B
Just Said Yes November 2022

Bachelorette Party Unequal Payments? Am i missing something?

B, on May 11, 2021 at 10:03 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 41
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I was invited to attend a bachelorette party in which the AirBnB rate to split per person has been determined by “taking into consideration stages and careers of each person attending” and the planners have decided unequal rates... Is this a new normal thing? It seems weird to have Shelly pay $150 because she’s a dancer and Sally pay $400 because she’s a doctor. What am I missing?

41 Comments

Latest activity by Peyton, on May 19, 2021 at 11:54 PM
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    Wow I have never heard of this before. That is extremely presumptuous on the part of the planners. It is nice for a person who has a higher paying job to *offer* to pay more, but nobody gets to *demand* that person pay more. The planners should have asked everyone's budget and planned an evenly-split trip accordingly. Again, I think it's generous for someone with morw wealth to offer to pay more and giving someone who is struggling a break is the right thing to do in certain situations, but that needs to be decided as a group rather than dictated
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    I should note, for many years I was the struggling friend, and when my friends wanted to go to concerts and plays, they regularly covered my ticket because they knew I wouldn't be able to join otherwise. But I never asked for it and my friends never demanded that others cover my spot, this was all decided as a group
    • Reply
  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag
    This is absurd… lol
    • Reply
  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
    • Flag
    Definitely not normal. I have no problem helping cover someone's cost if they needed it and asked, but I find it rude that the planners are assuming the person making more money isn't using it towards something else. When you make more money, you normally have higher bills..not just extra money sitting around to pay extra for a trip lol
    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted April 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    Yeah this is crazy. If people volunteer to spend more than others that’s their prerogative. No one can assume people’s financial standings. I’d be pissed.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    Yeah that’s odd and the organizer is overstepping comparing people’s personal finances.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    That’s extremely rude of the planner to figure out everyone’s personal finances.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agreed. None of her business.
    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    Sounds like the kind of party I'd skip out on


    Doesn't the planner know that a person in a higher paying job may have more student debt than a lower paying job? That a person who just bought a house may be in more debt than someone who lives at home?
    This is so presumptious and nosy
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    WOW! This is a new one for me and I am as shocked as you are. I would give this a miss for sure or otherwise tell them you are only comfortable with paying the cost per person and not on some arbitrary figure they've calculated.

    Also, I am a lawyer. Am I rolling in money? Absolutely not! I am a junior that is paid nothing like what the TV makes people think lawyers earn. I can barely afford my weekly pilates class because money is tight, but I am sure had I been invited to this hot mess the planners would have charged me more since I am a lawyer. Ridiculous!

    • Reply
  • S
    Expert November 2021
    Sara Online ·
    • Flag

    That is absolutely not normal whatsoever!!

    • Reply
  • JM Sunshine
    JM Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    Welcome to the new USA!
    • Reply
  • P
    Savvy April 2023
    Peyton ·
    • Flag

    Very odd. I would be upset and ask for clarification. It doesn’t have to be an unpleasant conversation, but I would want an explanation

    • Reply
  • devotedlydavis
    Devoted March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
    • Flag
    Wow! I think this is a presumptuous move as they can’t possibly know everyone’s personal obligations (debt payments, mortgage/rent, etc) to make the call only based on where they are in their career. Do they actually know what everyone makes or are they assuming? I agree that it would be nice of those that can afford more to offer, but even split is the most equitable way to go.
    • Reply
  • NewEnglandSettler
    NewEnglandSettler ·
    • Flag
    Whoa. That is insane.
    • Reply
  • B
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    B ·
    • Flag
    So I have no idea how to respond, there are 13 VERY different women (with Bride). 3 sisters offered and wanted to pay for the Bride, so the planner determined unequal amounts for them. The sisters just rolled with the conversation and said okay.


    Completely agree, makes sense to allow people to offer and choose to pay more and it’s their choice. Also, agree with understanding different budgets & think the planning process could have unfolded differently.
    But what do I do? The planner demanded everyone pay a $100 minimum up front, which we all did, before learning about the per person different rates. Now what? I feel slightly robbed of $100 & I do want to spend a great weekend with my girlfriend/the Bride, but how can anyone possibly enjoy themselves knowing 6 people have to cover for the others?
    Finally, the planner determined all of this by her assumption of earnings based upon job titles. I feel like it was sort of rude.... Ive never even met the planner, she just knows what I do for a living.
    Advice on going and having fun? Advice on eating $100 and not going?
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I've never heard of this. And I think it is absolutely insane and rude. It's rude because you don't know people's situations. Shelly the dance may not make a lot but maybe she lives with her parents and really doesn't have any bills while Sally lives on her own and is in debt from getting her degree.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Agree with this 100%
    • Reply
  • B
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    B ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    tenor.gifLololololol

    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    If I was you I'd try and get in contact with the planner and tell her how that isn't going to work for you. I'd also before talking with her talk to the other bridesmaids about how everything should be equal and how you all should set a budget on how much everyone is comfortable spending. Then go to her with that amount and tell her that you all decide on this set amount for everyone.
    • Reply

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