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Grace
Just Said Yes October 2023

Help! Should i cancel my cursed engagement party?

Grace, on June 6, 2022 at 1:18 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 10

Hi everyone,

This is a little long so bear with me.

First, I adore my fiance and absolutely want to celebrate this milestone (our engagement) as we've been together for almost 7 years and have grown SO much since we started dating. He proposed on Christmas 2021, it was everything I wanted out of such a moment. Unfortunately, something about the proposal sent my mom into a tailspin resulting in the worst fight we have ever had. I cried myself to sleep that night. Not the way I wanted to spend my first evening engaged. This blowout with my mom kind of put the idea of hosting an engagement party out of our minds.

Fast forward to a few months ago, two of my very good friends knew about the fight and wanted to offer to plan an engagement party to make up for the less-than-perfect beginning to our engagement night. We picked a date and the invites were sent. I was happy to let my friends run with their theme/decor/food/drink ideas. Unfortunately, one of the friends who was helping to plan lost her brother very suddenly right after confirming the party details, and the other friend was suddenly asked to travel for work for an undetermined amount of time.

We completely understand that our friends' lives and careers are more important than an engagement party so we took over the planning. My sister even offered to host at her house as our apartment (800 sq ft) is way too small for 50 people. Things we going fine. Both our families and friends were happy to celebrate with us. Suddenly though, my mom and his mom were having dinner when his mom expressed hurt at not being invited. This was weird to me as we made it very clear that everyone was included and even asked if she wanted to be involved in the planning ( she did not). We smoothed things over, but I was a little hurt that she thought even for a moment that she and my fiances family might not be included in the celebration. Especially because I love them and have made a point to include them whenever possible and would never consider leaving them out.

Fast forward again to yesterday morning. I found out that my sister's oldest son has covid, meaning that the party can no longer be at her house. To top it off, she got very angry when asked about the party (something I shouldn't have done and regret now). Because we have many friends coming from out of town and summer weekends tend to get booked up very quickly, we decided that postponing isn't an option and instead will host at our apartment. We thought that with our backyard space and a mild forecast for the day of the party, we could make it work.... or so we thought.

This morning I glanced at the forecast again for the day of the party. It's supposed to rain... HARD. On top of that, we live in an area that's relatively isolated and just found out that one of two tunnels to our neighborhood will be closed on the day of the party, making travel to and from our home more complicated than usual.

So, with everything that's happened, is this party cursed? Should we cancel? Should we call an exorcist? Should we run away and elope? (engagement parties, weddings, feelings to manage to be damned?). This whole process has been unexpectedly stressful and it's only the engagement party!


Any advice or words of encouragement are welcome.

Thanks in advance!

- A very confused engagement party planner

10 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs.evans, on June 19, 2022 at 6:20 PM
  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
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    Hi Grace! So sorry to hear about everything! I did let out a little giggle at the exorcist part though. When is the party? Is all 50 guest still planning to attend with the changes? I know you mentioned having it at your place, would it be big enough for everyone, if you needed to move it inside instead of the backyard? I’d say if you can still have it at your place go ahead and do it and if it’s anything like Texas, it’ll rain for a bit and clear up rather quickly. Just be sure when you do mentioned it to your guest that there will be some tunnels blocked off and they’d need to take an alternative route. It’s better to be proactive than reactive. At least that will set the expectation for the guest prior to attending.
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  • Grace
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Grace ·
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    Thanks for the encouragement! The party is this Saturday, giving us about 6 days to regroup and replan. We live in Massachusetts and fortunately, though the forecast says 100 percent chance of rain, it's only supposed to be drizzle (apparently). We might buy a tent and offer the backyard as overflow space despite the rain. With a tent/outdoor space, it can work. If we're definitely stuck inside, it will be impossibly crowded.

    We also decided to do a potluck/order pizza, taking the burden of having to prep a large amount of food in a small space. So wish us luck! And send us good vibes that the rain won't be so bad.

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  • Grace
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Grace ·
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    I should also add that my dad, who lives in DC suddenly decided to move to the next town over from me the same weekend as the party. This would be fine (not my circus, not my monkeys) except he hasn't told my mom (his ex-wife) or my younger sister, who lives near him and has asked me to keep it a secret until after the party. My family can be volatile, and on top of everything else, I am deeply afraid of someone letting something slip and my mom having a full-on meltdown about it (it wouldn't be out of character). I desperately want to tell her before the party, but also feel like my dad is an adult and should handle his own interpersonal relationships.

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  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
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    The tent is a great option! I’d recommend rain boots in case it get too muddy, guest can have a change of shoes. I hope the rain isn’t too bad and it works out for you! Either way, I think it will be a success.
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  • PermaGrin
    Devoted June 2022
    PermaGrin ·
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    🤞 - fingers crossed for your party Grace! I am being married outdoors next Saturday in Massachusetts and I’m very thankful to have the tents but so nervous for rain!… I’ll be sending good vibes your way!
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  • Grace
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Grace ·
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    Thank you! You too! I'm sure your day will be beautiful no matter what. Rain is good luck after all, although you might be sick of hearing that.

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  • C
    Beginner June 2024
    Cristal ·
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    That is quite and interesting sequence of events. Definitely not a curse but Christmas 2021 was a strong day astrologically, Saturn square Uranus, so you just happen to be dealing with the imprint of that energy throughout your engagement. Expect the unexpected, especially from “authority/parental figures,” acts of rebellion, and impulsive behavior. So not a curse just lessons life is giving you to help you grow. I hope all goes well for your party and beyond. The tent definitely seems like a great idea.
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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Sounds like you do a lot of peacekeeping in your family. I do hope that your engagement party turns out well! Pizza and beer is fine! Throw a few salads together too. All the best to you.

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  • Grace
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Grace ·
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    Interesting! Thanks for the insight. Both my and my fiance's parents have certainly surprised us recently.

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  • Grace
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Grace ·
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    I think you might be right! We're definitely just embracing the chaos now and turning it into a much more low-key event.

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  • Mrs.evans
    Rockstar October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Hello Grace first off I want to congratulate you on your engagement. Second I am so sorry that all of these events have tooken place from your mother's reaction. No who that just have wonderful thing to have happened to make your sad. When its supposed to be a happy time then with all of these all of sudden bomb that have dropping. But I don't think that you should cancel but with the short notices. I'm not really sure if a spot can commandate of night of a event. I hope that you were able to find something and rest of your wedding planning goes without any problems. I have had some similar issues since I have been engaged but I am still keeping my fingers crossed and that the rest of my wedding planning keep going well we are almost at the finish line. I pray that you have a great party
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