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Jessie
Devoted September 2020

Cash Fund Registry- Tacky?

Jessie, on January 16, 2020 at 9:32 AM Posted in Registry 0 23
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I told my step-FMIL that we're doing a "New Home Fund" on our knot website, on top of little registries from Target and Bed, Bath, & Beyond. She said people think it's tacky when people ask for money for their wedding.


But that's why we're doing it on our website, so we don't bluntly ask for it. We've also lived in an apartment together for 4 years so we really don't need many things. We still did those actual registries, but with small less expensive things because I know some people are traditional and just need to buy a gift. We will appreciate anything we get.
What do you guys think of cash funds? I've tried telling my step-FMIL that this is just how things are done now.

23 Comments

Latest activity by Jill, on January 17, 2020 at 11:09 AM
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag

    I've also wondered this. We live together and have for a while so we have most of what we need. I have like 15 items on our website, for the same reason as you, and a honeymoon fund. We invited 246 people. I've considered doing away with both and just not having a registry because they always say "people will get it."

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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    It is tacky. Just forfeit any showers/gift giving events and don't have a registry and hope that you get cash at the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    We did Honeyfund & 2 small registries for those who wanted to get us gifts. Per etiquette, we didn’t mention our registry info on Save the Dates or invites. We only mentioned when guests asked if we were registered.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Not a fan of them. If you want cash, just skip the registry. People know that cash is a good gift without being told.

    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag

    I keep seeing that it's tacky/rude here on WeddingWire. But, I will likely do what you did. We bought a house that needs some renovations, so we are wanting just money (not saying that in a rude way, I don't expect anything from guests). However, my dad said some people will want to do gifts so we are going to do a small registry for things we want to upgrade (like plates/bowls, tupperware, towels, sheets, stuff like that). Some people like getting gifts which I understand, but I also don't want to just not mention it and then people think they are giving a lame gift by giving cash. It's hard to please everyone!

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    Some people are offended by them, especially those from older generations. I just don't see the need for them. They charge a fee for the sole purpose of transferring money between 2 people. People can give you cash or a check for free. Why get charged a fee for something unneccessary? As a PP said, everyone knows cash is a good gift. We had a small registry of upgrades/misc things we needed because we've also lived together for years. We got 1 physical gift at the wedding. Everyone else gave us cash/checks. Mostly, the physical gifts were given at the shower.
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag
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    I completely agree with this. Whether you think they are or not, there is a decent chance some part of your guest list will think it is incredibly "tacky" to ask for cash in any manner (and for sake of argument, they won't find a "cute poem" from Pinterest ANY better...). At daughter's wedding those exact guests gave cash/check gifts, typically ranging from $200-1000, WITHOUT BE TOLD ANYWHERE that the couple WANTED CASH (and I know those people, they would definitely have been rolling their eyes and/or talking smack about any request for cash...). They won't see it as "modern," they'll see it as clueless and rude. Generally, most people know cash is a wonderful wedding gift, no need to risk insulting them by assuming you need to tell them so. Also, no need to pay a middleman (Honeyfund) to collect cash for you. Why would anyone pay to have a third-party collect their wedding gifts for them? That makes NO sense. Cash funds were invented to make the CASH FUND OPERATOR MONEY, that's all they do. Have a small registry for those who might insist on giving a physical gift (you're not going to change their minds, so at least give them direction about something you'll use, like upgraded linens or better quality flatware, etc.), and leave others to write checks as they see fit, and have likely been doing for decades. Good luck!

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  • Jessie
    Devoted September 2020
    Jessie ·
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    Thanks for the advice and being so kind! I obliviously didn't check The Knot cash funds for any fees, and still can't find anything about it. But I don't like how it's set up, and I have to email customer service to just remove it from my website. So I know if I don't like it now, I won't like it when people actually start using it. My registry is private now until it is removed.
    • Reply
  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
    • Flag

    My FH and I also live in a small apartment. We are registering for specific things for our honeymoon (an excursion, candlelight dinner on the beach, etc.) on Zola rather than a broad cash fund. This way, if someone chooses to gift us with these experiences, they can. If not, we will have a Bed Bath & Beyond registry as well.

    • Reply
  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·
    • Flag

    You don't get "experiences"; you get a check from which the company deducts a fee.

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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag

    I personally think it's tacky, but I've been told that "that's what people do these days." While I would never put money towards any kind of fund, house or honeymoon, seeing one would not make me think the worst of you. But I would not attend a shower if that's all someone is asking for. To me, showers are for gifts, weddings are for checks.

    • Reply
  • Jessie
    Devoted September 2020
    Jessie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    That's what I was thinking, I still did the gift registries especially for the shower. But after all these comments, I'm removing the cash fund since people will likely being money to the wedding anyway. Not that they have to, but I don't want people to feel obligated.
    • Reply
  • Jessie
    Devoted September 2020
    Jessie ·
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    True! It's so strange to me that it's okay to request gifts and most people give money anyway, but people think it's "rude" to request money in any way. Especially with how things have changed, most couples live together before being married. So I would think most people wouldn't use typical registries as much.
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
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    I agree! I'm not going to be like "hey if you're coming, give me cash or I don't want you here" because that's not the case. But a lot of people just get confused if there's no registry and no comment about anything gift related.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I would skip the cash registry, and just not register. If you want a shower, you can do a small physical gift registry but everyone else will get the hint and just gift cash. Then you don't have to insult more traditional people about the cash registry and you don't have to pay fees and wait so long for your money to come through. We had a full gift registry on Amazon (about 90 gifts total for my 25 person bridal shower and our 125 person wedding). More than half gifted cash.

    • Reply
  • Holly
    Savvy April 2022
    Holly ·
    • Flag
    I'm 100 percent doing a honeyfund. It's the only thing I really want, I'm even compromising on my dress! I think it's a super fun way to share experiences. (Or in this case, a lasting investment). It's okay to be realistic about what you want. Most of these people (I assume)love you and want you to be happy, they are not there to judge you. I'm going to emphasize that no one has to yet us anything at all, that their presence is the only thing I want.


    But please, for the love of god, don't fill my small NYC apartment up with random stuff I don't need! What do I want? A couples massage on our honeymoon! A Morrocan cooking class! A glass of wine in Italy! I'll take photos, I'll share them with you, make you feel included even past the wedding date.
    • Reply
  • Jessie
    Devoted September 2020
    Jessie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Very good point! Thank you.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Having no registry is the way couples have been opening themselves up to cash gifts (without asking) for decades. It's so much easier to go the "not going to offend anyone" route than the "not sure who this will offend" route. Have a super small registry for physical gifts or none at all. If/when people ask, just say "we're not doing a gift registry!"

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  • Jill
    Jill ·
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    The thing is you don't get experiences. You get a check from Honeyfund with their fee deducted to do what you want with.

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  • Holly
    Savvy April 2022
    Holly ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah exactly. Just like when someone gives you a cook book, you don't get cookies! But you gain the ability to make them, and that's what we value.
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