fmil is inviting too many people to the shower...help!

I completely understand where you're coming from, but I think I would let this go if she's hosting it herself. You could try to mention to her how you wouldn't feel comfortable inviting people to bring you gifts that you barely know, but if she fights you on it I think I would just tough it out.

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That's what I'm thinking too. I was hoping my FH will say something but he is so laid back and a very big momma's boy so I can't imagine he will say anything. I guess I'll just wear comfortable shoes so I'm able to walk and mingle

Who is paying for the shower?

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My FMIL and her sister's which is why I think I should just suck it up.

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My FMIL and her sister's which is why I think I should just suck it up.

Typically, the bride is in charge of the guest list for the shower. I would ask her to narrow it down, but if this is something she feels strongly about, I wouldn't push it for fear of looking ungrateful.

I think it's fine to decline any offer to throw you a shower, but once you accept their offer, you pretty much need to go with whatever choices the host makes, including who to invite (unless they want to invite people not invited to the wedding!). From her perspective, she probably wants the shower to be a chance for you to meet these people before the wedding. Just paste on your best smile and make small talk.

I agree with Caytlyn that nowadays, the bride usually has some say in the guest list for the shower. But I am also old school, and it is traditional to invite all or most of the females invited to the wedding. That's no big deal with a wedding my size (about 75 total guests), but for a guest list your size, I think there can be exceptions made.

Talk to FMIL about your anxiety about being the center of attention. This might actually help you, though, as a practice for the big day. You will definitely be the center of attention that day, and having met a lot of the previously unknown women at the shower, you might feel more comfortable at the wedding. Just a thought. But I think you need to suck it up.

I would just let her invite everyone since she is hosting. I promise, all 75 women won't come. People are much less likely to go to the shower then the wedding, but they may send a gift. It's also a great opportunity for you to mingle with guests and guests mingle with each other before the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yeah in that case I’d just deal with it! Seems like she’s trying to be really nice and generous with it. Not everyone will go anyway and you’ll probably get a ton of gifts lol. Just try to enjoy it and let her take care of it.

I say let her do it! That's really nice of her to do that for you and to plan it out. If you or anyone else in your family doesn't have to pay for it, I would let her take the role. You get to feel special because it is all about you plus you get gifts to help you start your married life off right.

I am in the same boat as you! The good thing is is that everyone knows you, that's half the battle. Everyone will be so excited to celebrate you so it should not be as awkward as you think. Good luck!