House before or after wedding??

We got engaged in 2017 with the plan of buying a house in 2018 and getting married in 2020. We found and bought our dream house in July of 2018. Now our housing payments are an investment rather just a monthly expense. Serious planning for the wedding began in February (last month). I'm thrilled to be doing the planning in our own home.

Your situation is definitely different because you've already been engaged for 4 years! I'd be getting impatient myself. I'd ask him for a concrete timeline and plan for the downpayment. If he doesn't already have at least half the downpayment, I'd push to do the wedding first. It's unfair to ask a woman to marry him then not follow through for 8- 10 years.

We bought a house while dating. There are no rules to this. We didn't want to rent, it was the right time for us to buy and we ended up with a house we love. We had a home to come back to after the wedding.

But, if you are not ready and don't have the funds to afford a house, then now is not the time.

We really need to buy a house, but our timeline for that is 1 year AFTER our wedding. One big event at a time. I don't see anything wrong with waiting until after the wedding. Stick it out where you are for 2 more years...y'all can do it.

Luckily, FH and I agree on this. Neither of us want a mortgage anytime soon because we want freedom/flexibility to move if needed. I would keep renting and save for a while but that's personal preference. You can always find somewhere else to rent if you are worried about your neighbor.

I'm actually in a similar situation. FH and I have been saving for a house and planned on buying this summer after the wedding. FH has it in his head that he wants to buy NOW, three months before the wedding!!! I just keeping telling him no lol it's way too stressful and we aren't ready right now. After the wedding we will focus on getting a house.

Our wedding is October 2019 and we are currently house hunting. It is definitely a lot of stress all at once! All of our "big" wedding stuff was complete before we started looking so the wedding could go on the back burner but it's a lot to handle. There is also a lot of upfront cash needed for a house purchase (down payment, closing costs & fees, furniture, taxes etc....) so if you are already tight with paying for a wedding I would recommend staying in your rental or finding another cheap alternative that you feel safer in.

Do the wedding first. FH and I were in a rental house with super cheap rent. I felt cramped and for someone who loves to cook, our kitchen was hell. I was miserable and constantly looking for somewhere else to rent. I didn't think we financially able to buy a house.

A house right down the street from our rental put a for sale sign out so we called the number and set up a showing just for fun. The realtor really bullied us into thinking buying this house would be the best decision ever. We were really just shocked that we could get approved.

In June 2016 we were engaged

in July 2016 we closed on our new house and had a week off to move.

when I went back to work I was fired from the position I had held for 3 years due to nefarious reasons.

By August I had a new far better job (thank God) but we have struggled. oh how we have and have continued to struggle.

What we thought was a perfect and beautiful move in ready house has been an utter money pit.

I would advice to stick it out with your cheap rent situation as long as possible. Get a fire proof safe, good smoke alarms, and a good renter's insurance policy. Make sure you are good and past your wedding before you look for houses and when you do look, take your time. walk away if your gut tells you to and make sure you can afford to set at least 1% of your purchase price of the house aside every year for home repairs.

We bought a house last July, so after we got engaged but about a year before we marry. There is nothing wrong with talking to a lender (before they even run your credit). We did that with Loan Depot, they estimated what we would be approved for after I sent a rough estimate of our overall income & debt & credit scores. They told us about how much house we would get, and what our mortgage payment would be (estimating home owners insurance & property taxes & all that). If you have been planning the wedding & saving for it, I don't think it's selfish to want to spend your money on that over a house.

FH and I don't live together, but we've been house hunting while also wedding planning and I feel like I'm in over my head sometimes. I mean safety is obviously number 1, but you can certainly do both. If any of this makes sense haha. I hope so.