Couple's Shower with No Registry???

Since you don’t need anything, and that’s basically the purpose of having a shower, why not just scrap the shower idea and have an engagement party instead? Then you can still celebrate with the same people and gifts won’t be an issue

I agree with Chrysta. The whole purpose of a shower is to "shower the couple" with gifts. My husband and I lived together for years prior to getting engaged, but we registered for upgrades on things for our shower. If you truly don't want anything, I would skip the shower. You can host a luncheon (basically a shower without the gifts) or an engagement party (although those usually come with gifts too, just smaller ones).

I am in a similar boat! My fiance and I just wanted to celebrate with everyone, but with no gifts (we don't need or want anything). So we had told the people organizing our bridal shower that our preference was that people either bring a recipe to share with us instead of a gift, or, if they really feel the need to bring a gift, to bring something that can be donated to an animal shelter. You could do something similar and put together a list of things that are needed by a charity you support, and have that be your registry?

If you don't have a registry, you will receive gifts you don't want and can't return. Many people do not give cash for any occasion. This applies whether you have a shower or not.


Also a shower is for physical gifts. Upgrade stuff you already have. Register for things you want that you wouldn't buy yourself, as well as shared hobbies/interests: camping, grilling, card/board games, etc.

I agree with PP on turning shower into engagement party to celebrate and include no gifts please on the invite, or recommend a donation to a local charity in your name. This way everyone wins, you get to celebrate with family and friends, your guests commemorate your special occasion and some charity gets some much needed donations.

I recommend either registering for upgrades of what you already have OR do a themed shower.


I really wish we could have had a stock the bar shower where people can bring you their favorite wine/hard liquor/shelf stable cocktail or mocktail ingredients.
I’ve also seen a “boring essentials” shower where the couple registered on Amazon for things like batteries of all sizes, tools, a car jump kit, lawncare equipment, etc. Things you’ll always need!

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh, I LOVE this idea!! ❤️ This makes me actually consider having a shower now! My mom and aunts really wanted to throw me one, but I didn’t see a purpose since I didn’t want any gifts. But registering for items on my favorite animal shelter’s Amazon wish list is an amazing idea!! Thanks Lisa!!

If you don’t want or need gifts, don’t have a shower.

Don't call it a shower. Call it an engagement party, luncheon, etc


I really don't like "stock the bar" or "boring essentials" parties. At a conventional bridal shower, you can provide thought out, personalized gifts that actually celebrate the bride getting married. It should not be used as an opportunity to stock up on booze or batteries at the expense of your nearest and dearest.
At one shower, I got to see the bride tear up when she received bouquet charms with her late grandmas' photos on them. We all laughed when she opened up her 5th lingerie gift in a row. We awwed when she got cute socks so she didn't get "cold feet" before the wedding. She received blue garters. She used one of my gifts (a giant ring pop for her dog) as part of her wedding decor.
When you ask for gifts that are TOO practical and generic, you lose that sentimental aspect and the purpose of a bridal shower.

My husband and I lived together for almost three years so we had a lot stuff already, but we asked for upgraded items like new stuff for the bathroom or dishes that actually matched since the dishes we had weren't part of a set.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this, and dislike honeyfund showers for the same reason.

Then have a tea ( light supper, or cocktails with apps and little desserts, a social or brides luncheon or tea, which is a shower type, but all visiting and talking. No gifts. And this is one others can give in your honor. A you can have the party. It is appropriate to put at the bottom of the informal invitation : "This is not a shower, and there will be no gifts. " Not a cute, your presence is your present, because half will bring them anyway. Just a clear statement.

I would also try to call it something else. Engagement party could work— I think everyone would understand it being delayed from your actual engagement given the pandemic !


The reason for this is that if I went to a shower, even if there was no registry, I would not feel comfortable showing up without a gift. So I’d buy something to give that was MY taste, so I’d think you’ll end up still getting gifts but not necessarily things you’ll like or want!
Or, do register for some upgrades! My husband and I already owned a home together but once we started trying to make a list of wants, we came up with a whole lot of stuff— many little kitchen trinkets that weren’t essentials but were nice-to-haves. We donated our older stuff to accommodate some newer nicer stuff so it didn’t feel wasteful.

View Quoted Comment Just goes to show how different people are! I’ve never seen gifts like these given at any showers at all—and would have been mortified to receive any of them. The bouquet charms is a sweet, but I don’t love people giving gifts that almost force the bride to incorporate them into their wedding day. I think that’s the kind of thing a bride should be privately asked and consulted about.

Kylie & Christa both have great ideas!

View Quoted Comment I love both these ideas for showers! I’ve never heard of the “boring essentials” shower, but what a great idea! Those are things everyone needs and oftentimes don’t think about until the situation arises and you don’t have what you need lol I think the stock the bar idea would be especially great for a co-ed shower. We entertain a lot (or rather, we DID before covid) and always try to have a large array of liquors stocked. But we’re definitely guilty of always stocking our “go to” brands. It would be fun to see what others brought! Maybe it would lead to finding new favorites. Or at least give the opportunity to have that person’s favorite liquor when they visit.
Great suggestions!!

Register for experiences! Date nights, fancy dinner, massages, honeymoon fund, etc. people can gift money for you to enjoy these things but keep in mind people do want to give you physical gifts too so if you want to upgrade any of your kitchen appliances, nows the time! If you’ve had your eye on something at a store, nows the time to add it to a registry and have someone gift it to you! You can even put furniture on there or camping equipment! Whatever y’all are into!

View Quoted Comment I thought the boring essentials idea was so much fun! And people got creative and added their own small gifts to registry items that went along with theme. Everyone thought it was so fun.


I personally love these more untraditional showers. Ours was a traditional housegoods shower but co-ed and a fun boozy luncheon as opposed to a stuffy or overly sentimental gathering.
And I am obsessed with the animal shelter donation idea!!

Do a stock the bar party!