Bridal Shower/grooms family

Wow, the way she reacted would leave a bad taste in my mouth. Does she realize people she doesn't know will be at her wedding?

If she feels this way about the shower, she may not be open to you hosting a second shower. That being said, it wouldn't hurt to offer her a second shower with your family! Don't be surprised if she declines though.

I just had a shower with my FH's side of the family this past weekend and it was beautiful! Of course, I have spent time with his extended family during holidays but it's never been all about me. So that was a little weird at first but it was a blessing to have everyone there.

Honestly, your FDIL can suck it up for 2-3 hours and spend time with your side of the family. She should be thankful that your family and friends want to shower her with gifts and celebrate her marriage to your son! And if there isn't a separate shower, what's adding 10 more people going to hurt? Nothing!

I would not throw her a shower at all with her attitude. I would not even want to go to the one planned already but I would and just smile. She does not deserve one to be honest.

I met a lot of my fiancé’s side of the family at my bridal shower, like his aunts and whatnot. I’m glad they came so when I see them again at the wedding I’ll know who they are. The bride was extremely rude with her reaction. If you were willing to help pay for the shower I don’t know what the big deal is. Like I said a great way to meet people before the big day. Hope everything works out for you.

That’s really rude of her.

wouldn’t have had a shower at all if it wasn’t for my FMIL. I was very grateful and we blended a few people from my family in to the guest list as you suggested. I loved it and had a wonderful time.

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I totally agree with this. I wouldn't bother to throw anything extra for her.

Oh jeeze. I'm sorry she reacted that way. It seems out of line to me and also possibly a maturity issue.

My FH's family is from out of town (flying distance), and I invited my FMIL to my bridal shower which was mostly just my side and my mom's friends. However, if my FMIL had asked to invite her friends I would definitely have said yes (though I didn't see why any of them would want to pay to fly down for my bridal shower). Not sure if you have spoken with your son or her mother about this to get their views? You would have to be careful about that though - not sure if that is overstepping, but just an idea.

Ultimately, I guess you can't really force her to invite your friends to her bridal shower, but maybe you could throw her a separate party if you still want to. I personally wouldn't feel inclined to throw her a party after her behavior though.

I had my shower a few weeks ago, and if i'm being very honest, the wedding is 80% FH's family and i wanted my shower to be more personal to me than that. But when my FMIL asked if I could do two separate showers so that their family can celebrate as well, she didnt offer to throw it... she just suggested that i have two... So with nobody to throw the second i just added her guest list to my shower and it put extra costs and funds onto my MOH"s & Sister who helped pay for it and it was not as personal as id like cause I was a bit more nervous in front of his family. To me it depends on the bride and the wedding that she is having, my whole wedding has been planned around my FH's massive family and i have really struggled with how to express the frustration of this to my FMIL and I would have liked to have my shower just about me and what i wanted. While maybe it could have come across as her having attitude i would really try to listen to what she wants, but thats coming from a slightly bitter Bride who's had to sacrifice a lot of what i wanted to accommodate my new family... LOL

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"Bridal showers are for the bride and the bride's family". Sorry, but your FDIL doesn't understand the concept of showers. But, since that's her opinion of what a shower is, don't host one for her. Why go to the trouble and expense for a brat like that?

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Yes. Preach! I cannot believe her response!

The whole reason my FMIL combined with my MOH was because she knew I would feel uncomfortable ina room of only FH's family. I do not know most very well, and am awkward in those situations.

Thank You everyone for your responses. It has really helped me. I am not going to do a separate Wedding shower now. This whole wedding has been tough at times. I have not voiced any opinions at all and I am very careful. I will go to her shower for my son and suck it up but her response was very hurtful. We are paying for any guests on our side over 50, the alcohol, the cake and of course the Rehearsal dinner, I have bought a bunch of little things like the toasting glasses ETC.. but I feel like it’s not about us or my son at all, just about her. I guess the best thing is to just put a smile on my face and not create any conflict. We have a good relationship all in all, but I feel like I cannot express any opinions at all or she gets mad at me.

That was so rude! Marriage joins families together!! She needs to remember that, these are people she needs to know!!!!!!!!