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Just Said Yes September 2020

Engagement Party Etiquette ?

Jay_Ay, on June 26, 2019 at 9:13 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 6

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My FH is of a different culture than me and he is very much into his culture, especially being that his parents are immigrants. I am obviously proud of my roots but am not as into my culture as he is. For our engagement party he wants there to be music of his culture played and I was fine with a few songs but he said that wasn't nearly enough (he wants at least 15-20 min of his music played) for his family. Mind you his family is contributing nothing to this party and my family is paying for more than half and he is paying the rest. I said it is unfair to the rest of the guests, especially my family who is paying a large amount, to be playing this much music that they are unfamiliar with. I just want everyone to have a good time and for neutral music to be played but like I said I am fine with a few of their songs being played mixed in with the rest of the music. Am I being selfish or is he the one who is wrong ?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on June 27, 2019 at 3:26 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on June 26, 2019 at 9:23 PM
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It’s music at an engagement party...20 minutes of a probably 4+ hour party...I don’t see the issue.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on June 26, 2019 at 9:29 PM
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Well how long is the party? If it's several hours you could easily do 30-60 minutes of his and the other 2+ hours would be yours. That'd be 2/3 your music.
Not sure which culture he's from but you
1. Should respect your inlaws culture and your Fiance's wishes to keep his culture
2. Think about alternating between his and yours.
3. Maybe playing his during food time? Have a few cultural snacks served so everyone can get a taste because there will clearly more later
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VIP March 2019
Yoice · on June 26, 2019 at 9:41 PM
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I think what he’s asking is kind of reasonable. I can see how this might be odd for the other guests and even yourself but 20 minutes is about 5 songs of 4 minutes each? That doesn’t seem like a lot specially if the party is most likely more than 3 hours. I personally think is better he wants to do this now instead of the wedding.
You can incorporate this during dinner, a game, a slideshow. Different ways that would make his family feel welcome as well.
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on June 27, 2019 at 12:33 AM
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Yeah 20 minutes isnt very long.
Just do it.
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Dedicated April 2020
Lyndsey · on June 27, 2019 at 8:48 AM
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I don't think 20 minutes is that long. At the end of the day you are marrying someone of a different culture and if it's important to him you should respect that. Look at it as a celebration of your different backgrounds coming together. It might not be a bad idea for you to get to know a little about his culture and the way his family like to celebrate anyway, after all, you have a lifetime of it ahead of you! I wouldn't assume other guests would find it odd or weird, people often like to experience something a little different at weddings and the like. If they do, well they have the rest of the party to enjoy what they do know!
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Lady · on June 27, 2019 at 3:26 PM
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I would just spread it out - it might be odd to have a solid block of totally different style music. But seriously - this is background music at an engagement party AND he's paying for half the event. Let him play whatever he wants.
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