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Dedicated July 2020

Bridal shower stress

N, on October 28, 2019 at 9:34 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 5

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My MOH wants to host my bridal shower in my hometown—which is about 10 hours from where I currently live. It makes the most sense since most of my friends and family are there but our wedding is in another state entirely. we are about 5 months from my wedding and the thought of trying to find time to make a special trip there for just a shower makes me stressed. I tried to get it over the holidays when it wouldn’t be a burden for me to take time off work, etc. But my MOH is busy on the days/weekend I looked at and I’m also trying to plan my bachelorette party which will be out of town too.

A t this point I’ve somewhat said I’d rather not do a shower. But I feel like I’m being rude and she asked that I reconsider. Any advice?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Jaime, on October 29, 2019 at 8:48 AM

Devoted April 2020
Rhianna · on October 28, 2019 at 9:48 PM
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Honestly I wish I pushed harder for no bridal shower but my mom really wanted to throw it for me so I gave in and it's scheduled for February. I have a bunch of out of state BMs and they've already booked flights. The stress of knowing how much money people are spending on me has been giving me anxiety, even though none of these pre wedding festivities are required and if they couldn't financially do it then they wouldn't have. It's really sweet that she wants to throw you a bridal shower, but if it's stressing you out, I'd say to not have one. Just let her know how you're feeling.
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Devoted September 2021
Caitlin · on October 28, 2019 at 10:30 PM
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Is there another holiday you can move it to? Maybe farther out? I totally get it as I am also 10 hours from where I grew up. Is it the timing that's stressing you out, or the party itself? If it's the party itself, maybe you should push to not have one. But if it's just the timing, maybe try being more firm about the times you are available. It's perfectly reasonable to not want to make the whole trip there and take off work etc for one event and your MOH should respect that and plan accordingly, even if it means moving the shower out a little. I think that's how I would/will play it (because I might be in the same situation at some point lol.)
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on October 28, 2019 at 10:41 PM
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I traveled for my shower. It was more important to my family than to me, but it was worth it.
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Dedicated April 2020
Krista · on October 29, 2019 at 5:33 AM
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I’m hoping it will work out to have a “shower” a day or two before the wedding since so many people are out of state and out of country! If I were to fly to each pocket of people in my life I’d be out of pto and money before I finished! I’m hoping it will be more of a thanks for being part of my life and for coming party rather than a play games and open presents event since it will be days before the wedding and I’d never expect two (or any) gift. If it’s the symbolism and effort that counts then I’m hoping it will work! Good luck!
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Expert May 2021
Jaime · on October 29, 2019 at 8:48 AM
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This sounds stressful. All of my people are local and I have declined a bridal shower - this would give me too much anxiety. Maybe talk to your MOH about how you are feeling - I get that you don't want to hurt her feelings and it seems like you would only be doing this so she doesn't get upset, but your feelings matter too. If the dates you feel most comfortable going don't work for her, then that is something you should all discuss. My guess is that she doesn't want to have you feel anxious and miserable.
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