moh Vent (long)

I would head out to whatever bar I wanted and bring my BMs. My MOH can go where she wants. With us or by herself to the expensive tiki bar at the hotel. She's really being unreasonable changing all the plans at this late date without consulting the other BMs who are paying for their portions of the party. Frankly, I would have let her eat the cost of the expensive hotel and stayed at the original hotel.

Jude is super rude. Push back and say you’re right it’s not about what you want, we are sticking to the original tiki bar plan.

I cant believe she went and booked another hotel and then messed the dates all up!

Is this unusual behavior for her or is this how she generally behaves? If she were paying for everything, that would be different. She’s not and has a lot of nerve spending other people’s money the way she sees fit.,

Honestly just tell her that she’s stressing you out and hat you liked the original plans. That you just want to relax and go with the flow. If she can’t roll with that she can have a party of her own... a pity party, jeez. She’s trying to control things last minute and that’s super stressful on you. Good luck!

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I thought about it! The only reason I went with it was because the other girls said it was okay with them

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I know...its super frustrating. My poor BM who planned it feels terribly and like her plan wasn't good enough and I don't blame her

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It's pretty unusual for her, though I know she likes the "finer things" in life and will spend money freely. She also told me that instead of staying in the same room as all of us, she was thinking of booking her own room next to ours, which also irked me, but I told her that that was her choice. She also only just moved out on her own and sometimes has a very immature mindset, whereas the rest of us have been on our own for a while, FH and I bought a house in February, so we're all very budget conscious. She's now offering to pay for drinks for everyone for the whole weekend in order to get her way...clearly she just wants to spend as much money as possible!

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It is, especially bc my BM feels like her plan wasn't enough even though it's what I really wanted and she did such a great job. I also feel like I shouldn't even be this involved in the planning!!

View Quoted Comment Tell your MOH exactly this. And then do exactly this. It's on hey for booking a hotel when you already had one.

View Quoted Comment Then stick to plan #1. Oh well the MOH will be out of money but she knew that was likely anyways.

I would tell her that she is absolutely right, it is your weekend, and all you wanted was for it to be laid-back and fun. Just tell her that you are trying to be budget conscious, and have fun without spending a lot of money. I think you should also tell her that these plans have been in place for two months, and it is stressing you out to make last-minute changes. The rest of the girls are just going along because they want to make you happy and do whatever it is you want to do, unlike your maid of honor, who seems to be making it all it all about herself. You can remind her that when she gets married she can do a bachelorette her way!

RUDE. I'd be appreciative she planned one, but it's insanely rude she didn't ask/keep budgets in mind while planning. Stick to the original tiki bar, that's what Uber and Lyft are for if she feels they are far. I would still try and enjoy the weekend and know no matter what, you'll have fun with it.

Bachelorette weekends like this are super stressful. You’ve worked so hard to plan and now that it’s here you want it to go perfectly. The same thing happened with my best friends bach weekend. Cost got out of hand, it turned a bit into us vs them but try to remember it’s just one weekend, try to go with the flow, and try to preserve your friendship. My friends MOH and I are best friends too and we managed to come out the other side still BFFs. It can be done. Just be careful.

I'm so sorry you're feeling frustrated! Fingers crossed that your MOH has an attitude adjustment by the time you leave so that you can all enjoy the weekend together!

Have you had a one-on-one conversation with her? Not to tell her off, but rather to see if she's alright? This seems like unusual behavior!

I sincerely hope the weekend goes well for you! Have a margarita for me!

So for an update...spoke to MOH today and said that our plan for this weekend is remaining as is for a variety of reasons and that I didn't really want to talk about it more because the whole thing was stressing me out. Of course MOH is now being very passive aggressive and told me that we should extend the stay for the 2 additional nights at the first hotel we'll be at and that she'll "eat the cost" of the nicer hotel that she booked since she "doesn't think it's fair" for everyone to have to pay a resort fee for a resort that we won't be using. Then she said she'll stay in the room at the nicer hotel and meet us wherever. So I'm still very frustrated and now I almost feel like this was her goal all along...to book a nicer hotel than what we originally got and to try to make it into a weekend of things she wants to do. I also find it super weird that she would just stay at another hotel by herself. I just don't know what to make of any of this. Nothing with the hotels can be changed...they're non-refundable and all the rooms at the majority of shore hotels are already booked this weekend since its so close. I know that nothing unusual is going on with her because we talk about non-wedding things all the time. I just feel like she didn't like a "lower" hotel and was trying to do this all along. UGH

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Let her stay where ever she wants. She doesn't HAVE to stay with the rest of the girls. She can spend her own money to stay in the hotel she deems fit for her needs. She's being incredibly selfish and the more you give in to her the more she's going to demand. Putting your foot down sucks but it's better to have her upset with you than upset the rest of the bridal party in my opinion.