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Just Said Yes December 2019

Help! Who pays for the bridal shower??

tb48, on February 5, 2018 at 8:01 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 7

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Hi hi! So, I'm new to being both a bride AND a bridesmaid and need some guidance. I'm the maid of honor in a close friend's upcoming wedding. My question is: am I expected to foot the bill of the bridal shower? HIS mother is already hosting one, and HER mother came to me telling me she wants to throw one and asked if I would help put it on with her. Of course I said yes, but I'm just wondering what the underlying responsibilities that come with this are? Are we supposed to split it 50/50? I want to open this conversation with her personally, but also don't want to come off like a pauper. My friend has a serious affinity for the finer things in life and I know will expect an elaborate shower. Mind you, I'm already planning a very expensive bachelorette party for her. HELP!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Kelli, on February 6, 2018 at 1:50 AM

VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on February 5, 2018 at 8:04 PM
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It's totally ok to tell her mom that you can afford $x towards a shower and that's that. If she wants to do more, she can pay for the rest.
Where are the other bridesmaids? They may chip in, too.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on February 5, 2018 at 8:05 PM
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You are not obligated to host or co-host a shower. If you choose to co-host with her Mom, have that discussion with her. Tell her what you can afford to spend. Does she want the BM's to also co-host? or just you?
If you or you and the BM's decide to co-host, it is her mother's obligation to stay within your budget(s)and make sure you have a say in the decision making.
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Brittany · on February 5, 2018 at 8:22 PM
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When I was a made of honor in my best friends wedding I was in the same position. I asked what I could do and so I brought ____ amount of food and ____ decorations we brainstormed together it was probably 50 50 ish but they never asked for money. She is probably being polite to include you. Just offer what u want to do and see. Usually who hosts it pays typically. But make sure you bring stuff and you'll be fine
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Just Said Yes December 2019
tb48 · on February 5, 2018 at 10:12 PM
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Thank you all for the info! This is really helpful.
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Expert September 2018
catobx · on February 5, 2018 at 11:56 PM
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Typically, the MOH's plan and pay for the shower. I planned my BFFs show rwith my co-MOH and we paid for everything, but she wanted two showers, and the second one was hosted by her FSIL's in her home state. It is not typical to have two showers, that's kind of asking a lot. When she first said two showers I kind of felt miffed. You're already paying for travel (maybe), dress, hair/MU, shoes, whatever else. So, if her mom wants to help - ACCEPT IT. Tell the mom you can pay X-amount and then move forward. I guarantee mom will pay the rest of what you cannot, especially if she is initiating this. It's a lot to ask but if you throw in a couple special touches I think it will mean more than how much you are spending on it.
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Expert August 2018
Kelli · on February 6, 2018 at 1:50 AM
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Be honest with her mom and tell her you're paying for your own wedding (if you are of course) and the dropping a lot on the bachelorette party and really can't afford much for the shower but that you will contribute as much time as you're able to. It's not your responsibility to do it.
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