Bachelorette Trip Decline

Did they already book the air bnb? I would just tell them that you can't financially do your wedding, honeymoon, their wedding and bach. I think they will understand considering how expensive weddings can be.

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Yea they already booked the airbnb to my knowledge.

View Quoted Comment I would let them know immediately l, if they already booked the air bnb and are relying on your payment, I'd pay it just to save face. But telling them ASAP so they can rebudget is best idea.

I don't think you'd be a jerk to back out, but if they already booked the Airbnb based on your original plan of attending, I think it would be a good idea to still agree to cover your part of the cost for that. They might have booked somewhere smaller and/or cheaper if they had known that you weren't going. Definitely let them know ASAP if you decide not to go, so that they don't include you when they book any additional activities or accommodations.

Did you agree to the price of the price of the airbnb or did you only confirm that you would be available for the date? It's ok to back out, but of you agreed to the per person cost before the airbnb was booked, it would be nice to pay them the amount you agreed to for lodging. If they booked it before confirming budgets, you have a leg to stand on.

You also need to tell the organizer asap that you can no longer attend in case of additional group activities and accomodations

You are not responsible at all to cover costs if you are not attending. All plans should have been made before you were approached to give you the opportunity to make an informed decision if you want or are able to attend. Many people cannot and do not want to go on weekend trips for a number of reasons and they are made to feel like they do not support the bride at all, when the people planning the party don’t care and insist that it is mandatory to attend, not optional. That is where the stigma and peer pressure come in that make the destination weekends not fun for some people.

It was booked, but more important is whether the host has a flexible cancellation policy that it is fully refundable. If you are as you say far in advance of the date and it's easy to replan then I would not feel responsible. If they will be liable for costs and you knowingly committed ahead of the booking, that is probably something you should have double checked and should reimburse them for.

If you were blindsided by costs that were not anticipated and plans were made without consulting you, then depending on what you were told, I might offer a compromise amount, but I agree it is not necessary.