Bridal Shower

The only out of state people I included were bridesmaids, my mom's best friend (she was hosting and wanted to invite her to be nice), and my stepfather's sister (they invited me to their family's even when I was out of state).

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Another issue is a lot of people are OOT lol

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More than 50% of our guest list is out of state. I invited a total of 40 people, and that included 6 out of state bridesmaids, the one aunt, her daughter, and my mom's friend. I didn't invite other out of state aunts, cousins, etc.

I'm planning on your list + grandmas and aunts of the groom. I'll also discuss the guest list with FMIL.

I might consider adding some of those out of town friends as an inclusionary invite. They can always decline.

His friends have wives, and I'm friends with them, but I think I'm going to skip inviting them.

I just did any female invited to the wedding who is within driving distance and a very select number of out of town people.

It’s up to you. You could invite everyone, but personally we just invited people who were within driving distance, and on my side of the guest list. Inviting people from OOT who obviously can’t make it can come off a little gift grabby imo!

I would stick with the locals unless the OOT people are in the wedding party. I agree that it can seem gift grabby to cast the net wide on a bridal shower. It should be your nearest and dearest.

I have family out of state and I knew they would not be coming, however, I still had my cousin send them an invitation. She wanted to cut them, but I told her that it was family politics. That no matter how much sense it makes to us, this will come back around to me in a negative way that someone was not invited even if they will not be going.

I also invited his a few of his friends' wives that have been really nice to me because I felt like they would take it personally. I invited sixty and my cousin was like that is a lot, but I knew half would not go and we are looking at about 30 right now.

I invited all the female guests except my FHs friends girlfriends/wives. I had two friends who came in from Florida for my shower. My FH had one aunt in North Carolina, it felt wrong to invite everyone else and not her. So I sent her an invite to be polite.