Hosting own Bridal Shower rsvp Contact

I wouldn't try to hide it; that doesn't make any sense to me and the truth would probably come out anyway. You're hosting; just be upfront about it. Why don't you want people to know?

Bridal showers are optional events. It's rude, self serving and inappropriate to throw your own, but you obviously know that already. Traditionally, family doesn't host either, which is probably what FMIL and FSIL were implying. If there's no one that offers to host, then it simply doesn't happen. Don't try to pass it off as someone else's party. The truth always comes out and believe me, it's not a good look or worth it.

Common advice to guests is to divide the total cost of what you want to spend on wedding gifts between shower and wedding. If there are no pre-wedding parties, people tend to be more generous with a wedding gift. Of course, that's not supposed to be your motivation or even a thought.

If you're really not in it for the gifts could you just host a bridal brunch or tea or something? Honestly it sounds more like you want a bachelorette party. Could you just invite your friends to have brunch/mani-pedis/dinner or something with you to celebrate your upcoming wedding? That may be more palatable for a lot of people!

Then just host a luncheon or a tea for your bridal party and other guests. Just don’t call it a shower. By definition a shower is about gifts.

I think you should put yourself as the RSVP contact or ask MOH if she is fine with you putting her name/number even though she isn't hosting.

Why pass such harsh judgements on people just because of some antiquated rule? If the purpose of a shower is gifts, that purpose remains the same regardless of who hosts. Either guests want to shower the bride, or they don't.

I hope you had, or have, an awesome shower! As someone with an absent mother and little family involvement, I understand how you feel. While discovering all these rules of wedding etiquette I wondered what people do when they don't have anyone to host for them. I don't see how its any different than throwing oneself a birthday party. If you are going to pay for it yourself anyway, you could still ask bridesmaids or FSIL to play hosts.

All of its optional...engagement, shower, and wedding. Guests are never truly obligated to send a gift. So if you genuinely want to shower a bride, why do you care who throws the party? If anything, throwing the party for herself is at her own expense and not on someone else's dime and efforts. How that is framed as a "gift grab" doesn't make any sense to me.

I am not worried about receiving gifts, and based on the comments neither is OP. In any occasion, it's widely agreed that it is in poor taste to attend someone's event and not send a gift. Yet, when it comes to weddings, people are quick to label brides as greedy or self serving.

I don't have birthday parties. I didn't do a graduation or housewarming party. I declined an engagement party. This is the occasion that I want to celebrate to the fullest. So if I didn't have anyone to throw it for me, I would certainly throw myself a shower.

For their part the bride and couple are not supposed to have a sense of entitlement or expectation along these lines. The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. You don’t properly include gift info on a wedding invitation or host your own gift giving party unless you want to be seen as greedy and gift grabbing. It’s not an outdated principle.

We teach little children to be grateful for whatever they may receive at a birthday party and not entitled even though gifts are considered obligatory in that situation, too.

It's not considered polite to host your own bridal shower. If you want to get together with your people, I would host a brunch for everyone and not call it a shower.

I'd invite you to have a look at the etiquette around throwing showers for yourself. It's widely frowned upon. You can have your own opinion for sure, but that doesn't make it a good idea.