Bachelorette party

This is ridiculous! Wow! I am doing a 2 night getaway to our wine region and I feel bad about asking the girls to shell out $300 each (everyone is ok with this, the cost covering accommodation, most meals + wine tours) but holy guacamole, $1200+!

MOH has poorly executed quite an ambitious plan by not consulting the others and now you are all scratching your heads because no one knows what is happened. Frankly if it were me I would not at all contribute to decorations. I agree with you, you weren’t consulted, and you wouldn’t agree to them anyway (let’s be real, it is totally unnecessary) and the MOH will just have to suck it up and pay for them as a consequence of making this decision without seeking input.

The Bride needs to wake up and smell the roses. You cannot request bachelorette attendees to pay for essentially costumes just to match while on the bachelorette trip. This is ridiculous and a total waste of money and resources. If she wants you all to have these three tshirts and bathing suits so bad, she can shout you all for them herself.

If I were in your shoes, I would back out of this bachelorette party right now!

THIS! And I would strongly consider the idea of dropping out of the WP.

I'm not even kidding.

I agree with everyone else - RUN! There are plenty of people who don't even get 5 day vacations for their normal lives. I could not even imagine asking any of my bridal party to participate in this nonsense.

You know: I was asked to be a groomsman a few years ago ... but I dropped out of the WP because I didn't like the idea of wearing suspenders! I can't stand them.

Yes , it's another story but my point is: if you don't like what the bride and/or the groom is/are doing and envisioning: Run, especially when money is an issue.

Okay this is nuts LOL. I consider myself for be very "extra", especially with wedding planning, and this is totally insane. I will say, my bridesmaids paid for all of our lodging, and we did a pole dancing class that they all paid for (my part included). I asked them to wear a specific color one night of the trip, but most of them already had that color, or wanted to buy something new for the trip - it wasn't a requirement. And my girls didn't pay for a single drink or meal the entire trip. I opened every bar tab with my card.

It's one thing if you all discussed this trip beforehand and were all happy with the plans, this is INSANE. I would strongly suggest at the very minimum voicing your issues with the MOH, or bride, whoever is doing the most of the planning. If they can't give, back out!

Oh. my. goodness!! Decor?!?!? Matching custom outfits?!?!?! NONE of that should be on you. That is the responsibility of whoever opts for it - in this case, the host and the bride, respectively. Point blank period.

In addition to echoing PP's comments, I would just chime in and agree with you: that buying a house is wayyy more important than a bachelorette trip that seems to be causing a lot of stress for the attendees (not just you either!), AND may put a strain on some friendships (plural), AND is gonna cost an exorbitant amount of money). PPs have advised to back out of the bachelorette due to the complete lack of regard for attendee's budgets, the entitlement that the host seems to be conveying, etc. (if I may summarize what I took away from most PPs). And I wholeheartedly agree with them!

On top of that, you mentioned that you and your FH are under contract for a house - congratulations!!! There are lots of little expenses that seem to pop up when buying and moving into one's own house - even little stuff like air filters, hooks to go on the back of the closet door, new decor because walls are different sizes in a new space, etc. My advice is to prioritize the new house (and, in a larger sense, you and your FH's future) above a bachelorette that many people seem to agree is getting way out of hand, and it's still weeks away. I'm just thinking that you may kick yourself in the not-too-distant future if these unexpected costs pop up....and you just blew north of $1k on a bachelorette party that constantly produced feelings of regret and stress....when you could have put that money towards covering those house costs more comfortably.

Best of luck!! Please let us know what ends up happening!

This is so excessive. When my husband was best man and planned a bachelor party for his friend, he took into consideration budget and set up everything to be as cost effective and simple as possible. They rented an AirBnB on a lake for a 3-day weekend, did paintball, went to a gaming/arcade center, did a brewery tour, had nice meals out at restaurants, and had craft beer all weekend. My husband probably spent close to $800-1000 out of pocket as best man and asked the guys to pay a set all-inclusive fee for the weekend, which was about $300-$400 per person and included all activities, alcohol, food, lodging, tips, taxes, etc. Some of the guys balked at the cost initially but once they realized they didn't have to pay an additional cent for anything the entire weekend, they all thought it was a great value.

I would never, in a million years, drop more than a few hundred dollars on a bachelorette. Maybe there will be a point where a girls getaway sounds great and a thousand bucks seams reasonable but I highly doubt it unless I'm friends with everyone going and have a fair say in activities. I would not pay that much money to go to a place I don't like with people I don't know and buy clothes I will never wear again to do things that don't interest me.