Help! Destination Wedding tips

You really have a couple of options:

1. Keep things extremely simple. The ideal would be a venue that will supply you with absolutely everything, including officiant, food and alcohol, cake, flowers, decorations, DJ, dance floor, hair and make-up, and photographer. We didn't go quite that far, but we used a synagogue for the ceremony and a restaurant for the reception (which was lunch only, no dancing), so we weren't having to deal separately with venue, caterers, rentals, etc. We used Teleflora to pick out bouquets and a bout, and then called the local Teleflora site to order them by item number. We found a photographer and a hair and make-up person on Craigslist. We had very minimal decorations, to avoid the hassle of transporting them.

2. Hire a local planner in the area. The cost of the planner is likely to be less than the cost of going there yourself to check things out. And they probably know about cost savings that you couldn't easily find without going there, which will save you more than their fees. If your wedding isn't extremely simple, this is going to be a necessity.

Another option is finding a place that's all inclusive so that you're just paying them to do everything for you

Consider costs for your guests. Typically, flight & hotel for Hawaii is expensive. You may get a high decline rate if the guest list is much more than immediate family & friends. Work with a travel agent or your wedding resort to get a great deal for your guests, consider off-season. Think of them first.

For a DW, extra hosting by the couple is generally good etiquette because of the high costs for guests to attend. Consider hosting a welcome dinner (even if just pizza and beer). I’d suggest paying for your BM/GM’s attire, or help with their travel costs. At one DW I attended, the couple paid for our first night at the hotel, a welcome night dinner, and a buffet breakfast—not everyone can afford to do that but it’s a nice idea.

My resort offered packages that included all of the basics but it is all-inclusive so it's less than if I had done the same thing at a regular venue. Only some people will be able to afford to come so maybe get some quotes and find out how many are likely to come. Then you can start planning!