Bachelorette Party Blues

A lot of people on here are going to tell you that you shouldn’t be planning your own bachelorette party. Even still you won’t be able to accommodate everyone so I suggest finding a weekend most are available and asking a budget they are comfortable with

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I figured, but I am a planner naturally. I was planning where we go, how we get there, and where we stay because I can get it at a good rate, however, they were going to plan everything we do once we're there.

Sorry you are feeling that way. Its frustrating they aren't on board, but a trip to Vegas is a huge commitment and one that a lot of people can't afford (even if they wanted to). It may also be hard for people to admit that, so maybe that's why they've been ignoring you. I would plan something local, maybe get an Airbnb someplace close by for a weekend and just hang out. It doesn't have to be extravagant to be fun.

Whats crazy is they were the ones pushing a destination bacherolette party but I think you're right. I think I'm just gonna let them plan something locally over a weekend.

View Quoted Comment They probably were totally into it when it was still just an idea, but once it became a reality and they had to figure out sitters, budget, etc along with picking a date it probably just got to be too much. I've talked about taking long trips with friends and we're all for it until it comes time to actually plan. I think its rare to actually pull off a trip like this, but I totally get the disappointment.

I am sorry you feel let down. A trip to Vegas is pretty big. Can you maybe do a trip that is closer and less expensive?

Yea, I think I'm going to tell everyone that we can just do something in the area in which we live. It's a lot to do here in Washington DC.

I can understand what your going through, I thought my bridal party would be a lot more excited and happy for me.

View Quoted Comment It’s sucks right! I know if we do something locally they’ll all be on board. I hope it works out with you and your bridesmaids

I planned my own bachelorette party to Vegas .
were my bridesmaids mad that I took the fun away from them? Yeah but I don’t care , I got things planned and booked within a matter of days. Is everybody going? No. But I’m ok with that. It is what it is.

If they really wanted to go, they will find a way. If not , whatever with the people who can go and have a blast. This is about you

That’s what my fiancé says, go with the friends and bridesmaids that can go...from the looks of it only 2 will go out of the 5. He says oh well...have fun with them, you only get married once. He’s also going with maybe 1 or 2 of his groomsmen so we may just combine the entire thing and it may be a total of no more than 10 people total.

It is hard for destination bachelorette party because not everyone is able to afford or the dates might not work for them. You shouldn’t feel bad about that but you need to understand is possible. I’m having a destination wedding so I know my bridal party was having an expense with the wedding alone so I gave the planning to my bridal party so they could plan whatever they were able to afford and surprise me with it. I ended up having a destination bachelorette party from Friday thru Sunday and it worked out just fine with just 4 girls and myself. Sometimes you don’t need much to enjoy and you don’t need that many days either because although flights are cheaper those days you’re paying for an extra or 2 extra days of accommodation, excursions & food.
Everything is very reason so give yourself more time and first ask them what their budget is to work around it. You don’t have to stay local you can go to another nearby city that might cost less and be more convenient for everyone.
Just a thought.

View Quoted Comment It does, not how I imagined it.... I'm glad you can do something locally, have fun!!!!

View Quoted Comment I hate that saying. I can’t snap and make money grow from a tree I can’t say it’s ok I can get fired for not showing up to work. I do not need a job. Please realize that people can’t just go,

You don’t think anyone cares about you or your wedding because they have valid excuses to not travel for a destination party that you’re throwing yourself...yes, you’re definitely being selfish.

I would just go and celebrate with the people who can come. A destination bachelor party can be expensive especially for people who have families. I live in DC too, there’s a lot of fun things you all can do here but if you’re set on going away then go with the group that’s available.

A local party would be less expensive and less stressful for all of you, especially considering the expenses that are being paid out due to the wedding. Some of your Bridal Party may not be able to afford it all but just afraid to tell you. Release yourself of the stress and heartache. Allow them to plan something local. Congratulations and best wishes

You know your friends and family love you and of course they want a week away with you and to party!! But really, pick a long weekend. Taking time off work is hard for everyone. Consider their husbands and kids and it's nearly impossible for some families. Not to mention the cost. Its sad that life is so busy that we can't even get away like this.
I've had to change mine several times. Now I'm the one flying up to Canada since most of my friends and family are up there. It's much easier for me to take 2 days off work and come up on a Canadian long weekend. (which isn't a long weekend here in the US)
BUT, I'm kind of sneaky. Choose where you go carefully! Choose somewhere where your friends and family have to be with you!
I chose cabins on a lake on an big beautiful island. LOL So my sister, who would shop shop shop if we were anywhere near a mall - she can't! Everyone will be forced to be together for the entire weekend. Its beautiful, and works out to about $90 each a night, We can bring our own food and party with our own drinks, play games, etc. Some hiking, wine tasting, kayaking on the lake, Saturday morning artists market, and dancing at the local pub, etc. etc. And my friends and family around me. That's the important part

People not wanting to spend money on a destination bachelorette party is not the same as people not caring about you or your wedding. Travel is expensive and requires a lot of planning and time. I assume all the ladies in your bridal party want to support you, but they have lives and your wedding and all things related to your wedding are not the center of their universe. Is it more important to you that they go with you to Vegas for your bachelorette, or that they come wedding dress shopping with you, help you with things like flowers and invites, join you for pre-wedding pampering, etc? If they only have so much time and money to dedicate you to, and limited extra funds or time off from work, they may just be realizing that a weekend in Vegas is going to use up most of the resources they have and are now getting cold feet.

My MOH and I live in different states, and she's absolutely behind me 100% but I'm also very aware that it can be challenging for her to get time off and she's busy and not rich. There are a lot of things I'd love to share more with her or have her involved with but it just isn't practical. It's 100% normal to be disappointed to have to compromise your bridal experience (especially when they all seemed gung-ho with your bachelorette idea to start), but I'm sure they do love you and want to be with you. Getting schedules to work out and people to spend money is just complicated.

I think the idea to do a local bachelorette in DC will be much easier to coordinate and less stressful for you and your friends. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Hi everyone thank you for your responses, my bachelorette party was this past September and it was really fun. It all came together.