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Savvy July 2021

Bachelor/bachelorette Party

Margouettha, on December 20, 2020 at 8:37 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 20
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Good evening all,
My fiancé and I have decided to have our bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas. The plan is to book a huuuuge house for the bridal party but have separate events/activities for the guys and the ladies (obviously.) 4 of the groomsmen have significant others that are NOT a part of the bridal party. They want to know if they can bring their significant others with them. That messes up the house arrangements and a number of other plans that were set for a certain number of people. Should I allow them to come? If so, how do we go about doing activities? Am I supposed to include them even though they are not a part of the bridesmaids? A part of me feel like it’s not fair to me because I’m the one that would have to deal with the extra people (NOT MY FIANCÉ OR HIS GROOMSMEN) but another part of me feel like if I were in the same situation, I would probably want to go to Vegas with my fiancé also. HELPPPP!!!!

20 Comments

Latest activity by MLS, on December 22, 2020 at 7:10 PM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Ohhh that is super tough. I personally, would not.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    This is a tough one, but personally, I probably wouldn't include them. My reasoning is that if the guys were renting their own house (not sharing a house with you and your bridesmaids), the significant others of the groomsmen likely wouldn't be invited in that scenario. From what you said, the guys are doing different activities than the girls, so it seems like it'd be a totally separate party that the significant others wouldn't be attending even if they did come with on the trip. I don't think it would be your responsibility to entertain them.
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  • Dallas
    Devoted November 2020
    Dallas ·
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    Tough one, but when we did our joint bachelor/bachelorette trip we rented a big cabin in the woods for all of us stay in, and we did invite the SO’s. Only because a few of the bridal party mentioned if they couldn’t bring their SO’s they wouldn’t be able to attend. Which I completely understand that too! So we allowed it.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I wouldn't include them. I've never heard of significant others being invited to bachelor/bachelorette parties before.

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  • Amanda
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Agreed, I was about to point this out also. I have never thought about asking if my significant other can come along even on a girls trip, let alone a bach/bachelorette party. I would suggest talking this out with your FH as I'm sure he isn't planning on anyone bringing significant others also.

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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
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    This is a tough situation, but I personally would not invite the SO's only because I feel like that needs to and should be a fun time for just you both and your wedding party to celebrate. SO's have never really been included in the bachelor/bachelorette parties and with the situation you're describing, it sounds like you and your bridal party would be the ones responsible for entertaining them, which is NOT your responsibility.

    My FH has gone to several bachelor parties in different states and I NEVER would have asked to go with him. It's just an unspoken understanding that SO's don't go to those trips.

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  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
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    Only because this is a co-ed situation with everyone staying in the same house. I wouldn’t stay in a house with other men if my husband wasn’t invited. I would invite everyone’s sig others, including the bridesmaids’, or have two completely separate parties with separate houses.
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  • M
    Savvy July 2021
    Margouettha ·
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    This is what I assumed. Thank you! I just wasn’t sure and don’t want to seem like the bad guy in the situation. But at the end of the day it’s abt what makes me and my FH happy. I feel like we shouldn’t be accommodating ppl just to be nice.
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  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
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    You're welcome! If feelings get hurt, then unfortunately that's not something you can control, but SO's should never expect to be invited on bachelor/bachelorette parties, even if they are joint.

    I hope everything works out and that you all have a great time!

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  • M
    Savvy July 2021
    Margouettha ·
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    Thank you so much !! I appreciate it.
    • Reply
  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    I see both sides of the situation. You could allow them to come but let them know that some of the activities are already set and only for bridal party members? Times when it’s just hanging at the house partying they could be included. Vegas is a big place I’m sure they can entertain themselves. Do the girls all know each other or maybe even one of the other girls?


    If they’re your husband’s friends’ significant others I’d imagine they’re people that you should be friendly with as I’d assume you’ll be spending time with themOver the years. I think even if you can’t make it work they’ll be fine and you won’t be the bad guy. But, I think you should try to find a way if possible.
    Also as a side note my husband went on a work trip to Vegas and I tried really really hard to go with him since I’d never been and we talked about going for years. My work schedule just could accommodate that so i stayed home 😞 could it be something similar?
    • Reply
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    We did a joint trip. Of the 10 wedding party members who attended, two had SO's. We decided to invite them but neither was able to come. Honestly, as someone who has been in this situation, it is difficult. With a coed arrangement, in Vegas, I see why people would want their SO's there. I also wanted to be inclusive of people's SOs.

    At the same time, especially when you have a lot of extra people, it gets difficult logistically as well as financially. I wanted to let our groomsmen's SOs stay in my rental house for the wedding weekend - but that would put me at like 11 people, and I can't even find a house for that many let alone be able to afford it.

    If the SOs can pay their own way, and everyone is splitting the cost of the house, I think that could work. But at the end of the day it comes down to logistics.

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  • M
    Savvy July 2021
    Margouettha ·
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    That is the biggest dilemma. We have a total of 16 people (8 groomsmen and 8 bridesmaids). The house we were thinking of getting fits exactly that. Of course if we allow SO’s to come that would encourage the couples to get their own hotel which would kind of ruin the original arrangement that we had. Which is to celebrate AS A BRIDAL PARTY. There is no way we can get a bigger place so that would mean everyone would have to get their own hotel room. I don’t feel like that is as fun as staying in a house together. I guess it would be best to not invite them. A part of me just feels bad!
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I don't really have an opinion on how you should handle this particular issue. But I feel like this is shining a light on your plans and hinting that they might not be that practical. Planning your own parties and organizing such a big thing, with the associated big expenditures of travel and house rental, all during a pandemic, is probably going to cause you all sorts of stresses beyond this one. Since you are still in the planning phase, I think you'd be doing yourself a big favor if you simplified.

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  • M
    Savvy July 2021
    Margouettha ·
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    This is also a great option.!! Because that is very true. Who knows if the travel will even be possible during that time.
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  • Katelyn
    Savvy May 2017
    Katelyn ·
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    Isn't it 18 people with BP and you and the fiance? Also, traditionally, the BP (MOH and groomsmen) plan/host the bachelor/bachelorette party, so I'm not sure why you seem to planning all alone. DH and I travel a lot with other couples, usually 2-3 couples. Honestly, I would not want to attend a weekend with 17 other people in a house regardless of whether my DH was there. First, the house would need to be huge with at least 4-5 bathrooms. Also, it simply sounds too crowded. 16-18 people is a ton to coordinate time, travel, logistics, activities, bookings, and a ton of headaches and conflict around choosing where to eat, where to drink, what shows to see, etc. I never travel in groups larger than 5 b/c it is awful to make these decisions with too many people. Unless I knew the BP really well, I would have very little desire to celebrate as a BP (and likely spend a lot of money) with folks I barely know and without my DH. Finally, covid makes this a very, very risky idea. Even if everyone get tested ahead of time and quarantines before travel, if one person has Covid or contracts it while traveling, then everyone will almost certainly contract it if you spend the entire weekend together. 18 household unit is a lot to mix.

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  • M
    Savvy July 2021
    Margouettha ·
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    This is also a big thing to consider also. I’m not planning my MOH and Best Man are planning. The Best Man is one of the ppl that are asking if his SO can also attend. So really we are just deciding if that is allowed or not so they can move forward with planning.
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  • Katelyn
    Savvy May 2017
    Katelyn ·
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    Gotcha. So personally, I would either go the hotel route allow everyone to bring the SOs if desired, and get several hotel rooms or suites. Everyone stays at the same hotel. The BM or GM who know each other can share, and if you're all in the same hotel, then you'll get a similar togetherness feel. But there will still be lots of non-shared spaces (or shared with only one or two people) and lots of bathrooms. OR I suggest renting a hotel for the BM and one for the GM. Then again, you have more space for everyone to spread out, they can bring the SOs and still have the availability of shared space.

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  • M
    Savvy July 2021
    Margouettha ·
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    This is definitely a great idea. Okay I will consider this idea for sure thanks!
    • Reply
  • MLS
    Dedicated September 2021
    MLS ·
    • Flag

    They aren't in the bridal party or wedding party- no thank you. It's not about their partners about the people you picked to stand with you and who you choose. You picked your bridal party, you didn't pick them for a reason.

    Hard pass.

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