We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

F
Dedicated September 2020

Bridal shower drama

Furure Mrs., on July 9, 2020 at 12:55 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 8
Saved Save
Reply

So a few weeks back my sister asked me if I would be okay with having a virtual bridal shower because she really wanted to throw one, but isn't able to get away from work for long enough to throw it in our home town or where I live. I was really excited because it was so thoughtful of her to host a shower for me.

Then she told my mom her plan and my mom immediately got defensive and said that it was a terrible idea and she shouldn't even bother because she didn't think any of her sisters would be able to figure it out. She asked my sister to just drop it, but when she realized that wasn't going to happen she said fine I'll have my sisters and Taylor come to my house for it and we will all connect on zoom through one computer. Then my sister called her the other day and was telling her what she had planned, and my mom got really short with her and said that she doesn't enjoy games, and that it's too much (all she has planned are two quick games and gift opening). Even when she said she ordered a cake and asked me to pick it up before the shower my mom (and dad for that matter) told her to just cancel it because my mom won't eat any of it.

My mom seems so annoyed about the fact that my sister even wanted to throw me a shower and it's really disheartening. I get that she didn't originally plan to host it, but she was the one who requested it to be this way. At this point I feel like she is going to be miserable about it the whole time and kill the mood. She has never been like this, so I was hoping some of you would have some advice on how to deal with someone who is being so pessimistic about things?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Jodie, on July 9, 2020 at 2:37 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag

    Tell her that if she doesn't want to participate in the shower, she doesn't have to attend.

    • Reply
  • Sinaya
    Devoted August 2022
    Sinaya ·
    • Flag

    I wonder if she's upset because she wanted to be more involved in the planning. Have you had a talk with your mom to find out what exactly she's angry about? And have you let her know how excited you are about it and that you would appreciate positive vibes that day?

    • Reply
  • F
    Dedicated September 2020
    Furure Mrs. ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    When my sister first said she wouldn't be able to come down to host a shower she said that it was fine and she didn't really feel like planning one anyways. So I don't think she's upset about not being involved. I keep telling her how much I'm looking forward to it and that I'm so excited to see all of my aunts because I don't see them often, but then she just complains about how my sister is trying to make it too fancy.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I agree with PP. she's kind of ruining something that's supposed to be really good. it's nice your sister wants to do that for you

    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Expert May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    It honestly sounds like your mom is still mourning the idea of how she probably always pictured your bridal shower would be, and is therefore maybe unknowingly reacting this way. Maybe just have a conversation with her to acknowledge that fact, and commiserate together; that might help her work through her grief and come to terms with it better.

    • Reply
  • Sinaya
    Devoted August 2022
    Sinaya ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    In that case I would just let her know that the shower means a lot to you and you're grateful that your sister is throwing it, and you would appreciate it if she attends with an open mind and not bring any negativity into the mix. If she can't do that then she can decide not to attend.

    • Reply
  • Kerin
    Super February 2021
    Kerin ·
    • Flag

    Agreeing with PPs here. She can either be supportive or not attend. I would personally tell her that your feelings are being hurt by her negativity and you really pictured her being much more supportive and engaged in this event. Smiley sad I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Is it possible there's something else going on, completely unrelated, and maybe she's projecting her energy on this subject?

    I really would have a heart to heart with her on it...good luck!!

    • Reply
  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
    • Flag

    If talking to her to figure out why she is so negative about everything doesn't work my response would be "With all due respect...the games and the cake and the shower are not for you, Mom....so if you are uninterested, please do us a favor and don't attend so the rest of us can enjoy the day." Do not let negative people ruin your happy time. You can't control how people act, you can only control your actions to them. Parent or not, that doesn't give them the right to decide what should or shouldn't be done for your shower if they are not hosting.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics