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Savvy May 2022

Friend sent me her registry but

Dandelion Fluff, on July 6, 2022 at 3:21 PM Posted in Registry 0 14

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A friend just had a baby shower. She sent me the registry link months before her shower, and I immediately bought things for her from her registry. I was engaged at the time and had already sent out my save the date cards with the wedding website on them. The registry is on the website. We talked a little about the registries and she asked me to send her the link in text so she could just click on it. I did. Now I'm married and having a hard time understanding why she didn't use my registry. They came to the wedding, used the bridal suite as a nursery without asking, and didn't bring a gift or a card. Yes, I know the gift isn't important. I haven't said anything to her about any of this. I just want to understand why she sent me her registry, knowing full well I had a registry of my own, if she never intended to use mine. How do I proceed from here?

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Latest activity by Jacks, on July 27, 2022 at 12:42 AM

VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on July 6, 2022 at 4:41 PM
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Gifts are not reciprocal or mandatory and while I personally as a gift giver find it odd that she consciously sent you her registry and came empty handed to your wedding, there really is nothing to proceed with.

Brush it off and move on.
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on July 6, 2022 at 5:26 PM
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Are you asking us for a quick-witted way of saying "where's MY gift?" I guess you can ask her if the poopy diaper she left in your honeymoon suite was her well wishes for your marriage. Guests have 1 year to gift, and gifting is optional.
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Super October 2023
Alyssa · on July 6, 2022 at 5:27 PM
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We all know gifts arent mandatory but, I think it's weird that she asked you for the link specifically then didn't get anything. Are you sure they didn't try and order something to ship to you, was that an option? It could have been lost.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle Online · on July 6, 2022 at 5:34 PM
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Some people were never taught manners and others don’t care. There is nothing you can do at this point. Decide whether it is worth ending a friendship over or chalk it up to her not knowing any better and move on. Gifts are never reciprocal.
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Jm Sunshine · on July 6, 2022 at 6:01 PM
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It sounds like she had every intention of giving you a gift...maybe she even thought she did and forgot (babies have a way of changing one's focus and sleep deprivation is no joke).
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Savvy May 2022
Dandelion Fluff · on July 6, 2022 at 7:27 PM
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No, I'm autistic and trying to understand "normal people."
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Savvy May 2022
Dandelion Fluff · on July 6, 2022 at 7:29 PM
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I'm sure. The registry we used shows if something was purchased and gives the buyer the option of mailing it to us or to their address.
I'm just confused and trying to see if this is normal for people to do.
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Savvy May 2022
Dandelion Fluff · on July 6, 2022 at 7:32 PM
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I have wondered if some people really don't know better. I know some people just don't care. I'm at a point where I feel used by quite a few people, and I'm ready to walk away. I give because it makes me happy to know they're happy, but people take advantage.
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Super October 2023
Alyssa · on July 7, 2022 at 5:59 AM
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Neurotypical. None of us are normal 😂
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Super June 2021
Bird · on July 7, 2022 at 9:51 AM
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I was one of those people that “didn’t know better” and years and years later I realized I should have done things differently.

On another note, I had a cousin and his wife attend our wedding and they didn’t bring a card (or monetary gift.) also my best friend came and didn’t bring a card or gift.

I sent thank you notes to both of them, thanking them for coming to our wedding and celebrating with us and being there for us on our wedding day.

After receiving her thank you card, My best friend THEN sent us a gift in the mail. She clearly forgot.

You are correct in wondering if this could be normal especially since she asked you specifically for your registry link. I agree with a previous post that maybe she totally forgot because of her new baby. Good luck
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Savvy May 2022
Dandelion Fluff · on July 7, 2022 at 10:37 AM
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That's the truth! 😆
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Savvy May 2022
Dandelion Fluff · on July 7, 2022 at 10:40 AM
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Thank you for that explanation. I'm not mad or anything, just really confused.
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Expert October 2023
Bailey · on July 26, 2022 at 1:54 PM
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Omg same. I used to never buy gifts....I just didn't realize it was etiquette in my early 20's. Now, I ALWAYS buy a gift especially if I'm attending.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on July 27, 2022 at 12:42 AM
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Yeah, it sounds like something that you should just let go. I get your confusion though. Some people just don't follow through.
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Friend sent me her registry but

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