Im basically just venting but I also want to know if this has happened to anyone else
I had this friend for over 15 years. If I got something she had to have it too. If I wanted something and told her she would get it first and act like she had no clue. I look back now and realized even though I was a good friend to her she wasn’t a good friend to me. She would always give me questionable advice and act like it was the right way. She would criticize my life any chance she could.
Ok so to start off I got engaged and got a ring that is a replica of both my moms and grandmas rings which are special to me because I liked the idea of keeping that tradition going it is my dream ring, keep this in mind. Next I booked my venue and as soon is I showed my friend she wanted it so badly even though she had already showed me the one she wanted and she had even told me I couldn’t have that one (she wasn’t even engaged at this point and there are TONS of other venues around us.) I told her I didn’t want our weddings to be the same or at the same place preferably she sulked but said she agreed. We agreed together not to use each others ideas at all, keep in mind. Next she gets engaged to a guy she’s known for maybe 6 months, (I know time is not what determines a lasting relationship but this guy was odd and she even agreed to that herself so it made it seem like she just settled because she wanted what I had yet again but if she was happy so was I!) a few months after I got engaged she knew her whole engagement plan down to the day and time and place it was happening because “she doesn’t like surprises” but I was still ECSTATIC for her she got her “dream ring” she had told me all about as well, it was completely opposite of mine, keep that in mind. Also she told me how she threw a fit because he couldn’t afford the same size center stone as me and made him buy a bigger one. Anyways our plans started out completely different. Not one thing was the same but next thing she tells me she wants to do pink and white for her colors so I completely cut pink out of my plans (I only planned on a tiny bit of pink anyways) because I wanted her to have her dream wedding and me to have mine I used the other colors that I loved and was planning for anyways, next thing I know she’s changed her colors to mine with some pink added. I was mad but didn’t make a big deal out of it. I planned on using a certain photographer for years and next thing I know she’s telling me she booked her? And for my bridal shower I picked a specific place and the next week she told me she booked it for hers too and she cried in the middle of a restaurant when I was mad? Things began getting tense as slowly her wedding became the exact same as mine as she continued to change all of her ideas to my ideas, so I said “please stop using every idea I tell you” she basically said “ok” and I expected things to change but it just got worse. When I chose my dress she chose one that is the exact same, same fabric, color, sleeves, shape, everything, it looked identical. I was pissed but didn’t get mad because I wanted her to have her dream too, she said “We are best friends so some things are going to be alike“ But it’s was not just “some things” it was EVERY SINGLE THING THE SAME, it had never been like this before she always had her own style but now that I was planning my wedding her style became just like my style and I don’t get why that was just now happening, her style has always been girly, traditional and pink and mine is very modern and edgy with lots of black. she never decorated like me until now? I know copying is supposed to be flattering but it got on my nerves because it was like I was planning her wedding for her using my own wedding ideas. She even tried to take our first dance song (it’s not a common song at all) and maybe she did, I wasn’t there. She ended up telling me at one point that she had “always been jealous of my relationship with my fiancé” in a serious but jokey way and that made me start seeing that maybe we weren’t like sisters at all and it freaked me out. The next week she texted me saying how she felt she couldn’t plan her wedding around me and we had a falling out even though her “planning” was using ALL of my ideas? Fast forward to our weddings and hers is identical to mine.. she cut out pink and used my same exact colors, she had the same veil as the one I showed her I was using, same dress, she switched her bridesmaids dresses to the same style and color as mine and her tuxes to the same as mine, same flowers, the exact same backdrop at the reception AND she even changed her RING to the EXACT SAME one as me, I’m not kidding it’s identical! .... our wedding were identical and she has never liked my style until now. Am I crazy to think she was way out of line / crazy? Or am I wrong? Has anyone else ever gone through this?
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