Anyone planning on changing their last name but having a hard time committing? I’ve always planned on taking my husband’s last name and love the idea of it as well as our future kids having the same name. But there’s a big part of me that feels like I’m leaving a huge piece of me behind.
Latest activity by Heather, on November 19, 2021 at 2:13 PM
I'm not changing my name. I love my last name, and am super close with my big family, and I just don't want to give away that piece of me. But I did make sure to have the convo with my FH to make sure he's okay with it, which he was. Future kids isnt an issue, as we are older and already have existing kids.
Exact same! When I got engaged I just assumed I’d change my last name; I guess just because “that’s what you do”. But as our wedding approaches, and the time nears to change my name, I’ve found I don’t really want to do it. I guess I just never really thought about it until it actually became a possibility.
I took my husband’s last name , but I certainly haven’t abandoned my own. Socially, I use both (email signature, sharable contact) and in many digital accounts (Amazon, for example), instead of changing out last names, I just added the new at the end. Legally, all the important stuff, is all new last name only, but it hasn’t required me to completely detach from old last name. Also, new last name is long and complicated so we actually use my last name a lot (like at the dry cleaner or when calling to make a reservation) just for the simplicity , which is a silly small thing that I appreciate too!
I will admit it was a difficult decision for me to make as to whether I was going to change my last name or not, as this is my second marriage and I had a son (who is now 9) from my first marriage. I wasn't sure as to how it would make him feel if Mom had a different last name than he did. In which I made sure we had a discussion about it to see how he felt about it, because I didn't want him to feel upset, hurt or uncomfortable with it. He expressed that he was super happy and excited for us to be getting married and that he felt ok about me having a different last name. Then he said something that I found a bit cute saying "now my school will know when it is you because of you'll have a different last name than Sharron (step-mother).
So I'm running into this as well. We both have advanced degrees and I plan on ultimately going back and getting my doctorate one day. Legally and socially, I plan on changing my last name to be his. But once I get my doctorate I will have them hyphenate my maiden and married names on the document (so my maiden name is on all of my degrees - it's mine and I earned those as me) and go by Dr. Maiden Name professionally.
I am SO excited to change my name, but I definitely think it's going to feel weird at first! I've been my last name for 36 years! Even though I'll be exactly the same person... I know who Rosie OldLastName is, but I've never met Rosie NewLastName before!
I guess there are all sorts of scenarios where it would be easier/harder.
Like, if I was going from a name at one end of the alphabet to another ... I'm used to looking in a certain spot for my name on alphabetical charts, being called alphabetically, etc, so going from one end to another might be weird at first. Thankfully my new last name is the next one over, so no drama there for me.
Or, if I were going from a name common in whatever culture where I live to a minority one, would people start treating me differently, or vice-versa if I had a minority name and suddenly was using a more common name?
And, just the spelling might be an issue! My old name is 4 letters, very simple (even though people still spell it wrong!) but my new name will be 9 letters. And my mum sent us a Christmas card using it (even though we're not married yet, although we should be if covid hadn't made us postpone!) and she spelt it wrong. So, I can see I'm going to have to get used to that.
Also I'm very lucky, because Rosie is a name with which many last names might sound silly. Rosie Garden, Rosie Palms, Rosie O'Donnell, the list goes on. If changing my name would make me become a laughing stock, I wouldn't be comfortable at all! Thankfully, my name will sound quite nice, so no issue there.
Beyond all that, my career reputation does not really rely on my last name. I'm not published, I'm not internationally known by my current name. I'd be struggling a LOT more with that change if any of that was an issue for me.
You can move your last name to your middle name, hyphenate your last names, or keep all your names. I didn’t realize until recently that my mom kept all her names so legally she has 4 names but only goes by my dads last name.