Engagement Party... Is it really necessary?

It's not necessary but if you want it or someone wants to throw one, go for it.

Agree with above.

View Quoted Comment A family member wants to throw it. I just feel like it’s a waste of money.

View Quoted Comment I can agree with you ladies. I just feel like it’s a waste of money.

View Quoted Comment Have you expressed this to the family member? What does your partner think about it? My husband and I would probably feel the same way as you but if someone insisted, we'd probably cave haha

View Quoted Comment He agrees with me. I feel like we’re caving because of all the excitement that’s coming from our family.

View Quoted Comment That's a tough one really. You guys feel this way but also don't want to offend I'm assuming. I have some family that I could flat out tell them thanks but slow your roll and others where it's just best to go along with everything because they will take things out of context or hold a grudge otherwise. Not an easy situation. Are you thinking of having some other kind of party? Maybe you can ask and enlist this family member's efforts for that instead. Might make you both feel better and the family member can still be excited/involved in planning something more relevant to you?

Not necessary but if someone wants to host it for you, it's nice

View Quoted Comment If the party happens it won’t be until October of this year. We’re getting married Oct. 2020 and my cousin who is my wedding planner gave us the idea. It is really hard to tell her and the rest of my family “No” because I’m the first one in my family to get married. I just want my fiancé and I to be happy with our choices while not leaving out our loved ones.

View Quoted Comment I get where you and the other ladies are coming from. My family is happy but I want my fiancé and I to also be comfortable with the decisions that are made throughout the planning.

You asked me what I thought and I told you. For future new topics, it helps us give more useful thoughts, and if you want it, advice if you tell us details like that up front. If your concern is that you want your input considered and it may not be, then you could try to say something like "Thank you so much for offering to host a party for us. We talked about it and if we agree, we wonder if it's possible for us to collaborate with you on the planning?" Typically, if someone is spending their own money in hosting a party for you and you accept, your not technically supposed to be asking for or restricting things, but times are more relaxed now and I think it you come across as collaborative versus combative that goes a long way. If they agree, tell them what your concerns are, but if not, then politely let them know that you and FH decided against the party, but come up with another reason so as not to offend.

Congrats
Not necessary. There's so many pre wedding events that not all of them are needed

View Quoted Comment I hope you can find a balance! The party could be fun

Our wedding is April 2020 and just this past weekend we did kind of like an engagement cookout at our home and invited our parents and wedding party as a way for everyone to get to know each other because some of my girls have never met some of his guys and so on. It was a great day, kid friendly and everyone just had a good time. Nothing over the top just a nice get together with simple food and drinks. I think if your fam/planner wants to have one for you that’s great, if you’re worried about the money tell them to keep it casual and save that money for the shower and bachelorette party 🎉

No. I didn't have one.
But, with that said I am sad we didn't. I
wabted to have the Engagement Party, Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party but I doubt I will. 😥😞☹️
In part its the fact I don't have many close female friends and then my age, 41, so it seems "immature" to have them- according to FMIL & a couple other people. But, this is my First wedding/marriage soooooooo..... why shouldn't I have all the things that are tradition, or new tradition?!?

I personally didn’t have an engagement party and don’t feel like I missed out anything, but around here it also not very common. I just announced it on social media because in this day and age it was easier and free 😂

For all the “pre” parties, two friends treated me & my mom to a bridal brunch shower, which was perfect. I was ok not having more or inviting busy friends to more stuff.

In your case... what if you see this as a way for your families to show their excitement and plan the kind of party they want for you? Hopefully, that’ll keep them out of your hair for the wedding? My hubby & I have very small families (him: only a brother & cousin), and we kept the details private—no drama, criticism or demands from anyone (we have low-key families anyway). Something to consider! Appreciate your families’ excitement and let them host the kind of party they want for you.

I’m not having one but I’m planning a get together for the wedding party to meet and greet . So everyone can know each other and plans for the wedding and some details but not until September I’m doing it I’m getting married June 2020

View Quoted Comment We announced our engagement on social media as well.

View Quoted Comment A house party sounds like a good idea.