad service.

If they flip flap around, then file a civil suit for breach of contract.

Once you get your money back, write nasty reviews for them everywhere.

This is NOT okay, and you are entitled to at least some of your money back for this disappointment.

Look for compensation and plan a kick ass anniversary trip.

Dani...I'm sorry you had so many issues on your wedding day. You have a good attitude, but that doesn't change the fact that it sounds like you paid for services that you either didn't receive or were not according to your contract.

First, get out your contract. Find every clause that relates to every problem that arose. Then, write to the venue (follow up with a phone call or a visit within a few days if there is no response). Do it right away (use email...it's the fastest way, and you'll have a record). You were married six weeks ago. Most couples who express dissatisfaction with their vendors will do it quickly.

Start out with a positive tone. Tell them that you loved the services provided by a majority of your vendors (this will let them know that you are not an overbudget/undergifted bride who is trying to get refunds from all your vendors. I'm certainly not suggesting that's what you're doing, but believe me, it happens). In bullet points (not long paragraphs), let them know what went wrong. With each issue, attach the exact language from your contract addressing that particular issue. For example, what does the contract say about being allowed into the reception area to decorate before the wedding? If your contract states that you were to be allowed access to the room several hours before the wedding to decorate, then you paid for time you didn't get. That's an issue. It might also be an issue if your contract states that they will only hold one event per day in the space you rented. If your decorating time was based on a verbal promise made by the event coordinator or other venue employee, they may deny the offer was ever extended. A verbal contract is a contract, but typically, written contracts supersede oral contracts. If it was verbal, mention it anyway. It couldn't hurt.

You said they messed up your decorations. Be very specific about what that means. Were things torn, broken, or dirty? Were you told that you could leave them at the venue the night before the wedding? If you were, you have a right to expect that your property would be treated with a reasonable amount of care. Again, check your contract. It may say that they take no responsibiity for personal items left at the venue. If the contract says nothing about this issue, you can refer to verbal permission that was granted to leave the decorations there. If you have photos of the damage, include them. Photos are very important.

As far as the shuttle, forgetting to pick your BMs up is a big blunder. Again, write out the line in your contract in which the shuttle is promised. If the shuttle never showed up and alternate arrangements had to made, then you should be financially compensated (they must have a standard fee for this service worked into your contract price). If they had to be contacted because they forgot, but they did show up late, I would mention it, but I'm not certain that you'd actually be refunded any money because the service was provided.

Your big issue is your food. Did they prepare and serve the food, or did you use an outside caterer? If you used them, you're in a much better position because they won't be able to push the mistakes off onto another vendor. If you did use an outside caterer, check your contract very carefully to determine what responsibility the venue will assume for the catering (if they allow outside caterers, there should be a clause addressing this). If your cupcakes and cake were destroyed and unuseable, you deserve to be compensated. If you have photos of the destroyed cupcakes, include them. You say they completely messed up your catering. When you say that, do you mean they served the wrong food, didn't serve the right amount of food, served food that tasted bad, or served it too late or too early? Again, be very specific. Compare what you received to what the contract says you were to receive.

I believe you may be partially reimbursed for the catering issues, and, if the shuttle never showed up, the shuttle service. Being locked out of your suite may have been an inconvenience, but if you weren't locked out for a substantial period of time, it's probably not worth fighting over. I'd mention it, and I'd mention it in a review, but I don't think that's where you want to focus your energy.

Remain polite and professional. You may be pleasantly surprised. Event venues thrive because of positive guest experience. Write to someone in authority. These are the people who are very concerned about customer feedback. You have nothing to lose. Good luck.

You have a great attitude but you were treated very poorly by numerous people. Centerpiece told you what to do, and you need to do it; soon. Pick the things that made the biggest dent in your day; shuttles are my pet peeve right now because I've literally waited for one or more of them every weekend since the spring. One company never even showed up; 50 guests were more than an hour late.

This company knows they screwed up. Your letter, unemotional and organized, will not come as a surprise to them, and down the road, other people will benefit.

And ideally, you'll get a second honeymoon. Please keep us posted. if you want help writing your letter, just email me.

Centerpiece nailed it.

You've gotten great advice already. Let us know how it goes!