Bridal Shower Alternatives

Instead of gifts, you can ask everyone to bring recipes! Or, you can call it a Bridal Luncheon instead of a Bridal Shower, where people don't bring gifts, but just celebrate the upcoming wedding.

I agree with Lisa. I had a bridal brunch to celebrate. It was a blast (and although it was not requested or required, some attendees still brought gifts.).

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I love the idea of a bridal brunch. (Everyone loves a mimosa 🍾!!)


Did you write on the invitations no gifts? Did you have it at a restaurant or home?

View Quoted Comment Thanks Lisa! I would definitely appreciate recipes and it takes the pressure off.

It did say something about no gifts at the bottom of the invite (but people who brought gifts anyway jokingly told my sisters, the hostesses “you don’t tell me what to do”. Lol!). The brunch was hosted at an event space with full out decor and catered food, but my sisters went all out for the brunch since I’m a CoVID bride and our wedding plans seriously got downsized. A brunch at someone’s home or a restaurant you like with a private or semi private room would work just fine!!

View Quoted Comment Okay. Awesome. Thanks so much! I think that sounds fun.

We had a Bridal Brunch at my house, we just decorated and did finger snacks and mimosas! Some still brought gifts, but that’s always expected!

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You and a couple others mentioned this option and I love it! Would you say it's like a shower but just sans gifts (like still had games/activities for everyone)?

View Quoted Comment Yes! I bought some games on amazon and then diy’d some, we all got tipsy and had a blast. I still dressed up and decorated, we also did a trial cake that day and I definitely recommend!

View Quoted Comment This sounds like the most perfect day!!!

View Quoted Comment I think so! I think I will ask my MOH to just say bring a recipe instead of a gift or something to that effect on the invite. But still have games!

View Quoted Comment This sounds like it was fun! Thanks for sharing!

Definitely second the “bridal brunch” or “bridal luncheon.” Technically etiquette-wise I’m not sure you’re supposed to say “no gifts” outright, just avoid calling it a shower and don’t put registry info on the invites to get the message across, but that has always been a little murky to me when you’re trying to clarify that this is NOT a shower which is traditionally a gift giving event. I would personally appreciate the clarity if I received an invite to a “bridal brunch” that said explicitly “please no gifts.”


Word of warning though, I told my family I didn’t want a big bridal shower (for many reasons) and one aunt said they’d like to do something for me anyway that avoided all the aspects of a big bridal shower that I didn’t want. So I said OK, thank you, a small brunch with just our family would be fun. I emphasized that I didn’t want it to be called a shower and I didn’t want any games and if people misunderstood and brought gifts, I would thank them and maybe open it off to the side somewhere, but I didn’t want to sit down in front of everyone and open a bunch of gifts - introvert’s worst nightmare. Well, my aunts who were hosting totally called it a bridal shower on the invitations AND put my registry info on them. Everyone brought gifts, of course, and they asked me to open them in front of everyone. The only request they honored was the “no games” because they don’t like them either. I’ve learned my lesson and if we’re lucky enough to have kids, I will not be having a baby shower. 🙄

I’ve heard of doing a bridesmaid luncheon instead which older generations are familiar with. The bride hosts the party and it’s a thank you for the bridesmaids. But you could change the name and invite close friends/relatives not in the wedding party to celebrate with you. Be specific what is going on when you invite them to avoid any confusion. But be aware that some people will give you gifts regardless so accept those graciously with prompt thank you notes.

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Thanks for input! Sorry you had to endure the gift opening, that is the #1 part I want to avoid!! haha

My MOH is planning it so hopefully that won't happen! I think we will call it a bridal brunch, and maybe add something about no gifts, and cross my fingers.

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Okay. Thanks! I have heard of the bridal luncheon. Hopefully, we can provide enough details to not confuse anyone.

I think it is fine if some people truly want to bring a gift but I'd like for there to be no pressure to bring one and no formal opening of gifts.

View Quoted Comment The gift opening is the worst 😂 but yes I think if it’s your MOH you should be fine. For me it was a problem of the older generation not being able to process that there was another way to do this.