Bachelorette party drama

For me personally, yeah that’s too long. Every group is different though. But if you’re hearing feedback that a four-day commitment is too long, you might have to start considering a Plan B. Don’t forget that traditionally, bachelorette parties were usually a night out on the town (dinner, dancing, strip club, lol) and somehow they’ve transformed into multi-day, expensive commitments. Anyway, if it’s local, can they perhaps join you for some of the events, maybe meet you at the beach that day or just join for brunch?

If I can be honest with you, I think your plans are going to be way too much for your crew to commit to. You mentioned your wedding is going to be a 5 hour drive for the group and that you wanted to keep the bachelorette local, but from what you've described, it sounds like it'll nonetheless be a very time consuming and expensive bachelorette, and I don't think they're willing to commit to your plans when they are already going to have to make travel arrangements for your wedding.

It sounds great what you want to do, but your girls might lack the resources needed to actually attend, and given your wedding is a destination wedding (imho), I would be much more modest with your bachelorette plans, and opt for something that is shorter and cheaper for your crew to attend.

I'm sorry you're disappointed. I think you should take one party off your plate and let your MOH plan. Also, keep in mind people may be in financial planning mode. Last year is last year. This year, we have COVID (still), crazy inflation, and war.

Being young doesn't equal not having things going on that are more important than a bachelorette party. If your bridal party can make a Friday afternoon-Sunday, that's awesome. I can't afford to take work off, so what both you and OP described I would have to miss - not because I didn't want to go, but because I have no choice. Overall a bride has to decide whether having everyone at their bach or having the bach they want is more important. Sometimes they both work out and that's great.

What you could do, is plan a one day/overnight thing. Have the ladies meet for lunch/brunch, go to the beach for the afternoon, then go to an airbnb to clean up and go for dinner and go out for drinks. Or to save some money, cook dinner at the house, there's a trend on tik tok with everyone making a charcuterie board or making a special cocktail for the group, which could be a more affordable way to have fun without spending a lot at a bar or club or restaurant.

My bachelorette is going to be halfway between where my bridesmaids are (half are in Nebraska where I'm from, half live in New Jersey where I currently live) so it will be a weekend thing, but my MOH and I are going to go an extra day or two just to have that extra time and anyone who wants to can come early/stay late but it's not required.

My sister's bachelorette when it was in 2020 was going to be a girls weekend tubing down the river and camping and was going to be less than $100 per person for tube rental, camp site, and food & water, it was byob for drinks. That got canceled/postponed due to covid so when rescheduled, we went to a mexican restaurant for lunch, then we all went and got nails done, then went back to the hotel (we had a two bedroom suite that fit all 8 of us) and relaxed, some people napped, some drank and played games, then went for appetizers and trivia at a sports bar, then went back to the hotel, got ready for a late dinner at my sister's favorite sushi place, then we just played games and had a dance party at the hotel. It was chill but fun. It ended up being around $300-400 total for me, for food, drinks, hotel, nails, but not including my flight.

There's lots of options, maybe instead of trying to work with everyone, work with just your MOH and pick a weekend, get the other girls budgets and then tell them when/where it is and what it costs and if they come great if not it's still okay. A couple of my bridesmaids can't make it to my bachelorette and it's not the end of the world, it doesn't impact our friendship or how I feel about them or myself and celebrating at the bachelorette

Just chiming in to say that I do not think you are asking too much of your bridesmaids at all! My FH just had to go on a cross country Wednesday-Sunday bachelor party for reference which ended up being very expensive. That was very kind of you to try to keep the bachelorette more local.

Planning a trip for a group with varying financial situations and familial/job commitments is difficult.

I'd say get the Airbnb at the beach like you wanted for Thursday-Sunday, try to find a weekend in May/June/early September that works for everyone. Perhaps the two complaining that the trip is too long can just arrive on Friday night and you can prorate their costs.

If they are still being difficult and not working with you at all.... have fun with the friends who are being more flexible!

I agree with this. Different groups are different. Some people welcome the excuse for a longer trip! We just need to understand that even within the same group, some people may have different financial situations and commitments.

That being said... I think I may be planning a 4 night trip for my bachelorette party but understand that not everyone can make it all 4 nights!