Bride’s input re rehearsal dinner...too much?

I would tell her what your budget is and that unless she cuts her guest list or finds a place within your budget that she is then going to have to pay the difference. My mother-in-law wanted to pay for our rehearsal so she told us what she would be willing to spend. None of us knew the area since we got married out of state so she left it up to me to find a location that would work within her budget.

Her expectations sound completely ridiculous and very entitled. If you are hosting, you make decisions (with her input). If she doesn't like it, she can decide to host her own rehearsal dinner

That’s crazy! So sorry you’re dealing with that. I’d be honest with her and tell her what budget you’re working with, and she’s going to have to compromise by either (1) inviting fewer people (2) settling for a less fancy event (3) paying however much goes over your budget.


Sounds like you’re being super generous to pay for any of it at all and she should be grateful for that!

The bride is being entitled. 70 people to a rehearsal dinner? It's typically just the wedding party and their SO's. Out of towners are sometimes included, but not a must

Wow 70 people from just her side to a rehearsal dinner? How big is the wedding party? Sounds like she wants another wedding. As the MOG for my sons recent wedding I would say give her your budget and then she can pay whatever the additional amount is if she doesn’t like your idea. We paid a certain amount and they paid the rest. You are not being unreasonable; she is. Good luck!

Seems like a large rehearsal dinner. Mine was around 35 people (4 parents, 15 people who were bridal party plus significant others, officiant and his wife, 5 grandparents, and my FH’s 8 siblings). She either needs to cut her list to bridal party and immediate family, decide on a more casual event, or pay the cost difference. It is so sweet of you to offer to host, but you shouldn’t be taken advantage of. Speak to your son and his future wife and be upfront about your budget. They ultimately have to decide what to do, but it is unreasonable to expect you to pay for what seems like an excessive amount of guests to a rehearsal dinner.

70 people for a rehearsal dinner? That is a darn wedding!

I would just tell her your budget. If she wants it more formal, she can contribute the extra $.

View Quoted Comment Agreed.


For context, my wedding is 80 people and vendors consider that a medium sized wedding

View Quoted Comment Our guest list is tiny and we may have about 16 people at our rehearsal dinner.

When you offer to give a party like the Rehearsal Dinner, you have a budget, and a general idea, whether at home , in a restaurant or other venue, formal service and menu or casual dining. If the couple accepts your offer to host, you as host have the authority to cap numbers, choose menu, etc. You do not sign on to be a line of credit for anything they decide they want. If the issue is solely money, and they wish to co host and split the cost, and that is fine with you, that is fair. Or you can give a plan with fewer guests, and what you consider a reasonable plan within a doable budget for you. And if they do not accept it, they can host and pay for, plan, and carry out the whole thing. A formal dinner is almost always a couples event for those with a SO. The only people necessary are the wedding party and SO, the couple, the parents, and if they wish, the immediate family. If you are offering that many or more, you are entitled to say, we agreed to the dinner party I proposed. You cannot add guests beyond ____, the number you can afford. And for that, there will be ___ ( plated service or buffet, or tent, or whatever venue). Put your foot down. A rehearsal dinner is a minor party of the wedding, not a second small wedding. It is a leisurely dinner. Not the social event of the season. If you are okay with expanding numbers provided they co-host and pay 50% and do half the work, make than as an alternate offer to doing the event you wanted for numbers you can afford. And the only other choice, they do the whole thing. Don't lay down so they can walk all over you.

This could be as simple as going back to the bride and saying something along the lines of: we could accommodate the larger number of guests for a more informal rehearsal dinner, or X amount for a more formal affair, what is more important to you?" Then the ball is ultimately in her court (by the way...she should understand "but I want it all" is not an option lol).

Ours was initially the same way: us + wedding party/spouses + parents/spouses was alone 30 people! Once I realized my MIL was inviting some aunts/uncles, I added mine to the list and the initial list was doubled! It sounded scary at first, but actually seeing who was able to attend the wedding brought the number down to a more manageable 45, which ended up fitting perfectly with the budget, restaurant package, etc. that we chose