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Marissa
Just Said Yes November 2021

Bridal Shower Advice

Marissa, on June 27, 2021 at 9:03 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 8
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Good Morning Everyone!
First time poster here! So I am having a destination wedding this November. I am super conscious of the expense that comes attached for destination weddings with guests so for that reason I initially opted not to have pre-wedding events (Bachelorette & Shower). Now I am having second thoughts about the shower and thinking I want to do one. I don’t want gifts, I just want to spend an afternoon with some of my favorite folks and have a good time. I also see it as an opportunity for some of my guests in different friend groups to meet each other and have a general acquaintance and familiarity when they see one another at the wedding in November.

I know the bride is removed from planning these events but I I have my younger sister as MOH (I don’t have any additional Bridesmaids) & want to pitch an idea to her to give her something to work with and go from there. With that being said are full meals typical at showers or could we get away with refreshments, desserts and appetizers?
Thanks for any input!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on June 29, 2021 at 7:29 PM
  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
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    I wouldn't call it a shower then - traditionally a shower is meant to include gifts. You could just have a pre-wedding brunch.

    Full meal doesn't need to be served but there must be some kind of food for sure.

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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    As AJ said, I would call it a bridal luncheon. A shower denotes gifts, as the intent is to "shower" the bride with gifts. What to serve food-wise depends on what time of day. If you have it during lunch time (or any meal-time), you need to serve the equivalent of a full lunch (it could be sandwich trays from a deli or something like that- doesn't have to be fancy).
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  • A
    Just Said Yes January 2022
    Ashley0113 ·
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    When we were considering a destination wedding we were going to have an engagement cocktail party here so we could celebrate with friends. Would that possibly be an option for you instead of a “shower”? I agree— shower tends to indicate gifts.
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    Agreed, don't call it a shower, a shower implies gifts (as in you are being "showered" with gifts).

    I'd plan a pre-wedding get together and also have a hand in planning it yourself if you want. There might be "rules" that brides don't plan their bridal showers and bachelorettes, but I don't think the same applies to a pre-wedding get together. It could be a brunch, luncheon, picnic, backyard bbq, day trip, or other fun activity! I think if the purpose is just to get excited about your upcoming wedding and have some guests get to know each other, then you have a lot of options and can frame it however you think would work best, and it doesn't need to exist under the guise of some "traditional" pre-wedding party.

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  • Marissa
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Marissa ·
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    Wow this is great! Tbh I’ve never thought of it that way. I don’t mind calling it a brunch or luncheon since it would probably be around that time. I love the idea of doing an activity too! I just want something casual where we can all gather have fun and maybe play some games too.


    Since it is destination wedding them coming to the wedding is a gift enough for me.
    Thank you for the input!
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  • Emily
    Savvy July 2021
    Emily ·
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    Good idea! Yes, I would just call it a Bridal Tea, Bridal Luncheon, or Bridal Brunch depending on what you’re serving. You can emphasize on the invitations that it’s a meet-and-greet event. Some people will still probably bring gifts, and best etiquette is to thank them for the gift and set it aside (open if afterwards) so as to not make other feel bad for not bringing one and send a thank you note as usual.
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  • J
    Judith ·
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    A shower without presents, strictly social, is called a bridal luncheon, or bridal tea ( light supper served. ) It is perfectly fine for a bride or bride and family member to give such strictly social parties, and there is a long tradition of them for the century before bachelor parties became popular. Because the bride, or her family, is hosting, It would be seen as rude to gather gifts in a shower. But for the bride ( without without family) to pay and be hostess, as no guests will have any expense or gifts for the bride.
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  • J
    Judith ·
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    **But okay for the bride, with or without family, to pay and be hostess, as no guests will have any expense or gifts for the bride.
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