bridal party

I don't think its selfish to want a party at all! that sucks that she is being that way especially if it is one of the few things you are actually asking of them. Maybe start planning one or ask the bridesmaids to plan one without the MOH. I am sure if they are throwing ideas out there they also would like to be involved in the planning process.

It's not selfish to want one, but it is rude to plan one for yourself. Five months is still more than enough time for someone else to offer to host a bach for you.

I don't think it's rude for you to want to now plan one for yourself you thought someone else was going to plan it for you and things fell through. Maybe get together with the other bridesmaids and just come up with a plan?

I think there's still time for them to plan something though.

I don't think it's selfish to want to have a bachelorette party. Can you reach out to your other maid of honor and see if there is a plan? It does seem rude of your matron of honor to shut everything down she doesn't want to do (personally that's my opinion) since it isn't her bachelorette. I wouldn't care if the bride wanted to do something I hated, I'd still do it because it's for the bride!

It is not selfish to want one. My Bridal party is planning mine as a surprise I just know the date. Your MTOH or one of your bridesmaids need to be a leader to where they can throw out ideas to what to do through out that day/night of the party. I doubt everyone will agree on everything, but maybe somehow all the opinions of different parts of your day. I have been to one Bach party where the bride planned it because she did not have a bridal party.

Def not rude to plan your own! Currently I'm having a big part in planning mine. I made a list of the places I wanna go and my MOH made a list, people I wanna invite and I let her take care of the time management that day. Maybe sit down with the bridesmaids and you guys can all talk!

Thank you ladies all so much. I appreciate all the feedback.

You should give the other maids a little time to see if they are willing to plan without MOH. It doesn't hurt to ask! And if that fails, you can definitely plan your own. The etiquette is you can plan any party you want if you're not asking for gifts, otherwise someone else should plan and host the party. And bach parties don't require gifts so you're safe!

Yeah I agree that it is not rude to plan your own but I would suggest if something grandiose like a hotel stay you at least pay your half. If it is something that you want the girls to cover then let them decide. I would say talk to your MTOH and the other bridesmaids and nicely say that you know that there have been issues but would it be possible to still have a bachelorette party as you were excited when one was in the works but that you know things kind of fell to the side and maybe they will get the hint that they can do a little something. I have been a bridesmaid and have planned with the MOH to do a bachelorette so does not need to be just the MTOH.

Honeslty it's nothing wrong with planning your own and its acceptable to want one.

It is def not rude to want one and you should not feel bad about that. I personally would not plan my own, but others have and in my opinion it fine. Some people are not good planners, maybe that is what you have in your group. I would reach out to the others and ask if anything is being planned before you start planning your own.

You are not selfish at all. In all honesty i planned my own party but took into consideration of everyones dates and tips. i would definitely think the typical bachelorette type parties would be hard for a pregnant MOH, But at the end of the day this is about you and your wants.

Hi ladies so my maid of honor has decided to not be in the wedding or at the wedding after all so I guess that makes things easier now. Thank you all for all your help.

View Quoted Comment Omg I’m sorry! But maybe it’s for the best. I don’t think it’s a problem to be a part of the planning process. You can get together with your girls and plan a girls night or girls trip.

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That sound's like the best decision for all involved. I had to ask one of my BM's to back out and step down also, sometimes people bring unnecessary chaos into your life. It's not selfish to want a bachlorette party and maybe your Matron of Honor or other BM's will be able to plan one for you if you talk to them about it. Good luck!