Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

AshleeC423
VIP April 2017

Feeling left out

AshleeC423, on June 9, 2018 at 12:17 AM Posted in Married Life 0 21
Saved
Reply
I'll start out by explaining that my husband has "boys night" every Friday. I feel like it's slowly turned from "boys" night to "get away from my wife night". Tonight was the cherry on top when I'm on Snapchat and see all the snap stories and Snapchats of his whole family over at his mom's. Both my sister and brother in laws and their 1 year old daughter, my niece and my son's cousin. My mother in law sent me a video of them playing a game. Not once did anyone think to ask me to come. Not either of my sister in laws. Not either of my brother in laws. Not my mother in law, and not my husband. I replied to the video my MIL sent me saying "I like how Chris's boys night turns into family night and we're (son and I) not invited." Then a couple minutes later I get a text from my husband telling me to come over. Um no, you're only saying that because your mom said something to you and you don't want to fight. He's been there for 4 hours, plenty of time for him, or anyone else, to invite me. Maybe I'm being overdramatic, I'm not sure. Just needed to vent. I got married to have a partner and not feel alone but I'm feeling a hell of a lot of loneliness right now.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Future Mrs. S, on July 12, 2018 at 4:58 PM
  • Swtnss238
    VIP May 2019
    Swtnss238 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    U have every right to feel what ur feeling. Im so sorry. They r dead wrong!!
    • Reply
  • Future mrs.whitman
    Devoted October 2018
    Future mrs.whitman ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Im sorry this is happing to you. But i would be upset as well. Though i do have to ask is how close are you with them all? Cause if you are all close i dont understand why no one wouldnt tell you about or even invite you. I think that's just plain rude in any way shape or form.
    • Reply
  • AshleeC423
    VIP April 2017
    AshleeC423 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    All of us are close (or at least I thought we were). We all live within 10 miles of each other and spend time together weekly. We have game nights, go to dinner, spend time at MIL house or our house, and go bowling all the time.
    • Reply
  • Kim
    Devoted September 2018
    Kim ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm so sorry - I'd be hurt! So he goes over there, no one invites you, and then they send a video?? It just seems tone-deaf or maybe there was a miscommunication? I would definitely talk to DH and clear the air. Or talk it through with a counselor who can be an impartial 3rd party.
    I think every Friday night is excessive too - especially if you are home with your son (I'm assuming very young?). Do you go out once a week as well? Maybe it's time to get a sitter and have dinner with just the two of you.

    • Reply
  • AshleeC423
    VIP April 2017
    AshleeC423 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My son is 3 and no I don't go out every week. I go out with friends maybe once a month. And my husband and I do go on a couple dates a month by ourselves, just the two of us. I'm just hurt that out of 6 people.. including my husband..Not one person asked me to go over (MIL house is 5 minutes away). Not a "hey were playing games at mom's if you wanna come" from my husband. Not a "bring my grandson over here" from MIL. Nothing from anyone. That is of course until I started replying to everyone's videos and pictures being petty because I wasn't invited. It's not like there have been any issues between me and anyone either. Sooo idk. But I'm sure everyone will think I'm overreacting but it's not them being left out.
    • Reply
  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Personally, I would have saved the comment for when he got home, but I get why you were mad. Did he tell you where he was going? Did he just end up there or did he plan to go without you? I ask because the exclusion may not have been purposeful. He may have thought you were happy chilling at home and wanted your own time. Any which way, you should tell him how you feel and talk it through.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    That would sting!

    it can be tough when couples have different ideas of alone/friend time. Maybe time for a chat on what works for both of you? I like boy time/girl time. It would be ok periodically if it fell on a weekend but I’d prefer a weekday. I’d love to chill with my girlfriends more than I do (we’re all spread out now)! Maybe you can schedule a weekly class, massage, girls’ night out when he has guys’ night?
    • Reply
  • AshleeC423
    VIP April 2017
    AshleeC423 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    He's home now and he's saying that I'm always welcome and that I should have just came over and I don't need an invitation. I'm not one to just show up and I'm not going to ask if I can come. If he wanted me there he could have pulled out his phone. Out of the 3 brothers him and I have been together the longest, 8 years vs 4 years and 3 years of my in laws so it bothers me even more that I'm the one that feels excluded.
    • Reply
  • Felisha
    Dedicated May 2019
    Felisha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Was it something that was planned or was it something that just kind of happened? I know how you are feeling but don’t dwell on it a whole lot it is wasn’t something that was planned. Tell him your feelings and just tell him next come get us or call and say hey everyone is here.
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated July 2018
    Karen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    That really sucks. I’d be hurt. Talk to him.
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Expert May 2018
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I get chest pain just reading this. I definitely understand why you’re feeling hurt, I would too.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would have been so upset. I read this to my fh and he agreed. Not okay. Im sorry you are dealing with this. Maybe the two of you could speak to a therapist. It might help him to here it from an outsider, with a professional unbiased opinion
    • Reply
  • Kaye
    VIP October 2018
    Kaye ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My feelings would definitely be hurt. Does he have a weekly date night with you? Seems like that should be a priority as well.
    • Reply
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    The only person you should be upset with his your husband. HE didn't include you. Who knows what excuse he gave the others about why you weren't there. Does he not understand that all get togethers and invitations are now for the both of you?

    • Reply
  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would talk with your hubby. The family may have thought you had known about it and chose to stay home. I am thinking if you mother in law sent you a video she was not trying to keep it from you. Yes I would be hurt.
    • Reply
  • Mrscolón
    Super September 2019
    Mrscolón ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would feel the same way you are! That is a little crazy to me that his boy night turned into family night and he never thought to mention it. Was this his original plan or was it a spur of the moment, stop by to say hi then stay? I think the difference between the two would be big for me. My FH always says to me that I don't "need an invite" to certain places, like a friend's house he is always at, but I am NEVER the type to just show up. Did his mom ever respond back to you after you said something, or was it just him sending a message because she obviously told him?

    • Reply
  • AshleeC423
    VIP April 2017
    AshleeC423 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It was more spur of the moment/it just kinda happend sorta thing, but still. I will say that earlier on in the night when I drove past MIL house I stopped to say hi after going to the store (her house is in the neighborhood across from mine and I literally drive past her house to get to and from Walmart). My husband was there then with one set of my in laws but I didn't know if it was a pit-stop kind of thing or if they were going to stay there for a while. So when my husband got home he said that since I stopped there earlier that he thought I would come back if I had wanted to. Which I guess sort of makes sense but it still would have been nice for him to be like "hey, I'm still at my moms and David and Jamie just got here, we're gonna play games if you want to come join us." We talked when he got home and he said next time he would call or text me. I'm still sad though.

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Super September 2018
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I totally get where your coming from! i would kindly discuss it with your husband, but maybe try to do a girls night when he has his guys night, so your not sitting home feeling lonely! hope it gets better love!

    • Reply
  • T
    Devoted October 2019
    Tiffany ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    This. So much this. I understand perfectly how you feel. FHs friends are all just drop by kinda people and Im not. The way I grew up I could never just drop by. I would always feel like I was intruding if I did. Sometime FH still forgets to just tell me im invited to something, expecting me to just drop in. Im sorry. You are very justified in how you feel.
    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted June 2019
    Mrs.V2Be ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    So sorry you are/were feeling hurt. In my situation, we would be having a major come to Jesus talk and it would be made clear exactly what I expect, need, and want. It's rude behavior. I wouldn't appreciate the "guy's night" EVERY Friday either. My own personal opinion.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

25 Gifts for Your Stepmom That'll Make Her Feel Extra Special
Relatives 25 Gifts for Your Stepmom That'll Make Her Feel Extra... Scratching your head on your hunt for the perfect stepmom gift? We've got you....
Holidays Feel Like a Hassle? Here's How to Split Them Peacefully
Married Life Holidays Feel Like a Hassle? Here's How to Split Them... We promise you can keep your mom—and your mother-in-law—happy!
What to Do If You're Feeling Alone in Your Marriage
Married Life What to Do If You're Feeling Alone in Your Marriage If you're feeling alone in your marriage, you're not, well, alone. Here, experts...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics