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Gabriela
Dedicated November 2020

How do married couples manage joint finances?

Gabriela, on June 17, 2019 at 8:56 PM

Posted in Married Life 60

My Fiancé and I will be living together after we get married. We both currently are living with our parents. I had an apartment before but transferred to a university closer to home so it made more sense for me to live at home. We were planning to live together before we got engaged but once we were...
My Fiancé and I will be living together after we get married. We both currently are living with our parents. I had an apartment before but transferred to a university closer to home so it made more sense for me to live at home. We were planning to live together before we got engaged but once we were engaged we decided to wait until after the wedding to save money.

y fiancé used to visit me for long periods of time at my apartment so we have a small taste of living together, but I was curious to see how other couples divide up finances once they are married. Most of the married couples in my family are traditional and the man works and the women stay home, so there’s not really any shared finance responsibilities. Both fiancé and I will be working and equally providing but I want to know how other share finances with each other.

o you both equally spilt all bills and responsibilities or do you each have set of bills you decide to pay?

Fiancé and I have discussed this before and we usually just say we’d split it across the board.

I’m sorry if this is a dumb or silly question. I’m going to be new to married life and it was just running through my head on how other married couples work it around. I know managing your own finances is way different once they are conjoined to your partner.

60 Comments

  • W
    Savvy December 2015
    Woman On The Go ·
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    I really agree with that first paragraph. My husband and I did really examine our spending, so we know each other's spending habits and where we tend to splurge, no surprises. We also had no debt, so that helps A LOT. We don't care how the other spends money on a daily basis, but we do consult each other for larger purchases. For us, joint checking and savings, separate credit cards (that we're both technically authorized on, but I use "mine", he uses "his").
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  • Rachel
    Dedicated July 2019
    Rachel ·
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    We have been living together for about 4 1/2 years already and have been splitting bills 50/50 until recently when I was at the end of grad school and had to do full time unpaid internships, at which point he took over most of the expenses and I contributed what I could from savings. Once we are married and my name change is all squared away, we plan to open a joint account where all of our checks will be direct deposited and all bills, groceries, gas, fun money etc will come from the same pool. We consider ourselves a unit And are both smart with our spending so for us we decided completely sharing finances makes sense. Like many others have mentioned we have discussed a limit to spending where we will discuss the purchase before making it (example: spending $1000 on a new lawn mower, etc) to prevent any surprises in the budget, but overall we will have similar financial freedom to what we have now with our separate accounts just with one pool of money vs two.
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I just bought a house with my fiance and we are in the process of figuring this out and seeing what works for us.
    There's probably going to be a whole lot of trial and error over the next 2 years.
    He paid rent for the last 2 years at an apt, and I moved back in with my parents after I graduated from college.
    I had enough money saved for a down payment, and our mortgage payment isnt much more than his rent.
    So far, he's working on our bills, I'm working on furniture, household needs, wedding and honeymoon.
    I think communicating and figuring out what works and doesnt work is going to be the best thing you can do.
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  • Leslie
    Devoted August 2019
    Leslie ·
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    I’m living with my parents now but my fiancée and I lived together for a while before getting engaged. I made more money so I contributed a little more to rent/untilites. For the most part we’d switch off for things like groceries and paying for dinners out. My car is still under my dads name and I pay my parents for my phone bill/car insurance (we’ll probably change this once we get married but that’s definitely not on my todo list right now), and she has her student loans she’s paying off. It’s worked pretty well for us so far, but we’ll be moving in a few months and our financial situation will be a little different, so I’m sure it will change things somewhat!
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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    Hi Gabriela! Not a silly question at all. My fiancé currently makes a bit more than I do, and has a somewhat more consistent income as he works full time. Therefore, we decided that he will pay the rent every month while I am in charge of electric/water. We have our own student loans to pay too, and groceries will kind of be a whomever thing. We will pool our finances once we are married, so ultimately it won't really matter who pays for what for us.

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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    He tends to pay a the bills. I have gotten a few raises so I have been paying more for going out. Also most the wedding stuff I have gotten. I do make sure to ask him once a month if he needs me to pay for more.
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  • Megan
    Expert November 2022
    Megan ·
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    We plan on having a joint account but also separate accounts. When the time comes that we move in with each other we will look at our bills and budget our money. I expect him to make a bit more money than me, so I would expect him to pay a bit more of the bills.
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  • Kelsey
    Savvy September 2019
    Kelsey ·
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    Statistically speaking, married couples who treat their finances like they’re “roommates” (separate accounts, splitting bills in any way, etc) are less likely to be financially secure in their retirement and more likely to be in debt longer. When you’re married, I’d (and most financial advisors worth their salt) suggest you scrap the “his income and my income” and turn it into “our income”. His money is just as much your money as yours is his. Joint monthly budget with one total income to deduct your expenses from, all bills come out of this total income, and you each budget however much “fun” money you decide works for both of you within your budget. Big purchases over “x” amount that hasn’t been pre-budgeted for are discussed together first.
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  • Krissyl
    Devoted October 2019
    Krissyl ·
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    We decided when we got married we would have a joint account that we would each contribute X amount from our paycheck and all of "our" expenses would be from there. Since were not married but we bought a house we did this now. Our mortgage, utilities, groceries, dinner and date nights out, all of that comes out of our joint. My individual bills like car insurance, etc and any shopping I do for myself comes from my own account. We were sick of having to keep tabs on who owes what from groceries or other things from when we lived in an apartment, so the joint was the best option for us Smiley smile
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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
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    I think this is honestly different in each relationship and marriage. I’d talk about what works best for you - it may be opening account together and having all the bills come out of it. Or it could be opening an account and each of you pay bill money it. Or maybe you each want to pay selected bills! We decided to both pay money into an account and pay bills out of that. My SO covers a bit more because he had a certain set up before I moved to be with him, can get credit easier because I’m new to the country and he’s not and makes a fair bit more than me. However you end up splitting should just be comfortable and what you think is fair between you two - I don’t think there’s certain “rules”.
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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    My FH is not good at saving money so he will be writing me a check every month to put into savings and go towards the mortgage. I will still pay my car note and the other half of the mortgage and put the rest into savings. FH will pay the majority of the other small bills like electricity, phone, insurance and I will be in charge of savings.

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  • Furture Mrs. G
    Expert September 2019
    Furture Mrs. G ·
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    I have lived with my FH for 6 years (1 year dating 6 years living together). As soon as we moved in we got a bank account together and we don't necessarily share finances, his finances are mine, and mine are his. Both of our checks go into the checking and bills come out automatically.

    I know some people who have been married for 50 years and they still have separate bank accounts. I find this a little odd but, to each their own.

    It's all in how you guys want to handle the finances.

    I feel its true what they say "whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine".

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  • Devoted December 2019
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    My fiancé and I have been living together for about 2 and a half months! I now more then him, but after my massive monthly student loan payment we make about the same. We split everything 50/50. We take turns buying groceries. We haven’t combined finances. When saving for the wedding he gives me money to put in my savings account, because I’ve been the one making deposits/payments to vendors and our venue.
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  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
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    We’ve lived together for almost a year now and are getting married in 4 months. Right now we split rent and utilities down the middle, and take turns buying groceries. I call him the “fun parent” (even though we don’t have kids lol) because at first he was always getting all the junk food and good stuff and I ended up buying necessities like toilet paper, bread, and milk 🙄. We learned to communicate better about that kinda stuff though and now if I know we need something and I paid last time I let him know. Honestly I think that part of finances was the most difficult to navigate at first—it’s easy to split rent down the middle, but everyone’s idea of what to spend on groceries and other household necessities is different.
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  • Yasmine
    Dedicated November 2019
    Yasmine ·
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    Everyone is different. FH and I are about to merge our finances. We will have one primary account that our paychecks are deposited into & bills come out of, then each of us will get our ‘allowance’ (we are big on budgeting) transferred to a personal checking. Basically the same with savings.
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  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
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    We live together now, and have been for about 3 years. Until we are married, FH is responsible for the mortgage (it’s his house), has, electric, water. I pay him $1000/month towards the mortgage (we initially looked at renting an apartment and discussed what we could each afford to contribute in rent before he bought the home), I also pay for the phone, internet, and cable.

    Once we are married we will will start combining our finances, and have our $ go into the same savings accounts. We view ourselves as a team with shared goals, and it didn’t make sense to continue splitting things long term.
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    It's not a silly question! It's a practical one. There's no one answer as every situation is different.
    My fiance and I agreed that once he gets his new job we will see who makes more money (me) and calculate out whos income is what percentage of our total take home. And we will put the corresponding amount of money into a joint account to pay our bills.
    Example if I make 80% of our income, and we pay $1000 a month in expenses I'll contribute $800 a month to our account to pay bills with. Left over is mine to distribute as I want. We're transparent with what's left over and where it goes.
    I had a house and we live in it, I pay everything currently because he's a student finishing his degree. I wouldn't mind that arrangement forever but its not always practical.
    My parents have bills they divide amongst themselves and just keep tabs on who paid what and what their overall expenses and income are. I think that's the easiest.
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  • Victoria
    VIP October 2018
    Victoria ·
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    We have several bank accounts between the two of us. We have a joint checking that all household bills are paid out of. He makes more than I do so we split our mortgage 60/40, then all other bills 50/50. We each have our own checking accounts too and put in an "allowance" out of each paycheck that is our own money that we each can spend as we see fit. Then we have a few joint savings accounts that we contribute the balance of our paychecks to - we check rates here and there throughout the year and move money of we think it's worth it. These accounts are where big purchases come from, or car maintenance/repairs, home repairs, etc. Really anything that comes up that we haven't budgeted for. This works for us and allows us to be mostly debt free now, and we'll be totally debt free in the next 5-10 years, including our mortgage and his student loan paid off.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    We went to planning for financial things, after ,3 years marriage when going past first house and land around it ( right after the mortgage paid, we had paid 75 percent down. Two different planners, nothing like a second opinion. And we were advised to keep some his and hers. Because each of us has invested in buying land (me) and a woodworking shop, for a now 75 acre agricultural business ( me) and a fine furniture shop, tools, shop area, 3 small buildings on 5 acres) which would go to our business partner, not our spouse, if one of us died. And are not in a community property state. So joint purchases, family home and rental units, are jointly owned, joint labor and money built them. But we each have separate arrangements supporting one elderly relative each in an in-law apartment. Mine does lits if childcare and house and farm work. And his, though young enough, has never worked ( housewife) outside the home, and does not work, just supported in that FI pays her housing and health insurance, so her widow's pension covers other things. Where mine, saves us lots of childcare care money for 5 kids and enables me to do 5am to 9am outside or PT work by being in the house with kids the 2 days hubby is out of state weekly. . . I think having definite majority of pay in OURS household account and investment in savings, but separate priorities on what we spend for outside businesses, and supporting elderly relatives or not, has left us at greater advantage for retirement and possibility of death. And where we would have had major disagreement over some things, like supporting family members not our kids, the friction is not there, because it is the portion we call our own money that we support relatives or not, on different terms, and businesses that take separate and very different up front costs. We are rural people, not high salary earners. Provided you plan out your proportions of his and hers and much larger ours, I do not think all joint funds is any financial disadvantage long term. . . . I think for many, the long term disadvantage is not in keeping some personal and some joint funds, but in the fact that many with separarate and joint funds do not have long term planning worked out in advance, and except for a house mortgage, do not plan at all long range. So they dribble away their own money on personal indulgences, things they want short term. With our planning, we have 2-3 times the savings and investment in things whose value increases over time, than most people we know with up to double the income. And they are swimming in credit card debt, and high mortgages, where we have no debts on credit cards or loans, and put in lots of sweat equity. So, 3 years from marriage, a paid for house and 2 rental units paid for. Now 12 years in to our relationship, I see that the difference is in having a plan, and being savers who never make a major purchase without having at least 75 percent saved already. More than whether all joint, or his, hers, ours differences. I think different arrangements work as well, for different couples. And with our great disparity in come from different things, at different times, some seasonal vs salary differences, using his, hers, ours accounts can be sound financial planning.
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  • Meghan
    Super September 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Me and FH having been living together about 2.5 years now. We just divide up the bills. We split the rent evenly. He pays for electric and cable. I pay for groceries. Then we each pay our own bills like car payment, student loans, cell phones, etc. We each have our own checking accounts and then we have a joint savings account we each put money into. First it was the apartment fund. Now it's been the wedding fund.

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