Bridesmaids/payment

Did anyone ask them if the planned weekend was in their budget? Their only duty is to wear the assigned dress, show up on time, reasonably sober and support your money.

The only thing a bridesmaid or MOH is committing to is getting a dress (chosen based on their budget and with their comfort in mind) and showing up at the wedding. Anything else they choose to do or be involved in is gravy. Your expectations are too big - they do not need to spend anything else on pre-wedding events unless they choose to, and they get to decide how much they spend overall to be in the wedding.

How was the budget for the bachelorette party determined? Were they each asked if they were interested in attending a bach party, and if so what their budget was? They shouldn't have just been given an invoice, if that's how it came about.

That's good, then. But it sounds like they can't afford it now, so just tell your MOH to let them know the last day to book/pay and don't worry about it. If they can make it, great; if not, it'll go on without them.

I usually err on the side of giving bridesmaids a lot of slack, but this isn't that simple. If they agreed (even helped to create) to a budget, and based on their word a house has been booked with the understanding the cost will be split, they can't just bail now. That will raise the price for everyone else who now has to cover their portion, which again they agreed to beforehand. That's very unfair on all the other bridal party members. If they couldn't pay for it they shouldn't have pretended to confirm their attendance.

You have every right to be frustrated. I would just not include them and I hate to say this but maybe you can cover the remainder of the amount. I am hoping that it is not horribly expensive as I know as a bride to be you have enough financial responsibility. Playing the devil's advocate doing anything a part from a dinner is pricey and not everyone can afford it. Hopefully they can come to a dinner or something if you have one planned. I do not mean to sound harsh as at the end of the day you should do whatever makes you happy for your day but to have any kind of bachelorette outing that involves staying over somewhere or traveling and the cost is more than the dinner is your decision and I do not know if it would be fair for the remainder of the bridal party to have to chip in more for your bachelorette weekend. Is there a way to find a cheaper place that will not cost more for you or anyone else? Having been a bridesmaid and shelling out for a dress and whatever else I know I would be bothered if my bride friend were to tell me I need to pay more for her bachelorette and it may make me want to feel like no longer going. Just something to think about. You should still have the weekend you want but it may be at your expense. I am thinking of having two friends be my MOH and a bridesmaid and maybe doing a girls weekend at a hotel locally but I am the one willing to pay myself and not expect them to even if they stay with me because it is my plan and what I want. Just something to take into consideration. I hope things do work out well for you.

Oh the frustrations when including others in life events. I would say from this point take what they say with caution and a grain of salt. Hopefully they get it together at the last minute because I agree that it is messed up to financially promise something to someone and not follow through. More so, we're adults and ignoring conversations is not cool. Either way you deserve to enjoy your bachelorette so please do not let these ladies get you down. Have a great time and do not let anything bring you down.

I don't think you're asking too much at all. One of my bridesmaids volunteered to plan my bach party. We live in Texas but talked about Nashville. Then I told them the dress they needed to buy ($100-$200 depending on the style they choose), cost of hair/makeup IF they wanted it done, and also thought about the accommodations they'll be paying for the weekend of the wedding. After I added all this up, I decided a weekend trip to Nashville that we would have to book flights for just seems like a lot to ask so I'm looking into NOLA so we can drive instead of fly. All of that set aside, it's super nice of you to be conscious about where it is and notify them way in advance. They had months to plan and if they couldn't budget their money, that's on them. You're not asking them to fly to Mexico or anything ridiculous and I don't feel like it's unreasonable to ask if they're interested in coming anymore. They're being incredibly rude by ignoring everyone.

Did your MOH consult their budget prior to planning the bachelorette?

Yes I forgot to mention it in the original post, but these two actually helped plan the bach weekend included laying out the cost. So that's what makes it uber frustrating.