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Beginner April 2019

Gifts included with rsvp

Courtney, on March 17, 2019 at 1:23 AM Posted in Registry 0 5

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So my fiancé and myself have asked for our family and friends to gift us a monetary donation towards us doing ivf after our wedding rather then a physical gift as we have also lived together for the last 5 years and do not need physical house accessories or unnecessary items etc. We included information on our website and also informed our guests that there will be an area set up on our wedding day for those who would like to give a monetary gift. However we have received serveral rsvp’s in the mail with their monetary gifts included.

Is it normal for guests to include their gift with their rsvp? If not, why do you think they have chosen to do this instead of giving it to us on our wedding day, say in an envelop with a card? I feel strange receiving our wedding gift before we’ve even got married. We obviously appreciate their enthusiasm to help towards our cause but we also feel awkward seeing their gift before we have even got married.

What do do you guys thinks about this?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Courtney, on March 17, 2019 at 8:26 PM

Devoted January 2019
Nicole · on March 17, 2019 at 1:33 AM
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You didn’t feel awkward about asking for money for IVF? And you don’t think it’s odd to have a donation station set up at your wedding? You would have been better saying that you weren’t registered anywhere and then your guest would have took the hint and probably would have brought a card with a check or something in it to the wedding.
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VIP May 2015
KiwiDerbyBride · on March 17, 2019 at 2:12 AM
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I would think it’s probably that they have heard stories of money in cards going missing from weddings (sadly it does happen) and so in order to make sure it got to you safely, posted it with the RSVP.
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VIP July 2018
AQuixoticBride · on March 17, 2019 at 2:52 AM
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It is common for people to gift before the wedding. I got gifts even from people who attended the wedding several months beforehand. Just send a thank you note as soon as possible.
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on March 17, 2019 at 11:54 AM
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Traditionally, people were not supposed to bring gifts to the wedding. The thought was that the couple might be leaving immediately for their honeymoon, and gifts might get lost if they had to be hastily dealt with between the reception and the honeymoon. So gifts were supposed to be sent to the couple's home before or after the wedding.
As others have said, you really shouldn't be asking for money. Just have a small registry, and people will get the idea. (And for those who specifically ask, you can say, "We really have all the household stuff we need, so we're just saving up for IVF," which definitely gives them the hint.) However, for those who do send you gifts (money or otherwise) before the wedding, just cash the checks and send the thank-you notes now.
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Beginner April 2019
Courtney · on March 17, 2019 at 8:26 PM
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A gift is a gift no matter what form it is in whether it is asking for a new coffee machine on a target registry or a monetary gift to help with a very special cause. I personally think asking people to buy us a new DVD player or curtains etc on a registry is more rude then asking for a small donation to us starting a family. All our family and friends are actually very excitedly to help contribute to our cause and especially knowing they are helping us create a very special gift, a baby. Just my opinion though.
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