Deciding what to eat at Rehearsal Dinner in advance?

Our rehearsal venue has set menus: one chicken, steak, veggie option with set prices. It was just a matter of what tier we chose. So we know regardless of what people choose on the menu, it's still $50/pp.

I don’t see the difference between that and having a meal selection for the wedding. I would just limit it to 2-3 options and have people make a selection when they RSVP.

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Well the difference is that you don't know what they're going to order, so we don't know the price. But I don't care if I know the price now or later. I just don't want to make them choose something now when they might be in the mood for something else on the menu when the night comes.

You can always do it similar to how you’d do wedding response cards. Pick 2/3 pretty standard meals (like chicken, beef, or fish) and have them respond with their choice. Or work with the restaurant to do a limited menu where they can choose from that the day of the dinner. For example ours is a lunch, but we’ll have bread for the table. Then they can choose either soup or a side salad. Then choose between 2/3 different sandwiches or 2/3 different large salads. And they choose a dessert. You control what they can order from so it’ll keep your costs more predictable when you get the bill.

Can you work with the restaurant to do a smaller preset menu that way you know the cost of everything (or most things) up front?

Our rehearsal dinner restaurant had us pick five options. It’s an Italian place, so they suggested 3 pastas and 2 “meat” entrees (chick, beef or fish). They actually insisted on it to streamline things. They’ll print menu cards that our guests will be able to order from.

Easier for them, easy enough for us and my FH’s parents, who are hosting. We’ll also have a few appetizers and bread and dipping oil.

We did this. It was mostly for cost and time sake. We picked menu items under a certain price range for people to choose from and are having them give their selection prior to the rehearsal dinner so the restaurant can have our food done quicker. We are doing the ceremony rehearsal before dinner and decorating the reception venue after dinner so we really need to keep things streamlined.

Okay, so it sounds like this actually serves some good purpose. Still kind of on the fence about it but the advice here definitely helps

If you are paying and it's about 15 people and you don't care what the price comes out to, then don't worry about it.

If it's way more then 15 people and FMIL is paying then probably do it the way others have suggested.

Atleast with our circle of friends, we know people wouldnt just order the most expensive thing just because so I would probably just let them order whatever.

We’re picking three different things to eat. We’re not sending a menu out for them pick ahead of time. We just chooses a place and time, we then sent each of them a invitation with the address and location.

Just be like that's an interesting idea and then leave it at that. Maybe she wont bring it up again. Perhaps they want to know because they want to help cover some of the bill that night. My stepdad is like that. It's sweet but annoying.

It does seem odd. It's not the same as the wedding. I wouldn't worry about it

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This is what we did. This way we knew how much everything would cost and could budget for it.

Yea we didn't do that but we did have a set pre fixe menu on the day of so we limited the options

I feel like it's kind of odd. Are the plate prices super different depending on what they pick? We had 5 mexican food choices at our RD and guests just picked when they got there.

Is actually pretty common for rehearsal and day after brunch to have the menu send in advance. Is almost the same as the wedding when you pick if you want fish, chicken or steak before hand in your RSVP card. I think is actually a good idea to do this. You can also have a customize menu so you pick the items you want them to choose from so they don’t have the full menu option. This way you accommodate the menu to your budget.

I'd honestly assume everyone picks the most expensive thing and budget for that then be pleasantly surprised to spend less

We had an "event" menu. 2 salad options, 3 entree options, and 2 dessert options. My ILs paid for it, but I think there was 1 pp cost, regardless of what people ordered. See if you could work with the restaurant to do something like this, that way you would know what to expect rather than giving guests free reign of the menu.