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Just Said Yes June 2021

Bachelorette plans

Samantha, on August 18, 2020 at 9:04 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 6

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My wedding is in June 12, 2021. I picked all my bridal party and my maid of honor is my cousin. With planning the events for my wedding she’s been having excuses on top of excuses. My cousin which is the maid of honor volunteered to do books for my bridal party. I gave her a date as to when I would need them. The date past and she told me she wasn’t able to complete them due to her being busy. That’s one excuse from her she didn’t do the book and I did it all on my own. I’m planning on going to Cancun Mexico for my bachelorette for the weekend of April 2021 only 2 and a half days. I asked all my bridal party and everyone agrees on going. As far as my maid of honor who suppose to be planning this with me she’s having excuses on how I’m going to be broke before the wedding and how it’s not a good idea. Everything for my wedding is paid for already as far as my photographer, venue and church my fiancé and I paid for everything. I believe she doesn’t want to participate in anything I plan to do. What do you think I should do? I’m thinking about telling her she doesn’t have to be a maid of honor because she’s not helping with anything.

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Latest activity by Samantha, on August 24, 2020 at 4:18 PM

Dedicated September 2020
Jene · on August 18, 2020 at 9:19 AM
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Maybe she can't afford the trip and if that's true, that's totally find. I would ask her again if she still wants to be the MOH and explain to her what her duties are. Ask her if she is able to handle them. If not talk to your BMs and see if anyone of them can assist her.
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on August 18, 2020 at 10:04 AM
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A MOH is there to support you on your wedding day. She's not there to help do everything in advance. She and / or other bridesmaids may help coordinate and host or cohost your shower / bach party.
This year has been a very stressful year for a lot of people, and wedding is 10 months away, perhaps she is financially strapped and cannot afford the demands you are wanting of you. You should talk to her one on one and let her know if she needs an out you're OK with it. Don't make her feel bad, be understanding, you don't know what she's going through personally and may not want to share those details.
It's great that you have everything paid for, if you are demanding that the bridal party all go to you Bach party in Mexico then you should be responsible for footing the bill. If it's not mandatory then each BM or MOH pay on their own and help contribute to your portion.
If you don't want her as your MOH then that's up to you but know you just removing her because she did not meet your expectations could cause a loss in friendship.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on August 18, 2020 at 10:45 AM
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The title of maid of honor and bridesmaid in no way implicates any sort of “duties” they are supposed to perform, with the exception of standing with you on your wedding day in the attire you have chosen for them. They are by no means obligated to do anything above or beyond this. If they volunteer to, that’s great! But your expectation should not be that they in any way “owe” you anything more. I definitely do not think you should demote your MOH. You obviously gave her that title because she is important to you. I think you need to modify your expectations of your bridal party. If you want/need some thing done for the wedding, you should plan on doing it yourself. If you have small things you need help with, you can certainly ask any of them to help you, but do not have the mindset that it is somehow their job to do so. This is definitely not worth ruining a friendship over.
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on August 18, 2020 at 1:34 PM
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I completely agree with all of this 100%. Also, going to Mexico for a bachelorette is very expensive!!! I don't know many people who can do that...
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on August 24, 2020 at 4:12 PM
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Have you asked her if she is able to afford the bachelorette plans, or maybe she is speaking on behalf of other guests? My MOH did some planning for my bachelorette, but none for our wedding. I've never heard of a MOH or BM doing any wedding planning.
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Just Said Yes June 2021
Samantha · on August 24, 2020 at 4:18 PM
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Yes I meant for my bachelorette. I was saying my wedding things are all payed for but MOH is basically stating I’m going to be broke due to me wanting to go to Cancun
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