Has anyone ever stopped living with their so before marriage

I wouldn't be able to justify paying for rent/furniture/utilities/etc. when I had a perfectly acceptable place to live just because a pastor said so. Stay strong in your faith and make God central to your relationship and He will bless you, whether or not you live together.

I can see why your pastor recommended that, and I believe there is probably some truth to it. It wouldn't of worked for my situation though, because we have kids pre-marriage. It does sound like it'd be a fun experiment though. Not sure how it would work logistically though with added expenses etc. I don't think it's completely worth ruling out, but I also think it'd be justifiable why you wouldn't be able to do it too.

Hello! We are getting married in the church. So far no one has told us to move out but they have suggested we abstain from sex. I will say - it is probably the hardest but best thing we've done! We have been sleeping together for 7 years, and then one night we decided to stop. We talk every night about how excited we are to come together on our wedding night and I can't even put into words the feeling it's given me. We have become even closer than I would have thought, and it made me realize that when we're married, if anything were to get in the way of our sex life, whatever it may be it would not cause us any problems. It's like we are building up so much kinetic energy and I know it will be explosive on our wedding night. Way worth it and way more doable than it seems.

I would definitely not move out. Try abstaining from sex.

Surely y'all are going to a pastor for counseling out of trust in his counsel, right?

Well he has offered you an opportunity to gain what he says would be much nourishment for your future marriage, but it is at the cost of your current pleasures--so you're doubting it.

I get it. Looking to the future is quite difficult. Really, it is; We only live in this instance, it's give me what I want, when I want it. Looking to the past, (to those with a long happy marriage) is also difficult as it is a lost art.

Please consider that a marriage already has so much against it these days, and that it's okay to do all you can to give yourselves a better chance at a long, happy, successful home and life together---even if others baulk at it.

As I'm replying, (actually I got distracted for a while but, anyways...) only one of the seven pp was actually technically "qualified" to answer your specific question from personal experience, and her opinion sided with your Pastor's! Smart gal- IMHO. I am also just weighing in, with my opinion, as I too am among those not qualified to answer your specific question--out of personal experience, as we were a virgin bride and groom. However, I've been married a while now and have seen many marriages crash and burn because of stupid things which grew in them from a seed of doubt and a seed of mistrust between husband and wife.

SO I just want to encourage you to take your Pastor's advice seriously. I want to encourage you to respect the institution of marriage. What I mean by that is; Do you expect your fiancé to forsake all others right now today? Of course you do, because you're in a sexual relation with him--he's your's! How about when he becomes your husband? Will you still expect him to forsake all others? Yes--even more so, right - because you two are married. But yet right now, neither one of you are respecting the bounds of marriage because you're having sex with someone you're not married too.

I know you can't see or hear me, but I'm saying this as graciously and lovingly as I can while still being honest and truthful. I wish to help you understand from a vantage point not your own.

You don't see it now but your 'disrespect for marriage' is building mistrust between you two and you will be taking that into your new life together. Follow me here..... A new wife thinks to herself, "My husband would never cheat on me--he loves me, we're married." But deep down she knows that he was willing to have an ongoing sexual relationship with someone to whom he was not married to--her, before they were married! A husband, deep down, will feel the same towards his wife, although neither may be able to articulate it. It is so hard to see it but it truly is poison to a marriage and this is what your Pastor is trying to detox from your relationship before your wedding day.

Whether one wants to believe it or not, the boundaries of marriage apply to those outside a marriage just as much as they apply to those inside a marriage. I hope that what I've said helps you better understand what your Pastor is getting at with his suggestion and I wish you and your fiancé both much wisdom, happiness and a long beautiful marriage.

No, I haven't done it. We wouldn't even be apart the day we got married or the night before. We felt that it would be very odd for us. We wanted to be together.

To each their own, but I personally do not agree with the pastor. You do you, though.

I'm a pagan so I have different beliefs, but even I would have to say, if God is so all mighty he's not going to care about something like this. I would think he would care more about your happiness and love/care for one another then anything else. Living together wouldn't change that. Good luck!

Personally, I think that the moving out part is ridiculous. In today's society that is very hard to do once you have combined lives, and really can only add more stress to your day to day lives. Planning a wedding is stressful, and puts pressure on your relationship - a test prior to marriage. If anything, I would say give up sex a month or two before the wedding, and let that build. You still have your emotional intimacy, and working together in life as a team, and then you will get that reward when it's all done