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Just Said Yes July 2021

Bridal Shower opinions

Glen, on May 28, 2020 at 12:35 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 9

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My future sister-in-laws are insisting that I have a bridal shower as they want to do something special for me. With that said, I’m not so keen on the idea. I guess my reasoning behind it is that my family would not be able to attend the event because they are on the other side of the country and although I think the games are cute for other people, I don’t think they resemble who I am. I don’t want to go throw the bridal shower motions just to have a bridal shower therefor I don’t think it’s necessary to have one. What’s everyone’s thoughts on having one verse not having one? For those that have had own, what are the things you would have done differently? Why was having a bridal shower important to you? For those that chose not to have one, do you regret it? Why did you choose not to have one? Also for all brides out there what are some non traditional ideas that you’ve done?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Naikesha, on June 4, 2020 at 4:46 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on May 28, 2020 at 12:38 AM
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I think it’s fun to have one BUT I do understand that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I had a lot of fun at my bridal shower getting to spend time with my friends. It sounds like they want to do something for you though. Maybe you can suggest a bridal luncheon with not as many people?
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Master October 2022
Jana · on May 28, 2020 at 12:45 AM
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Accept that they want to do this for you and have fun. It's common to have more than one shower when people are scattered around the country.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on May 28, 2020 at 1:00 AM
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We had a wedding shower, and we insisted it was co-ed. We still had the silly games, but mostly it was hanging out with people, which we really enjoyed.
However.
If you *really* don't want one, you don't have to have one! As suggested, you could switch it to a bridal luncheon. Or you could talk with your FSILs and explain why you are uncomfortable.
Please don't do things you don't want to do.
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Super December 2020
Anais · on May 28, 2020 at 1:47 AM
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I’m totally in the same mindset as you. My FMIL wanted to throw me one where she lives in NY and where my entire fiancé’s family lives. We live on the west coast, as do my parents and I’ve lived in so many places that I have friends from all over the country. I didn’t want a party anywhere because my friends aren’t able to travel to the wedding and also to a bridal shower. I told my FMIL no and then COVID happened so she’s not planning on having one still.
It’s very sweet that people want to celebrate with you but if you won’t be comfortable/happy there I don’t see the point.
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Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on May 28, 2020 at 5:27 AM
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I think Melle's suggestion of a smaller luncheon is a great alternative! Then you wouldn't have the games issue.
We've been living together for years at this point, so we don't need household items. Instead, my mom is throwing me a lingerie shower.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on May 28, 2020 at 12:45 PM
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"For those that chose not to have one, do you regret it? Why did you choose not to have one?"
I didn't have one because I didn't want one and I absolutely do not regret it. I chose not to have one because I have never enjoyed attending showers, I don't understand parties that are just for gifts (I didn't want gifts), and to me, they don't add anything to the wedding experience. The wedding itself is sufficient celebration.
And for the record, it's absolutely fine to say "thanks, but no thanks" to your FSILs' offer of a party you don't want.
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Super September 2019
Courtney · on May 28, 2020 at 12:56 PM
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I did have one and it was really so I could see lots of my friends and family in one place before the wedding. I live out of the country so it was amazing to get to see so many people before the big day. If my family/friends weren’t going to attend I wouldn’t have wanted one either. I asked that it be very informal. Just brunch food and some games at my aunts house - nothing elaborate. I think the idea of having a bridal brunch or something along those lines could work. Then you could limit the guest list massively and do relaxed something with just your closest family.
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Master May 2020
Kari · on May 28, 2020 at 1:59 PM
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You are the bride-to-be, so if you don't want a shower, don't have one. I personally am not a fan of showers and never wanted a bridal shower myself. Having to open gifts and have genuine reactions to them while everyone is watching is not fun for me. I don't even like opening Christmas or birthday gifts in front of groups of people. I have zero problem speaking in front of crowds or presenting to an audience, but I don't like being doted on if that makes sense.

We're doing a minimony this weekend on our original date and some coworkers put together a basket for me and gave it to me at the end of a meeting, so I sort of had a super mini virtual shower. It was so sweet of them and I really loved what was in my basket - champagne, fresh flowers, a gift certificate to a florist that is making me a last minute bridal bouquet - but it still felt a bit awkward for me. It did really brighten my day, but if I had to endure hours of being "showered" I don't think I would enjoy it.

It totally is fine if you don't want a shower, and it absolutely makes sense that you wouldn't want one if those closest to you would not be able to participate. You don't have to do any of the "pre-wedding" parties if you don't want, and if you don't want them you won't feel like you missed out on not having them. Don't let other people tell you what you should or shouldn't want and trust your own judgement when it comes to what you are comfortable with. It's 100% totally okay not to have a shower and not to replace it with any other activity if that is what you want.
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Super September 2020
Naikesha · on June 4, 2020 at 4:46 AM
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I think that you should appreciate them wanting to do something special for you. It's their way of showing acceptance of you and welcoming you to their family. You don't have to do the bridal games. It can just be something quick a brunch/ lunch. The purpose is to shower the bride with gifts and advice for a healthy relationship. I would allow them to do it. Just be strict that you want something quick 3 hours- brunch/lunch.
look at the glass half full.
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