Follow Up Post

Have you guys attended couples counseling or have you attended counseling solo? Reading your previous posts, it sounds like your husband has issues setting boundaries with this friend. That’s an issue you have to address in your marriage, especially if it’s causing emotional turmoil for you each time she calls.

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He thinks I need to speak with a counsel because I'm struggling with others being pregnant when I'm not. I've recently taken a break from Facebook because I was getting upset every time someone posted that they were expecting.

I think taking a break from social media is a smart thing. You’ll be less stressed seeing everyone else. Have you tried ovulation strips? What did your gyno say to do?

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Yes, I have taken ovulation tests. My gyno has me taking ovulation medicine once a month for a week then we are supposed to have sex every other day for a week. He wants to me take the medicine for six months. It's been three so far. If we don't conceive during those six months, he is going to recommend that I see a fertility specialist. First, he had to get my periods regular which happened about three months ago. Prior to three months ago, I wasn't having periods without taking medicine to induce them.

View Quoted Comment What about your iron? Weight? My friend has been trying since the beginning of the year and her doctor told her she needed to take iron supplements and has to gain weight. She bought some tea that supposedly helps with getting pregnant, She finally purchased ovulation strips, but I haven’t heard back in about a week. This is my first month off of birth control, we haven’t tried to actively try yet - just having fun.


Try to remove yourself from social media, and find a hobby or something that will keep your mind off of the matter. Your body could be stressed out from it all so you need to busy your mind with something else.

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I had blood work done that checked everything. The doctor has me taking vitamin D because it was low. I am also taking some other medicine that is supposedly helpful for getting pregnant. I have been taking prenatal vitamins for about a year as well. As for my weight, I was trying to lose weight because he recommended losing weight, but with the gyms being shut down because of Covid that has been difficult. I was walking a lot, but with it being so hot that has been impossible.

View Quoted Comment Yeah it’s been too hot!


We have been working out towards the end of the day. So we run Monday’s and Thursday’s. And then he does weights while I do yoga tuesdays and fridays. We go on walks after running and yoga/weights. Saturday’s and Sunday’s I typically choose one to do yoga depending on how sore I am.
I paid 24$/year for downdog yoga app. Try that, they have other workout apps that are covered when you pay. My gyno told me I needed to be more active because pre-covid I always sat in front of the computer. Also, that downdog app has a pregnancy yoga version which is why I chose it. And the low cost deal was too hard to pass up. Try that!

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That sounds fun! Thanks

I totally understand... we have been struggling to get pregnant for almost a year, and we are actually starting our first IVF cycle on Sunday.


How long have you been trying? Have you gone to a reproductive endocrinologist or had any testing done? From what I’ve heard and experienced, if it feels like it’s taking “too long,” (like, more than 3-6 months) there usually is something wrong, unfortunately. But luckily science has gotten far enough that we still have other options to have children.

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We technically started trying the day we got married as I should've been ovulating because I had my period the week before and I was no longer on birth control. After coming off my birth control, I didn't have periods for nine months without using medicine to induce them. I had a ton of blood work and an ultrasound done. The first gyno I saw claimed there was only one small cyst on my ovary. After looking at a report he received from the radiologist I saw the report said something completely different so I went to a different gyno who has been amazing. He is the one that ordered the blood work. He was able to diagnosis me with PCOS. I had never had issues with my period prior to going on birth control or while I was on it so I was totally shocked that I was having issues coming off of it. I started getting regular periods about three months ago. Once I month, I am taking ovulation medicine. I have been on that for about three months. He wants me to stay on it for six months and if I don't get pregnant during that time he is going to refer me to a fertility specialist.

I am so sorry that you are going through this and is understandably painful to others achieving something that is a bit harder for you. i would spend some time paying special attention to yourself, your mental wellness, self care and connecting with your body. doing work that will help you face fears and challenges. i also recommend yoni steaming if you haven't heard of it i def suggest researching a finding a good practitioner that can help guide you.

View Quoted Comment It sounds like fun, it’s been tough trying to not be lazy haha :p


Try not to think about others and focus on yourself and your SO. Easier said than done, but remove all of the things that make you negative. Focus on those positive things!

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I have eliminated social media which was causing a ton of negativity for me. His best friend constantly calling is also a source of negativity since she is currently pregnant. I'm not sure how to get past my feelings about her. I have never liked her or the fact that she constantly calls my husband, but it has been made worse now that's pregnant.

Fertility issues are damning and so detrimental. I am very sorry for you and your husband. I wish you luck in this journey. I think it might be good to tell your husbands friend what you’re going through and ask her not to share it with anyone. This might limit calls and what she shares with you both which may be helpful. It also might be good to pursue therapy for yourself so you can learn skills to cope with the stress and heartbreak. I hope things work out for you.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, she isn't someone I would trust with such a sensitive subject matter. Most people in my husband's life including myself can't stand her because she's manipulative, backstabbing, and rude. She also loves to gossip.

View Quoted Comment Maybe your husband needs to limit communication with her. She doesn’t sound like someone you both need in your life. You need time to focus on yourself and processing this experience. Take care of you.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! He's asked her before not to call so much, but she doesn't listen.

As far as your husband's relationship with his best friend, it's nice that he seems willing to stop talking to her if you need him to, but that's probably not the best solution here. This is something that he's going through, too and it's good for each of you to have someone outside of your marriage (friend/relative/therapist) that you can talk to especially when you're going through something difficult, so you are not each other's only support system.
For now though, hearing your husband talking on the phone to his friend feels traumatic for you, so maybe you can come to a compromise until it's easier for you to handle this. Would you be okay with him texting her but not calling? What if they scheduled a time to talk so at least you're not surprised by her call and you can choose to be somewhere else when it happens?

View Quoted Comment That makes sense. The fertility specialist will probably be able to help you get pregnant if it doesn’t work before then. Maybe just take comfort knowing you have a plan?

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So tell him to stop answering everytime she calls.