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GDavis
Just Said Yes April 2021

Bridal Shower

GDavis, on September 2, 2020 at 2:39 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 45
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Hello! Alright having an issue. First let's start by saying I am not traditional nor do I like surprises. Being said we were supposed to have a Jack and Jill wedding party instead of a bridal party, but no thanks to COVID 19 #thankscovid19 we are going back to a bridal party and per NYS restrictions, I can only have 50 people there. FMIL keeps saying you don't pay anything toward the bridal party and you don't plan it. My mom is saying do what you want. My bridal party (the bridesmaids) say do what you want and we will help where we can. Mind you we have to do it during the winter since our wedding is April 2021 so, I have to find something indoors. First question is who or how do I limit the guest list for a bridal party and second question should I be able to plan out my own bridal party?

45 Comments

Latest activity by Annalie, on September 10, 2020 at 11:06 PM
  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Are you referring to a bachelorette party? If so, typically that is planned by your bridal party (your bridesmaids and MOH collectively are your bridal party), but you can certainly give your input.
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  • GDavis
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    GDavis ·
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    No it is not bachelorette, shoot it is the bridal shower...whoops. It has been a day.
    • Reply
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    Are you referring to a bridal shower? usually someone hosts a bridal shower for you but i have seen brides now a days have a lot of input and stuff.

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    It's rude to host a shower for yourself.

    • Reply
  • GDavis
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    GDavis ·
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    Again, I am not traditional. I can understand where some may find it rude, but I do not plan on having my bridesmaids or Man of Honor or my mom or his mom pay for anything. I don't like money being spent on me. So, I don't find it rude as being more independent.
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  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    That’s okay. You should not plan your shower. Showers are gift giving events and planning your own shower is viewed as rude. If no one offered to throw you a shower, you don’t have one.
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  • GDavis
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    GDavis ·
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    Yes, I am referring to the shower. I do not like it when people throw me parties or spend money (especially now during the pandemic) on me. So, I would purchase the location and assist my bridesmaids in decorating because I just am not a fan of things being thrown for me. I never have.
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    Your FMIL is correct. You should provide the guest list, and input on the date, but throwing yourself a party to "shower" yourself with gifts is typically considered poor etiquette. That being said, I'm sure if you wanted to contribute financially, the hostess would probably appreciate it!

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  • GDavis
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    GDavis ·
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    And that's where I disagree because I am self conscious and have never liked anything thrown for me. I usually have done my own thing for myself because I have had little to no support growing up so, I don't want or need other people doing something I normally do myself. I would assist my bridesmaids like decorating and what not and purchasing the venue location, but other than that and giving them ideas...I just like having things done a very specific way and don't like surprises.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Well, you asked. You're quite literally throwing an entire party for people to bring you gifts, which is the opposite of independent.

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
    • Flag
    Out if the bridal party only one of my bridesmaids are in state. The one that is in state, is a college student and didn’t have time to really “plan” the shower on her own. We planned my shower together, my mom and her paid for mostly everything, and we had it at one of my sisters houses. No one knew I had any part in the planning. My bridesmaid sent the invites and hosted at the shower.
    • Reply
  • GDavis
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    GDavis ·
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    I'm not traditional and I am fairly independent on a lot of things that i do. I run it by individuals, but I do not allow surprises to happen. That's who I am. To be called rude or poor etiquette on my part isn't what I would consider it. I am not planning it as much as making sure my ideas are portrayed in a certain way. It is the independent individual in me. Because if you look at others to ensure you can get to and from a location in NYS winters is something that needs to be considered let alone my FH and I being able to get get to said venue if they were to choose it. So, there are a ton of variables that they may not see where as I do.
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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    I don’t see a problem with her helping her bridesmaids throw it. I see plenty if parents through their own baby shower and no one bats an eye at them.
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  • GDavis
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    GDavis ·
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    Wow...okay um yeah I did ask, but there is also no need to be hostile in a response either. I would be assisting and I do not see people batting an eye at people throwing their own birthday parties so, what's the difference?
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    That's great and you're welcome to your opinion, however, that's not what the OP asked. She said "should I be able to plan out my own bridal party?" Sure, you're able to throw your own shower, but that doesn't mean you should.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Clearly you've already made up your mind so I'm not sure why you asked for input. Almost everyone here agrees, it's tacky and rude to host your own shower. Do with that what you will. Enjoy your "bridal party!"

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  • GDavis
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    GDavis ·
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    I am the OP and yes I did say that. Sure you're able to add your opinion, but it doesnt mean it'll be taken into consideration.
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  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
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    The problem with this is that the point of a shower is quite literally to shower you with gifts. If you aren’t comfortable with others planning it, will you be comfortable with an entire gift receiving event? May be best to just opt out!
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    I guess I'm not sure why you asked the question then. You asked, "Should I be able to plan out my own bridal party?" so that's why people are answering that question. If you've already made up your mind that you are going to host your own party, that's totally your prerogative. Maybe let us know what question we can help you answer instead of the one you asked? Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    Typically, someone else hosts the bridal shower for the bride, and the bride does not usually take part in the planning process for that (other than to provide the guest list, and maybe to give input as well). To limit the guest list, only invite those you are closest to. Bridesmaids, immediate family, and any friends/family members that you are closest to should be the first to get an invitation.
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